I'm a devoted wife, a grateful mother, a little sister to three big brothers, a lucky daughter, and a soulmate to my soul-sister friends. I pray at the temple of nature and open in the presence of poetry. I'm inspired by the challenges and gifts of being in a human body, and I feel most alive when I'm connected to gratitude, to the present moment and, mostly, to love.

I’m deeply passionate about every aspect of transitions – from teething to adolescence, becoming a wife or husband, becoming a parent, moving, changing careers, etc. I’m endlessly fascinated by the cycles of death-liminal-rebirth that transitions follow, from the changing of the seasons to the arc of our lives.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by the breaking and renewal points in a human life, the cycles of nature, even the beginning and end of a new day. Through my early research I learned that, while indigenous and traditional cultures have elaborate rituals designed to guide their members through every life change, our culture leaves its members alone and bereft of the simple yet time-honored information that can make the difference between stumbling through transitions blindly and emerging on the other side as a more authentic, compassionate, and wiser person.

Through Conscious Weddings and Conscious Motherhood I’ve attempted to fill the gap around two of the most significant transitions in a woman’s life; with this site I hope to fill the gap around transitions in general, from the more obvious life transitions like moving, changing jobs, ending a marriage, and midlife to the more subtle changes like passing through the seasons and holidays, showing how transformational each of these can be when we approach them with courage and consciousness.

Transitions are one of the primary lenses through which I view and understand the world. Personally and professionally, the context and language of transitions help me make sense of life. Whether it’s my sons’ teething or my clients feeling anxious during their engagement, when I remember to contextualize the event through the archetypal pattern of letting go-liminal-rebirth, the anxiety and challenges are eased and I guide us into a more harmonious alignment with the transition at hand. This is what it means to walk through a transition with grace; we don’t fight it or resist it, but allow for the necessary emotions to move through us until we arrive at the other side stronger and wiser than before.

If you’re unfamiliar with my work, please take a few moments to read the tab entitled, “An Overview of Transitions.” It will give you a basic context for every transition you’re going through as well as a vocabulary for understanding my posts.

I look forward to connecting with you here! And if you’re enduring a specific transition that you’d like me to address, please let me know through the contact page.

***

Sheryl Paul, M.A., pioneered the field of bridal counseling in 1998. She has since counseled thousands of people worldwide through her private practice, her bestselling books, “The Conscious Bride” and “The Conscious Bride’s Wedding Planner,” and her websites. She’s regarded as the international expert on the wedding transition and has appeared several times on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”, as well as on “Good Morning America” and other top television, radio, and newspapers around the globe. Phone and Skype sessions available internationally.

Recommended Books and Films

Recommended Books

Recipes for a Perfect Marriage by Morag Prunty or Kate Kerrigan (same person)
An honest novel that depicts what a woman goes through as she learns to accept the man she married and redefines what real love is.

First Comes Marriage by Reva Seth

Why Talking Is Not Enough by Susan Page
The best book I know that views marriage as a spiritual path. Teaches very clearly how to take the high road during conflict and what it means to give.

The Truth About Love by Dr. Pat Love

How to create true love and addressing the fact that often times we fear what we want the most, especially when we get it.

101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married by Charlie and Linda Bloom
On the opportunities that marriage presents.

She and We by Robert Johnson
SHE explores the bride’s journey to consciousness and wholeness as seen through the myth of Psyche and Eros and WE dismantles the fantasy of romantic love so prevalent in Western culture.

The Yes Anxiety and Should I Get Married? by M. Blaine Smith
I haven’t read these but they’re often recommended on my message board. (I believe they have a Christian orientation.)

He’s Scared, She’s Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears that Sabotage Your Relationshipby Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol

The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells
A beautiful story of how a woman¹s impending wedding sets her on a journey of unraveling the complexities of the mother-daughter relationship.

On Transitions

Transitions by William Bridges
A seminal book on understanding the three stages of transitions.

The Way of Transitions by William Bridges
Bridges’ most recent book which he wrote following the death of his wife. Beautiful, honest, informative – I cannot recommend it highly enough.

When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Directions for Life’s Sacred Questions by Sue Monk Kidd (author of The Secret Life of Bees)
There are so few books that write deeply about the spiritual process that often accompanies transitions known as “the dark night of the soul.” This is one of them.

