Category Archives: Videos

Pema Chodron on Tonglen

Once my clients accept that grief, fear, loneliness, and vulnerability are natural and essential feelings inherent to transitions, they often ask, “How can I be with these feelings?” It’s the right question: how to be with difficult feelings instead of trying to avoid, distract or protect against them through staying busy or projecting them onto others. There are several ways to be with feelings. I always encourage my clients to journal. Crying is good. Talking helps when it’s with the right person who won’t try to talk you out of the feelings.

But one of the most effective practices I’ve found to process the strong feelings that arise during transitions is the Buddhist practice of Tonglen. The in-the-moment practice is very simple: breathe is what we normally think of as “not wanted” and breathe out what’s wanted or, as the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron says on her site, “When you… Click here to continue reading…

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Conscious Transitions TV: “Are you 100% sure?”

This is one the top questions that creates anxiety for my engaged clients, but it can really affect anyone in transition on the precipice of a major life decision. It’s simply unrealistic to believe that you’ll feel 100% sure about anything in life, and this video explains the reasons why.

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bettina - August 19, 2010 - 3:59 am

Sheryl –
Thank you so much for this wonderful video.
This helps me so much espacially because I will move next week…I just discovered your CTTV which is a great idea! You have such a warm way to explain what is going on in our heads, such a comforting charisma.
I am really looking forward to speak to you again next week.
See you then!
Bettina

Sheryl Paul - August 19, 2010 - 7:04 am

Bettina -

I’m so glad you found your way here all the way from Germany! Isn’t the Internet just amazing. Talk soon -

Sheryl

The Oprah Clips

From my first Oprah appearance in October 2003

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Conscious Transitions TV with Sheryl Paul: Waiting

In this week’s video blog, I read a short poem about the liminal second stage of transition called “Waiting.”

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Conscious Transitions TV: Be Careful Who You Talk To

In this week’s video blog, I explore how important it is to protect your internal space during the vulnerability of transitions.

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minnesota:madre | Sarah Jane - May 24, 2010 - 12:33 pm

I just found your blog via Heather. What a great find. I had my third babe in Oct. and it’s by far been the most difficult transition. Your words ring very true. Looking forward to more.
Sarah

Sheryl Paul - May 24, 2010 - 1:11 pm

Welcome, Sarah. So glad you found your way here. I can imagine how challenging the transition from 2 to 3 would be. Did you find it more challenging than 1 to 2? I’d be curious to know more.

Erin - May 24, 2010 - 3:51 pm

Sheryl,

Your work is helping me navigate thru the emotions of being a first time bride in the over 30 age group . . . I appreciate all your insight especially regarding with whom I listen to and gain insight from. I do agree that talking to my partner has helped us strengthen our bond and grow. You have helped me find courage to ask the difficult questions and be real with all the conflicting emotions of wedding planning / transitioning to marriage. Keep up the great work – you are a blessing!

- Erin

Sheryl Paul - May 24, 2010 - 3:57 pm

Thank you, Erin. I’m so glad my work has been helpful – and especially happy that you’ve grown closer to your partner through talking about the difficult feelings. I think most people are under the illusion that talking about the feelings will lead to conflict when actually the opposite is true. Blessings to you – Sheryl

Conscious Transitions TV: Reading from "The Conscious Bride"

Short reading from “The Conscious Bride” on the connection between weddings, death, and perfectionism, and how important it is to allow yourself to slow down in order to feel the difficult feelings inherent to this transition and avoid turning into bridezilla.

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Conscious Transitions TV: "Celebration is the Other Side of Sorrow"

In this week’s video blog, I discuss the fourth stage of transition – celebration – that follows the letting go, liminal, and rebirth of the first three stages. It’s during this fourth stage that the new resources and skills that have been hibernating often emerge.

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Sheryl Paul, M.A., is regarded as an international expert in transitions. In 1998 she pioneered the field of bridal counseling and  has since counseled thousands of people worldwide through her private practice, her bestselling books, “The Conscious Bride” and “The Conscious Bride’s Wedding Planner,” and her websites, www.consciousweddings.com and www.consciousmotherhood.com. She has appeared several times on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”, as well as on “Good Morning America” and other top television, radio, and newspapers around the globe. Phone and Skype sessions available internationally for all types of transitions.

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cheryl smock - July 21, 2011 - 6:52 pm

i need some native american to read at my husband’s service he died on 7-19-11 and i feel so lonely and i am from the souix nation and i just want to let him know he is alway with my spirit please send me something by email for what we believe as indians on death thank you so much

Sheryl Paul - July 21, 2011 - 6:58 pm

I”m so sorry for your loss. Please contact Celebrant Michele Davidson at michele at moderncelebrant dot ca and she’ll be able to help you.

Conscious Transitions TV: Managing Anxiety

Apologies for my head being cut off. I’m still learning about this video world!

In this week’s video, I discuss a simple and powerful tool for managing the anxiety that arises during transitions, especially when you’re feeling out of control.

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