Alanis and the E-Course: Lesson 5 (Thank U)

“Every morning I had the luxury of carving out two hours to be alone and I would just sob. I would read The Conscious Bride or The Conscious Bride’s Wedding Planner”, sometimes I would talk to friends, but mostly I did a lot of journaling. I was looking at all of my thoughts about what a wife and marriage is.” – Alanis from the Interview

Lesson Five of The Conscious Weddings E-Course is called “How Do I Manage My Fear and Anxiety?” If you’re drowning in engagement anxiety, the only thing you’re looking for is a lifeline that will pull you out of the quicksand. Part of the lifeline is accurate information, which is why the first four lessons of the E-Course are dedicated to replacing the false beliefs you may be carrying about transitions, relationships, real love, and perfectionism with the truth. But most people are hungry for tangible tools that they can start to practice that will transform the anxiety into serenity.

Lesson Five is chalk-full of these tangible tools. I offer five videos to teach you how simple breath and meditation techniques, as well as an accessible version of Inner Bonding and a visualization for connecting to your own source of higher guidance. There are articles and exercises that guide you through the minefield of the anxious mind. There are printable “Flashcards for the Anxiously Engaged” with mantras like

“At the core of every spiritual discipline is learning to work with the fear-based thoughts that intrude on the mind. When you commit to facing fear and learning about what it means to choose love, you’re engaging in a spiritual practice and are helping to heal the world.”

and

“It takes courage to address the hard feelings that emerge during this transition. It’s not easy, but new growth is never easy. This is how we grow: through pain, fear, grief, and loneliness. You will emerge stronger than you’ve ever been.”

I also remind you repeatedly that one of the most effective ways to banish fear is to connect to gratitude: “Gratitude is bigger than fear,” is another one of the flashcards. It’s here that, once again, Alanis shines with her ability to transform this practice into song:

Thank U

how ‘bout getting off of these antibiotics

how ‘bout stopping eating when I’m full up

how ‘bout them transparent dangling carrots

how ‘bout that ever elusive kudo

thank you india

thank you terror

thank you disillusionment

thank you frailty

thank you consequence

thank you thank you silence

how ‘bout me not blaming you for everything

how ‘bout me enjoying the moment for once

how ‘bout how good it feels to finally forgive you

how ‘bout grieving it all one at a time

thank you india

thank you terror

thank you disillusionment

thank you frailty

thank you consequence

thank you thank you silence

the moment I let go of it was the moment

I got more than I could handle

the moment I jumped off of it

was the moment I touched down

how ‘bout no longer being masochistic

how ‘bout remembering your divinity

how ‘bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out

how ‘bout not equating death with stopping

thank you india

thank you providence

thank you disillusionment

thank you nothingness

thank you clarity

thank you thank you silence

***

When we adopt the practice of gratitude, we remember that every challenge is an opportunity for growth. Like Lesson Four, we learn to redefine our faulty concepts so that we move into alignment with life on life’s terms. If you’re in the throes of engagement anxiety, you will bawl your eyes out. You will feel disillusioned and you will sit in the uncomfortable nothingness of the liminal zone. Then you will find your clarity. And like every person who’s been guided by my work says, you will feel immensely grateful for the experience because you will learn like you’ve never learned before. Transitions are accelerated courses in growth. Grab a good dose of gratitude, breathe, commit to your own daily practices (Alanis devoted TWO hours every morning to it), hang on, and you will find your way through.

***

Sheryl Paul, M.A., is regarded as an international expert in transitions. In 1998, she pioneered the field of bridal counseling and has since counseled thousands of people worldwide through her private practice, her bestselling books, “The Conscious Bride” and “The Conscious Bride’s Wedding Planner,” her websites, www.consciousweddings.com and www.consciousmotherhood.com, and her blog, http://conscious-transitions.com. She has appeared several times on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”, as well as on “Good Morning America” and other top television, radio, and newspapers around the globe. Phone and Skype sessions are available internationally for all types of transitions and ongoing counseling. She lives in Boulder, Colorado with her husband and two young sons.

1 comment to Alanis and the E-Course: Lesson 5 (Thank U)

  • JL

    Thank you for having real life spoken words from Alanis. She is amazing and gives me complete inspiration in all I do/am/beleive and aspire to be. Thank you~