Death, Eventually

There it is, beneath the thoughts, the chatter, the doubt, the irritation, the barriers against love in all of its varied manifestations: the fear of loss, the fear of change, the excruciating awareness that we will, all of us, ultimately, be separated from the ones we love. At times it seems one of the cruelest realities of life on this planet: that we can love so deeply, but eventually we will separate. Yet as much as we can rail against life, beat our heads against the walls of the universe, argue, bargain, and rage, at some point we need to come into acceptance of death if we are to live our lives with any measure of peace. Death is what is, and to resist what is leads to suffering.

And yet… the more sensitive you are the more acutely aware you will be of death’s many faces, and the more … Click here to continue reading...

What If I'm Gay?

In a post entitled, “The Architecture of Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts“, I wrote:

Many of my clients suffer from the hell-realm of intrusive or unwanted thoughts. Thoughts like, “What if I’m a pedophile?” or “What if I’m a mass murderer?” or “What if I contract a deadly disease?” or “What if I don’t love my partner enough (or at all)?” parade through their minds day and night without reprieve creating a state of perpetual misery. The irony about people who are prone to intrusive thoughts such as these is that they’re among the most gentle, loving, sensitive, kind, creative, and thoughtful people you’ll ever meet. The thought is so far from reality that it’s almost laughable, except that it’s not funny at all because my clients believe the lie which, of course, creates massive amount of anxiety.

I neglected to include one of the most pervasive thoughts that … Click here to continue reading...

The Cookie-Cutter Marriage

With grateful permission, I’m sharing yet another brilliant post from my Conscious Weddings E-Course forum. This will give you another taste of the insight and wisdom that often pass through the virtual doors of this very special forum via the words of the compassionate, supportive, wise women and men that are working their tails off to break through their relationship anxiety. This particular member is a bright beacon of light for many of the E-Course members, and I’m delighted to share her wisdom and poetry with my broader community.

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I was journaling today about perfection and the resistance that arises when things don’t look like the mold I try to shape them into when a big ah-ha popped into view.

So often fear wants my marriage and life to look like a cookie-cutter. It doesn’t want life to not have shape and form. It wants it to look a … Click here to continue reading...

Doubt and the Drug of Happiness

With grateful permission, I’m sharing this post from my Conscious Weddings E-Course forum. This will give you just a taste of the brilliant wisdom that often passes through the virtual doors of this very special forum via the words of the compassionate, supportive, wise women and men that are working their tails off to break through their relationship anxiety.

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I had these two MAJOR REVELATIONS running through my mind as I went to bed last night, and I forced myself to remember them! So thought I would share: (sorry to soapbox, it’s just a major mental breakthrough for me!)

1. You know the “doubt means don’t” thing – well I was thinking about what that all these experts and ‘people’ are saying and what Sheryl has just posted about in her blog / Oprah’s response, etc. Well, maybe there are two kinds of people: People who are unaware and … Click here to continue reading...

The Architecture of Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts

Many of my clients suffer from the hell-realm of intrusive or unwanted thoughts. Thoughts like, “What if I’m a pedophile?” or “What if I’m a mass murderer?” or “What if I contract a deadly disease?” or “What if I don’t love my partner enough (or at all)?” parade through their brains day and night without reprieve creating a state of perpetual misery. The irony about people who are prone to intrusive thoughts such as these is that they’re among the most gentle, loving, sensitive, kind, creative, and thoughtful people you’ll ever meet. The thought is so far from reality that it’s almost laughable, except that it’s not funny at all because my clients believe the lie which, of course, creates massive amount of anxiety.

Or maybe it’s not ironic at all. Perhaps it’s precisely because of this high level of sensitivity and empathy that their mind has gravitated toward an … Click here to continue reading...