Shrink Fear Grow Love

When the fear-fog clears, when the projection that has kept him separate from you and sealed a barnacle over your heart finally shatters, you see your partner as if for the first time. Not only do you see her clearly, in all of her sweet and simple splendor, but the delusions of separateness fall away, and you can see how under the hooks of

hair or

teeth or

height or

education or

ambition or

boredom or

do we have enough to talk about or

he’s wrong for me or

she’s not attractive enough or

I’m always irritated or

mannerisms or

humor or

social fluidity or

so-called chemistry

lives the voice that says:

I have loved you all along.

In those moments of clear-seeing, like sunshine after rain, it’s as if there is no “me” or “you” but only us, or maybe it’s fully me and fully you that makes the … Click here to continue reading...

Longing for Desire

Most people are familiar with the heart-aching pain of grief. Most people can identify the empty thud of loneliness. Most people know when they’ve been pricked by the green-eyed monster of jealousy, or taken under the thick, gray blanket of shame. But how often do we talk about longing?

In the container of my virtual office, I hear about it many times a week:

I long for a baby.

I long for a partner.

I long for my mother.

I long for my father. 

I long for the parents I never had.

I long for my childhood.

I long for a house.

I long for community.

I long for a best friend.

I long for God (or spirit, connection to something higher, whatever term works for you).

I long for a different climate.

I long for a different city.

I long to be single.

I long to feel alive.

I Click here to continue reading...