Category Archives: Parenthood transitions

Free Teleclass: “What Nobody Tells You To Expect When You’re Expecting”

 

This morning I hosted a FREE teleclass on the topic of addressing your expectations regarding trying to conceive, pregnancy, and early motherhood. To listen to the replay, click on this link:

http://conscious-transitions.com/free-teleclass-birthing/

Remember when Brooke Shields broke the taboo on talking about postpartum depression? In this teleclass, together with a circle of experts, we broke the taboo on preconception, pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood and talked about topics that people simply don’t discuss anywhere else.

When people find my work on transitions, one of the most common questions I hear is, “How come no one talks about this?” The answer is that, when it comes to transitions, we live in a culture that propagates glossy-paged fantasies of unilateral bliss. We do not tell the truth, which leaves women and their partners feeling alone, inadequate and crazy, and prone to anxiety and depression.

In this free teleclass, we told the… Click here to continue reading…

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Kindergarten: A Glimpse Of Empty Nest?

Natalie and I met in the comments section of one of my posts on MariaShriver.com, where she mentioned her work with empty nest. It’s so rare that I meet other professionals who focus on transitions that I immediately and excitedly contacted her via email and, as empty nest is a bit of a hole on my site, I asked if she would contribute a guest post on this topic. Through our email discussions, the topic evolved to include the parenthood transition of starting Kindergarten, a popular (and often painful) topic for many of my friends and clients at this time of year. The following post is an intersection of these two topics of transition.

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I met with a mother and father yesterday, and together we watched their little one kick the soccer ball while continuously wiping her blonde hair out of her face.  She didn’t want a barrette. … Click here to continue reading…

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Birthing a New Mother Home Study Program Now Available!

My Birthing a New Mother program is now officially open for registration! If you sign up early, you’ll save $77 on the program!  
    
And the first 20 people who sign up will receive a spot one year membership to a monthly telephone support group hosted by me and guest experts.                                       

If you’re tired of feeling anxious or depressed during your transition of becoming a mother and you want to make sure that you’re ready to bond with your newborn and babyproof your marriage, I invite you to join me today for my new home study program, Birthing a New Mother: A Roadmap from Preconception through the First Year to Calm Your Anxiety, Fortify Your Marriage, and Prevent Postpartum Depression.

http://birthinganewmother.com/video-4

Here are a few important things to know about the program:

* It’s a self-paced program… Click here to continue reading…

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Trying to Conceive, Pregnant, or a New Mother? Free Video Training Now Available!

Most women who are trying to conceive, pregnant, or new mothers believe that if they eat the right foods, read the right books, and take the right classes, they’ll be able to manage their fertility or pregnancy anxiety, prevent postpartum depression, and be prepared to bond with their newborn.

I was one of these women, struggling either emotionally or physically at every stage of becoming a new mother. Although I had counseled thousands of women through transitions and had appeared several times as an expert on Oprah, nothing prepared for me for the emotional and spiritual earthquake of my own transition.

When my son was a year old, I threw myself into researching the motherhood transition, and that’s when I discovered the MISSING LINK.

http://BirthingaNewMother.com

Since offering my clients this missing link, I’ve watched every single one of them manage their fertility anxiety and calm their pregnancy fears. I’ve seen… Click here to continue reading…

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Zehra Agius - September 16, 2011 - 11:00 am

Hiya!

Ive gone to the neccessary pages & requested the birthing a new mother free video training but it hasn’t sent anything to my e-mail address??

I also requested the “five secret steps to begin your marriage with the best chance for sucess” report/ e-book & the 7 most common (& traumatic life changes) but haven’t received them either??

Can you e-mail me all 3??

Zehra x

Zehra - September 16, 2011 - 11:04 am

Hiya!

Ive gone to the neccessary pages & requested the birthing a new mother free video training but it hasn’t sent anything to my e-mail address??

I also requested the “five secret steps to begin your marriage with the best chance for sucess” report/ e-book & the 7 most common (& traumatic life changes) but haven’t received them either??

Can you e-mail me all 3??

Zehra x

Sheryl Paul - September 16, 2011 - 11:57 am

Hi Zehra – Please check your spam/junk folder as the confirmation email often ends up there. If it doesn’t show up, let me know and I’ll send you the links.

A Symphony of Contradictions

As brisk autumn brushes lips with hot summer, I become aware, as I always do this time of year, of the interplay of opposites and the symphony of contradictions that are inherent to life and are amplified during transitions. The bride is simultaneously grieving and exultant; the new mother longs for her old life as she celebrates the miracle in her arms; the parents ache in their empty nest while wondering what new possibilities will fill the spaces.

Lately, the urge to have another child has risen up in me. Deep down, I’m quite certain that we’re ready to close the door on childbearing, but as Asher grows into little boyhood and Everest into big boyhood, I’m left with the longing to start the process again with another baby. Is it my grief at watching them grow up that’s igniting this longing? Probably. Is there a part of me… Click here to continue reading…

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Sarah - September 5, 2011 - 9:10 am

Sheryl,
This is simply beautiful. Thank you. :)

The Birth Lasts a Day – The Child, A Lifetime

Last week, I was doing a search on my computer and I came across this journal entry from the third trimester of my first pregnancy. The entry was hidden in a strange location, otherwise I probably would have included it in my upcoming Birthing a New Mother Home Study Program. I haven’t read the entry since I wrote it over seven years ago, but the questions that I posed are exactly those that I answer in the program. Hopefully, this program will offer the roadmap to other pregnant women and new mothers that I was desperately longing for so many years ago.

