Alanis Morissette

The 2010 Interview


It was an honor and a joy to speak with Alanis Morissette back in August about her recent transitions into marriage and pregnancy.

Consistent with her musical style, Alanis spoke with honesty and courage about the challenges she encountered during her engagement.

I’m deeply grateful for her willingness to help break the taboo that the engagement is supposed to be only a happy time and talk about her commitment to, in her words, “barrel through the fear thoughts” so that she could evolve toward love. I’m sure you will derive immense comfort and inspiration from her story.

Click the Play button to listen to this hour-long interview now:

Right-click here to download the interview to keep. (Choose Save Link As... or Save Target as…)

Learn from Alanis’ Lyrics about Relationship Transitions

Getting married

Over the next three weeks I’ll be writing a series of “Alanis-inspired” posts. The seven topics will be on where one of Alanis’ songs intersects with the seven lessons of my Conscious Weddings E-Course: From Anxiety to Serenity.

For example, Lesson 2 of the E-Course is called “Why Is My Partner Driving Me Crazy?” or Understanding Projection, and her song will be Madness.

In other words, I’ll be writing about how each of the seven songs elucidates a key point of the wedding transition.

Here’s one of my favorite quotes from the interview (which dovetails beautifully with Lesson 4: What If These Feelings Mean I’m Making a Mistake? or Accepting Uncertainty):

“The challenge was to be able to discern between the loud voice saying, ‘No! Don’t! Stop!’ and the truth. For me, I had to be able to stop and discern where that voice was coming from. Is this actually true? Am I actually making a mistake? Or is that I’m outside of my jurisdiction and in new territory that’s terrifying and my ego wants me to go back to my old comfortable ways.

“I had to not be reactive and say, ‘Okay, because I’m freaking out I’m calling it off’ or hit the pause button. Sometimes the pause button is great but for me I just wanted to barrel through the fear thoughts knowing that there were going to be a lot of voices that were attached to me being an individualistic person.”

Alanis Morissette

Thank you, Alanis, for your willingness to be honest and vulnerable, for your commitment to your own healing, and the healing of the planet. Let us all barrel through the fear and evolve in love.

Are you anxiously engaged and feeling scared about getting married?

Conscious WeddingsTired of feeling anxious about getting married? Wishing that you could feel close to your partner again?

The Conscious Weddings E-Course is the anti-anxiety medication for your soul.

It’s an instant download of comfort, inspiration, and practical tools for managing your anxiety and realizing your clarity and love.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. Here’s what Alanis Morissette said:

“Sheryl’s work was indispensable in helping me soothe and address my fears and anxieties around my engagement and approaching wedding day. Without her guidance, wisdom and assurances, my overwhelm may have clouded what turned out to be one of the calmest and most incredible days of my life.”

Alanis Morissette

This is the only e-course available to help you transform your engagement anxiety and marriage fear into clarity and serenity.

It includes seven downloadable lessons of exclusive videos, MP3 interviews, articles, checklists, and exercises.

Click here to find out more about The Conscious Weddings E-Course…


Don’t miss out on the upcoming Alanis-inspired series!

The seven new blog posts about Alanis’ songs will appear here (below the “Sign Up” button) as they’re published, but you don’t have to worry about remembering to come back here every few days.

Just sign up here for the Conscious Transitions eZine to have them delivered straight to your email inbox for free.

You will continue to be notified weekly after this Alanis series about other posts on life’s transitions.

You will also receive my new 78-page eBook Conscious Transitions: The Seven Most Common (and Traumatic) Life Changes absolutely free, as a Thank You gift.

You can unsubscribe at any time, there are no strings attached, and I will never sell or share your email address.


[catlist name=alanis excerpt=yes orderby=date numberposts=-1]

Click here to read more articles about dealing with transitions in life…


Sheryl on OprahSheryl Paul, M.A., pioneered the field of bridal counseling in 1998. She has since counseled thousands of people worldwide through her private practice, her bestselling books, “The Conscious Bride” and “The Conscious Bride’s Wedding Planner,” and her websites, and

She’s regarded as an international expert on the wedding transition and has appeared several times on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”, as well as on “Good Morning America” and other top television, radio, and newspapers around the globe. Phone and Skype sessions are available internationally for all types of transitions and ongoing counseling. Sheryl lives in Boulder, Colorado with her husband and two young sons.

11 comments to Alanis Morissette

  • TAL

    What a tremendous quote from Alanis Morrisette on (not) listening to that loud “NO!” voice. That was the first thing I had to learn how to do to be able to discern what I was really going through during my own engagement terrors (I’ve now been very happily married for almost two years and haven’t regretted it for a second). Thanks for this!

  • Maya

    What an amazing interview! And what an awesome feeling to be in the same “club” as someone like Alanis Morissette! This will be such an inspiration to so many. I especially loved what she said about making mistakes…how she had to remember that her goal in life was to evolve and not be perfect. Similarly, I believe that whether or not something is a “mistake” depends completely on how you choose to view it.

  • Always appreciate an Alanis interview–someone who doesn’t play word games and tells everyone, this time Sheryl, exactly how she feels. I sure hope the new year greets her with even more success than she has currently achieved!

  • p.h.

    the day my now-husband and i filed our application for a wedding license, i sat in my car alone and bawled, utterly grief-stricken. i did this several more times, and i spent the first many months of my marriage feeling sad and resentful without any sense of why. thank you for this.

  • Alejandro L.A

    hi, i want to asf you something: i am a single-gay man i am 27 years old i spent last 10 years with a kind of “soulmate” but our relationship is over. after 8 months i feel overwhelmed because i cant overcome this situation, i miss him so mucho, he is in my dreams every night and the worst part is that he is happy with other person now. i scream to God with my prayers but he never answers me….what can i do now?

    thank u very much for your advice.


    • It can take a long time to move through the grief and anger activated by a break up. If you haven’t done so already, please download my free eBook on Conscious Transitions, as there’s a chapter on Breaking Up. You can access it through subscribing to my eZine on this site. The pain of a break up is real and intense and requires vast amounts of time to grieve. The pain also often triggers old pain from childhood around situations where you felt abandoned or replaced. God is answering you, but perhaps not the way you think it “should” come.

  • SH

    Do you know if Alanis has written elsewhere about her relationship with her husband? I would have been interested to know more about her specific fears – e.g. Did she fear that she didn’t love him enough? etc. And also about perfectionism/ocd type thinking – e.g. Did they struggle with conflict? Do you know if she has written about this elsewhere? Thank you so much.

    • I don’t know if she’s written about her marriage elsewhere but I do know that she’s deeply committed to dealing with her core wounds and root fears, and will stop at nothing in her quest for healing – both in her marriage and in her life.

  • SG

    This website is so calming, pure and honest. I love what you have created here.

Leave a Reply