Whatever You Water Will Grow

This summer I was determined to grow a beautiful, thriving garden. Last spring I packed away my excuses (not enough time, it’s impossible with a toddler underfoot) and proceeded, under the tutelage of my dear friend, Lisa, to begin my seedlings in greenhouses beneath homemade ligthboxes. My older son and I attended to them faithfully each day and delighted as each little green sprout poked its head above ground. We watered them, transplanted them, and loved them. (Everest insisted on eating lunch beside them to make sure they felt loved.) And when it was finally time to plant them outdoors, we did so with tender loving care. This would surely be the year that we picked peas and kale straight from our own backyard!

All proceeded well for several weeks. I found time to water and weed them each day and, sure enough, the peas began to flourish. My soul … Click here to continue reading...

Anxious Thoughts Create Anxious Feelings

The majority of my clients find me when they’re in the midst of the marriage transition, stifled by anxiety and convinced it means that they’re making a mistake. What they fail to realize (until they come across my work) is that the anxious thoughts (“What if my marriage fails?” “What if I’m marrying the wrong person?” What if the fact that I’m not head over heels in love means I’m not supposed to be getting married?”) are creating the anxious feelings, not the other way around. We’re quite brainwashed in the current follow-your-gut, all-that-surrounds-the-wedding-is-bliss culture to believe that if we’re feeling anxiety during the engagement, it’s a sign that we’re making a mistake.

Here’s a typical scenario: You’ve been with your partner for a couple years, maybe more, maybe less. During that time, you’ve been mostly happy. You never felt that butterfly, chemical insanity that the unavailable ex inspired … Click here to continue reading...