Sheryl’s note: The other night at dinner I mused aloud, “I wonder what I’ll write for my blog this week.” And then, in a flash of inspiration, I said, “Asher, do you want to write a guest post?”
Not only is Asher a gifted writer, but he’s a profoundly thoughtful and philosophical young man. At 17, he’s been grappling with the deep questions of life, death, the passage of time, grief, and suffering for as long as I can remember. Sound familiar? Yes, he’s a bird of our feather, this sensitive crowd who has found their way here! Of course, this comes as no surprise given that my husband and I are both highly sensitive people who do our best to channel the sensitivity into creativity, but it’s been joyful to watch Asher find his way with words, and how those words help him find his way with this challenging and beautiful life.
Asher was intrigued by the idea of writing for my blog, and we talked about some possible topics. Then he went into his room and out poured the following essay.
One of the things that strikes me about the essay (among many) is that, despite growing up in a world beset by negative news at best and catastrophic headlines at worst, a world where young people look to the older generations hoping to find hope and instead find despair, Asher has emerged into young adulthood with his optimism in tact. Never one to put his head in the sand, he sees the whole picture. He reads the news and has his finger on the pulse of what’s happening on our planet. But somehow he maintains a balanced and sanguine mindset about it all. He’s able to place our current challenges in a historical context and take a long view about our future.
In the following essay he addresses the philosophical question: Given the suffering that humans inflict on the earth, animals, and ourselves, would the planet be better off without us? Weaving multiple strands of thoughts, he addresses the question with an extraordinary ability to hold paradox and nuance, arriving at not so much an answer as a possibility.
And now I share with you our beautiful son, Asher Finn: storyteller, filmmaker, and thoughtful human.
P.S.: I started writing this blog when Asher was 6 months old. Talk about marveling at the passage of time that I’m now sharing his writing!
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It has been recorded by scientists that certain grizzly bears will sometimes hike mountains for no reason. There is no food at the top, no great stream. “Why,” you must ask, “Would a bear hike a mountain for no reason?” Well, it’s also been noted that once the bear reaches his or her destination, (s)he pauses at the top and sits for a while. If you didn’t know better, you might think bears climbed mountains for the views.
But let me change gears. Let’s talk about bad things. Awful things. Let’s talk about people. In front of me, on my desk, is a collection of short stories by one of my favorite authors, Neil Gaiman. I love Neil Gaiman. As a writer, at least. His prose is beautiful, his stories are full of layered characters and fantasy and magic and old gods and new gods and you’re hooked from the very first sentence all the way until the last. I always wanted to be like Neil Gaiman, a great modern writer… until two years ago, when a four-part podcast exposé dropped following the allegations of several women against him. I won’t get into the details, but it was bad. Now, I’m left with a choice: do I still read novels by Neil Gaiman, knowing every time I do that I must remember I am reading words written by a monster?
But more than that, if Neil Gaiman was never born, his victims would have quite possibly lived normal, unscarred lives. But if there was no Neil Gaiman, there would be no Neil Gaiman novels. So, would the world have been better without Neil Gaiman? Does the wonder and magic he fed into the world cancel out the pain and suffering? While millions of people read his books and many (myself included) were inspired to become writers themselves, his victims suffered immensely. So, does the suffering of a few outweigh the added slight joys by many? I don’t have an answer to this question. If your answer is, “Yes, the world would have been better off without Neil Gaiman,” then let me ask you this: would you also want to live in a world without Pablo Picasso, Gandhi, Thomas Jefferson, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Florence Nightingale? Picasso was a misogynist, Fitzgerald mistreated his wife, Jefferson owned slaves, and Nightingale and Gandhi were racists.
