The Cycle of Healing

We learn and heal in ebbs and flows, spiraling around the center of ourselves where our true Self dwells. When we’re in a cycle of growth, we burn through layers of ego fears and touch into that core place of wellness where peace and clarity reside. Our hearts are open and alive and we can receive and give love with ease. This is the gold of being human, and how we long to live there always! But alas, inevitably, when the false self senses that we’re growing “too much” or learning “too quickly”, it bucks like a bull at a bronco, and it suddenly feels like we’re back at square one. Then we cycle into the ebb stage, and if we don’t have a context in which to understand the cycle of healing, the fear-mind can easily grab hold of these ebbs as evidence to support our current anxiety story.… Click here to continue reading...

The Dream of Happily Ever After

Originally published on The Huffington Post.

“Yes, for me the biggest dream is the fairytale. I will never give up on that dream,’ Jennifer Lopez said when asked if she would ever marry again.

With three divorces in her wake, I wonder how she defines “happily ever after.” And as a role-model for young girls and adolescents everywhere, I shudder to know she’s perpetuating the rampant cultural myth that, if you just meet the right guy, happily ever after is an achievable goal. How many more marriages will she end before she realizes that the common denominator in the failure is… her? How long will it take before she understands that a stable, loving relationship is happily ever after, and that those qualities only occur when both partners commit to enduring the inevitable highs and lows of a longterm love?

Nearly everyone in this culture has been brainwashed to believe … Click here to continue reading...

“I’m Not In Love”

A few weeks ago had a great session with the man I’ve referred to as “Matthew” in these posts. We’ve been working together for quite some time and have uncovered layer upon layer of false beliefs that are contributing to his unhappiness. But in this particular session we uncovered what I believe to be the core belief that is keeping him stuck.

I began as we always do, guiding him an inner process by helping him drop down into his emotional body and encouraging him to take several deep breaths into his solar plexus. With eyes closed, I asked him to sit with whatever arose from that emotional place. Immediately a wave of sadness emerged. I asked if the sadness was past or present and he said present. Then I asked, “Are there any thoughts that are creating this sadness?” To which he responded, “Just the same one, that … Click here to continue reading...

Alanis and the E-Course: Lesson 4 (You Learn)

“Perfectionism came in as well [during the engagement]. But if my number one priority is to evolve then there are no mistakes.” – Alanis from the Interview

Lesson Four of the Conscious Weddings E-Course is “What if These Feelings Mean I’m Making a Mistake?” or “Accepting Uncertainty”. It’s a scary question to ask during an engagement, but a natural outgrowth of the fear, grief, and confusion that accompany the transition in a culture that doesn’t understand transitions. In other words, if you expected to feel scared during your engagement, you wouldn’t mistakenly interpret the fear as a sign that you’re making a mistake.

But what is a mistake? As Alanis speaks to in her quote above, in the context of growth there are no mistakes, only opportunities to learn. Astonishingly, she seemed to know this at the age of 19 when she released “You Learn”:

You Learn

I … Click here to continue reading...

For The Anxiously Engaged: From ChristmasBride 2006 on The Conscious Weddings Message Board:

As part of the Conscious Weddings E-Course which I’m in the process of creating, I’m combing through thousands of posts from the now-closed Conscious Weddings Message Board and choosing the “best of” to be included in the course. I’ve come across many insightful and helpful posts which I’ll include in the E-Course, but this post, from the ever-wise ChristmasBride2006, deserves to be printed here as well. Thank you, CB, for your willingness to share your wisdom with so many anxiously engaged women. I truly believe that it’s your voice that saw many of the women on the board through their anxiety. The responses to this post were fabulous as well, but for that you’ll have to wait for the e-course : )

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Not that I am by any means a “seasoned” married woman, nor can I accurately (but most likely can) predict that my husband will remained married forever … Click here to continue reading...