 

June 28, 2004

There was a section in The Conscious Bride called “The Wedding Lasts a Day – the Marriage, a Lifetime,” in which I talked about the tendency in our culture to focus massive amounts of energy on this one day – albeit a special dayClick here to continue reading…

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Fear: A Love Story

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know that my older son, Everest, has been struggling with nighttime fears for almost two years now. Just after he turned five, he started seeing “scary shapes” in the blankets, then shapes on the walls, then a rotating nightly line-up would parade across his brain: spiders, dinosaurs, and every natural and cosmic disaster known and unknown to humankind, from tornadoes to being sucked up by a black hole. His vivid imagination, so clearly an asset to him during the day, was wreaking havoc on his brain each night as he tried to fall asleep.

The topic of fear in all its appearances and variations is near and dear to my heart, both personally and professionally. Throughout my 20s, I battled with my own panic and anxiety: in my early 20s, I stared fear in the face as… Click here to continue reading…

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Janelle - August 17, 2011 - 7:31 am

Such a beautiful story! Your boys are lucky to have you as parents and are blessed to have that brotherly love!

Sheryl Paul - August 17, 2011 - 8:10 am

Thank you!

Amy - August 17, 2011 - 9:52 am

I am crying reading such a lovely story. And I love that he is named after such a massive climb. Great job to all involved:>)

Heather - August 17, 2011 - 10:10 am

Such a wonderful reminder. J.K. Rowling consistently makes this point in the Harry Potter series as well! Harry consistently survives and thrives b/c of his love for others and others’ love for him, more so than all of the magic. A great reminder!

Sheryl Paul - August 17, 2011 - 12:07 pm

I love your reference to Harry Potter!

Tara - August 17, 2011 - 1:58 pm

Wonderful story, Sheryl. Thanks for sharing.

Everest Turns 7

He used to be so small. He slept on my chest or in the crook of my arm. He nursed in the sling and lived on my left hip. My husband carried him in the front pack as he walked to the bookstore or coffee shop. He weighed 7 pounds 3 ounces at birth and 21 pounds at six month.

I don’t know how much he weighs now. I’m not quite sure how tall he is. But I know that tomorrow he will turn 7.

And today I grieve. I’ve been slowly grieving for weeks, allowing myself to assimilate the reality that my baby, my first born, is turning 7. I grieve now so that I can celebrate him with complete, unhindered joy tomorrow. I grieve now so that I don’t hold him back with even a strand of my own pointless desire for him to stay young. I grieve… Click here to continue reading…

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Leisha - August 9, 2011 - 10:42 pm

Lovely post Sheryl. As I was swimming with my little Chloe yesterday I felt pangs of sadness as I watch her literally experience the joy of the pool and becoming an independent little girl that loves exploring the world and all the fun it brings her. What happened to me swaddling her? Feeding her just milk? Strapping her in the stroller and letting her see the trees on long walks? She seems to lead our walks now and wants out of the stroller! Selfishly I hate how quickly it goes, but perhaps as our babies become older we “grow” younger, enjoying a side of life we thought we were too old to ever see
again?!?!

Sheryl Paul - August 9, 2011 - 10:59 pm

I love this, Leisha: “But perhaps as our babies become older we “grow” younger, enjoying a side of life we thought we were too old to ever see again?!?!” Yes! Life is full of contradictions, and I love the idea that we can grow younger and older at the same time, and experience the sadness of loss and the joy of growth simultaneously. Whenever I touch into the intersection of opposites and allow myself to dwell there, even for a minute, I feel my soul expanding with breath and relief, as if it’s saying, “Yes! Now you’re getting the hang of it.”

Leisha - August 10, 2011 - 12:04 am

Yes, the contradictions bring an awareness I need to remind myself
to remain conscious of as I work through my anxieties
and worries. I definitely need to just “breathe” as you put it and grow and open my eyes and heart to the changes and loss of control I don’t want to always experience. It is a great thing to think about though. We probably would find the joy outweighs the fears and sadness if we let ourselves feel the pain as you so often suggest.

Sheryl Paul - August 10, 2011 - 8:06 am

Yes, the joy FAR outweighs the pain when we allow ourselves to feel all of it! This morning, Everest woke up and said, “I’m not sad today, Mommy! I’m 7!” And I’m not sad at all, either. Just full of joy and gratitude at the miracle of my son’s birth and his life – and the privilege of witnessing these milestones that mark the passage of time.

Nancy Swisher - August 16, 2011 - 9:07 pm

Hi Sheryl,
We haven’t met but I know your mom well!
I just wanted to let you know that I honor your
commitment to feeling the natural grief that arises
with transitions. I have always done that too. Thanks
for your beautiful writing and I hope we meet some day!
Love, Nancy

Sheryl Paul - August 16, 2011 - 9:11 pm

Thanks, Nancy. I know your name very well through Inner Bonding circles and I look forward to meeting one day. Thank you for your kind words and it’s nice to “see” you here!

Margaret Paul - August 17, 2011 - 4:58 pm

Once again, you bring tears to my eyes. I’m so glad that we got to be there to celebrate Everest!

Sheryl Paul - August 17, 2011 - 5:46 pm

I’m so glad you were here, too : )