Anxiety is Not Your Destiny

MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

“I’m just an anxious person,” I often hear my clients and program members say. The statement underlines a common globalization belief intrinsic to many who struggle with anxiety, which is: I’m anxious, I’ve always been anxious and I’ll always be anxious. In other words, anxiety is just in my wiring and it’s here to stay.

Let’s talk a bit about wiring. We are born with certain predispositions: Some people are introverts, others are extroverts. Some love airplanes and others love art. Some excel at reading and others excel at math. Some like broccoli and others like carrots. Some babies roll with the punches and others are affected by the ups and downs of daily life. Where do these predispositions come from? We can that they’re hard-wired into our genetic code, but research shows that we can actually change our genetic code. So let’s take out the hard-wiring and say … Click here to continue reading…

. . . → Read More: Anxiety is Not Your Destiny

Loss of Light

IMG_4552

Light fading, time passing, big boy is ten, baby isn’t a baby and the time for having babies is over. The pregnant woman in the check-out line and it’s eleven years ago, pregnant with my own belly of hope and love, on the threshold of everything new and exciting. There was pain then, too, but it’s the joy and anticipation that come flying from past to present now, another layer of recognition that a stage of life is over. Oh, this life. Oh, the highly sensitive soul with the acute awareness of the passage of time and how it just keeps on marching on.

Light fading, time passing, my birthday week. When the years are filled with more wisdom and equanimity, why does a birthday bring grief? It’s not the birthday itself; it’s the transition, that a new age can only happen by letting go of the old. There’s a … Click here to continue reading…

. . . → Read More: Loss of Light

Angels All Around Us

One of my angels

There is so much pain in this world. There’s personal pain that often takes the form of anxiety, depression, addictions, and intrusive thoughts. There’s the physical pain of illness, injury, and disabilities, both short-term and chronic. There’s relationship pain when we endure conflict with partners, children, friends, colleagues, bosses, and family members. There’s community pain when we witness homelessness, poverty, isolation, and elder and child abuse. And there’s the pain of the world: war, disease, natural disaster, the effects of global warming, and the fact that every day we lose a species of animals. Widening circles of pain, like the ripples released from a stone dropped in water.

Let’s pause here for a moment. If you’re as sensitive as I am, reading a list like this can send you into a moment of despair. We tend to turn our heads from the pain and live in denial. Or we open so fully … Click here to continue reading…

. . . → Read More: Angels All Around Us

A Passionate Life

DSCF3533

Inspired by the courageous, wise members of my July 2014 Trust Yourself program. Quotes from the forum reprinted with permission.

***

My family and I were driving into town last summer when we saw a blue van pass by with the words “Mr. Pool” printed on the side.

“There goes Mr. Pool,” I said, as we had just hired him to finish hooking up our pool heater. And I had this moment of appreciation for the person who started Mr. Pool.

“Isn’t it great that someone had an idea or had a passion for pools and started his or her own business? It’s so much better than working in an office building for The Man,” I said.

My husband vehemently agreed. After working in cubicles for twenty years in the visual effects industry, my husband has a particular, visceral aversion to The Man.

“But wasn’t there some sense of … Click here to continue reading…

. . . → Read More: A Passionate Life

When Fear Meets Love

MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

When fear pricks the heart it flies in the face of every message about love we absorb from the culture: that love should provide a safe haven against the storms of life; that love should be easy; that love and fear are mutually exclusive, and that if fear enters the picture it means something is wrong.

Nothing could be further from the the truth. One of the most profound messages my life-changing therapist who I saw in my twenties shared with me is that the depth of the love is equal to the depth of the fear. In other words, each time you deepen the love – each time you move toward your partner and strengthen your intimacy – the fear deepens as well. Imagine that there are two wells living inside of you: a well of love and a well of fear. The well of love is filled with warm, … Click here to continue reading…

. . . → Read More: When Fear Meets Love