Loneliness is a Part of Life

One of the biggest obstacles to finding more wellness and equanimity is the belief that we shouldn’t be feeling what we’re feeling; that if we were more evolved or healed or with a different partner we wouldn’t feel so ________ (anxious, depressed, lonely, confused, empty, bored). Because we live in a culture that disseminates the message that everyone else is living a happy life, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that there’s a manual that you didn’t receive that outlines the steps for happiness. There is no manual, and if you look closely enough you will find that everyone struggles. The problem is that very few people talk about their struggles and so we collectively perpetrate the illusion that everyone else has it together.

One of the ways we perpetuate this illusion as a culture is that we’re not honest about our inner worlds and the struggles … Click here to continue reading...

The Risk of Living and Loving

On our way home from a lovely Christmas day with my family who lives about an hour away from us it started to snow. At first it was a wet sleet, but within a few minutes it thickened to a snow storm, and before we knew it we were driving through a white-out. The temperature dropped quickly, the slick roads turned icy, and everyone’s speed slowed to a crawl. We were driving in treacherous conditions.

I doubt anyone enjoys driving in those conditions, but being from California I seem to have a particularly strong aversion to driving in snow and ice. So I sat quietly next to my husband, who was intently focusing on the road, and sent out prayers for us and everyone around us: Please let us all arrive safely at our destinations. We’re driving in treacherous conditions. We passed a car turned upside down on the side … Click here to continue reading...

What Does it Really Mean to Be In Love

Because the only love I experienced before being with A was the ‘unrequited love’ type, I can feel that I have something missing with him. I am not in pain with him, I do not think about him every second of the day, I do not crumble when he does not text me back. I know it sounds silly and I am clearly looking back with rose-tinted glasses because I also remember that it’s a genuinely awful feeling, too. All the same, my wounded self is shouting so loud that what I have with A is NOT what I want. It shouts saying ‘I want someone that makes me melt’ ‘I want to feel proud of his incredible handsome looks and show him off’ ‘I want a man that is on a pedestal that I can worship, and never fades’.

I know that this is an unhealthy part of me, Click here to continue reading...