The Rites of Passage by Arnold van Gennep
Gennep introduced the term “rite of passage” to Western culture following his anthropological studies of indigenous cultures worldwide.

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche

Start Where You Are audio tape by Pema Chodron

Sitting by the Well audio tape by Marion Woodman

Recommended Films

Dinner with Friends
This funny and painfully honest film tells the story of two couples, long-time friends, who reevaluate their relationships when one marriage breaks up. Adapted from a play, the film contains powerful dialogue about the challenge, joys, and commitment of marriage and family.

Father of the Bride (1991)
A tear-jerker comedy about a father, played by Steve Martin, who has a hard time letting go of his daughter and admitting that she¹s grown up. It also depicts the stresses of planning a wedding, with the final message that weddings are really about two people who are deeply in love joining together as a family. A great film to watch if you have a close relationship with your dad and great recommendation to him as well.

Monsoon Wedding
A beautiful and accurate depiction of the family dynamics that can explode and resolve as a wedding nears. This Indian film also portrays the elaborate, ancient, and meaningful rituals that brides, grooms, and their families participate in to help them gracefully move through the transition.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding
A light-hearted yet insightful film about one woman¹s attempt to break away from her family¹s rules and regulations when she falls in love with a man outside her culture. The film delivers an important message about how to separate from family of origin and stand up for one¹s own needs in way that still invites family into the fold of the wedding and marriage.

The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Less about a wedding than the novel, the film tells the story of a woman¹s need to explore her past (especially her relationship to her mother) before she can move forward with her wedding plans.

Walking and Talking
A story of the friendship between two women and the earthquake that erupts when one becomes engaged.

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Jess - April 26, 2011 - 9:44 am

Hi Sheryl,

Can you recommend a book that is written similarly to The Conscious Bride for my male fiance? We will investigate the above recommendations, but your writing style is so straightforward and relatable.
Thank you for your work! I was engaged two months ago and felt a huge void for the support and explanation of this time that I needed. Then I found your book! Wow. It has literally lit the way for the exact kind of journey I was looking for. Thank you again.

Jess

Sheryl Paul - April 26, 2011 - 9:50 am

You’re so welcome! As far as a book for your fiance, sadly there’s no “Conscious Groom”. I had planned to write it but my publisher said there wouldn’t be enough of a market for it (not sure if that’s true). However, I’m currently creating an expanded 2011 version of my Conscious Weddings eCourse which will include an entire lesson just for the guy. It will be available within a month. Also, although The Conscious Bride is clearly written for women, the same principles apply to men. If he’s going through the same losses and fears as you, the book will help contextualize them for him and offer a roadmap. I hope that helps.

Suzie - April 27, 2011 - 6:25 am

Sheryl, the groom’s session in the e-course sounds very interesting. My fiancé in particular would welcome some help on how to interpret what’s going on with me- he’s finding it all quite hard and feeling pretty inadequate. Not so much the conscious groom (although I’m sure that would be helpful for some people, as you say) but more a bewildered one, who’s not sure what’s going on with the woman he loves. I have shown him some of your articles which he’s found helpful, but he could do with something tailored to his needs.
Thank you!

Sheryl Paul - April 27, 2011 - 7:29 am

Yes, the lesson in the eCourse will be to help the groom understand what’s going on with his fiance and to help with his feelings of inadequacy. In a nutshell, I’ll be telling the guys, “If you’re taking all of this personally, you should. It’s because you’re so different from every other guy your partner has been with that her fears are triggered. You’re stable, honest, responsible, and, most importantly, available, and that’s why she’s scared. Your only job is to trust that she’s getting the support she needs to work through her doubts and fears and keep reminding yourself that it’s because you’re so wonderful that this is happening.”

Sheryl on Oprah

"This is why I was so excited to do this show!" - Oprah
Conscious Weddings eCourse

"This course was the best thing that ever could have happened!" Anne Harman Solheim, Chicago
Sheryl Interviews Alanis

“Sheryl’s work was indispensable in helping me soothe my fears."
Birthing a New Mother Home Study Course

"What every pregnant woman and new mother urgently needs." - Dr. Christiane Northrup
Conscious Weddings eCourse

"Thank you for everything!" - Giuliana Montenegro, New Jersey
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