Let me expand upon this even more. It is autumn now, and all through the summer, our town in Colorado has been in a period of drought. The lawn is wilting, the rabbits lay down flat on the grass to escape the heat, and even the bugs seem to be dying. Now if this current heat is due to weather cycles or global warming is up for debate, but if it is due to global warming then we, the humans, the only species that can fathom this disaster and grieve the world before it, are also the species responsible. We are the victims and the perpetrators. Our individual lives consume resources, displace animals, and splatter insects across windshields. It might be easy to think that we are a curse on the world, a locust plague, but the locusts are the ones dying. And I haven’t even mentioned human suffering. Millions of people are currently enslaved, or being tortured, or dying of some horrible disease. The only way to truly prevent all human suffering is for there to be no humans.
So, it makes you wonder: would the world be better off without us?
Well, let’s pretend we are all Neil Gaiman (unpleasant, I know). We are the great novelists of the animal world. We make art; no other animals do that. We make music; birdsong isn’t music, despite the name. We spoil our pets rotten; your cat or dog would have to fend for itself out in the great wild if it wasn’t for humans. And, of course, we make each other happy. We save each other from disasters, dance together, create incredible movies (think: Back to the Future), entertain children (and if there is anything that makes you believe that humans deserve to exist, it is children), and so on. So, those are our novels. And the earth, us included, is our victim. Do the joys we provide outweigh the cons? Sometimes I think they do, and sometimes I think they don’t.
We are parts of the universe that has become aware of itself, atoms that assembled into the right shape that have somehow become conscious. That must make us special, right? If we were gone, the universe would cease to perceive its own beauty. There would be no one to write poetry and no one to appreciate nature.
Or would there be?
It’s time to return to the bear. If it’s true that bears climb mountains just for the views, then that whole prior statement would be wrong. It brings me some comfort to think that if there were no humans, there would still be conscious beings to appreciate the beauty of the world. So, there you go, I guess we really are insignificant and the world would be better off without us. In fact, a bear could do our jobs. Not so fast.
I think we are the bear. Or we were the bear. Or both. The bear causes suffering, too, mind you. They kill fish and other animals, even other bears sometimes. They aren’t trying to inflict pain; they are simply living. So, the bear does its living, and does its killing, then hikes a mountain to enjoy the beauty of the world. The bear is not so different from us. To the trout, the bear might be a horrorsome beast, a plague on the forest that they wish they could escape from, and to the bear, we might be the same. In many ways, humans have lessened the cruelty of the world. We don’t eat our children or slay our spouses. We don’t crawl around in the mud and kill each other with our bare hands over food. At least most of us don’t. So if the bear deserves to exist, don’t we?
I think we used to be something like the bear. A half-conscious creature that did not sing or dance, but did enjoy mountain views. I mean this in the evolutionary sense – that many hundreds of thousands of years ago our ancestors were creatures much like this – but also in the current sense. We all grew from babies not much larger than a grapefruit, and in that stage we could not speak or play the piano or paint beautiful masterpieces. I also believe that if we no longer existed, perhaps bears would keep growing and changing, and in a few million years animals that looked a bit like bears but acted a lot like humans would point up at the night sky, and instead of seeing Ursula Major they would see Hominid Major, or The Great Man in the Sky, and they would regale their cubs with stories of ancient empires that rose and fell long before them.
What I am trying to say is that our human stage of immense consciousness is inevitable, and even if it isn’t, I think it should be. There is no beauty without some suffering, and no living beings that do not cause some pain. I think that we create more than we destroy, and hopefully we love more than we hate. I think any animal that sees beauty and creates it deserves to exist, so I guess us and bears are in the same boat (even though I don’t think I’d want to be in a boat with a bear). The world is a better place with humans in it, and I know I’d be pretty sad if there were no more people to watch Back to the Future.
What a wonderful blog post, congrats Asher and Sheryl!
Thank you!
How bold to 1- hold, and 2- share views that are so nuanced and exploratory, especially in today’s climate where the tolerance for it seems so low. I admire your courage!
This closing sentiment was a slam dunk and will stick with me:
“I think that we create more than we destroy, and hopefully we love more than we hate. I think any animal that sees beauty and creates it deserves to exist”
I’m thankful to know there’s members of the younger generation that are capable of this depth of thinking and OPTIMISM 🙂
Bravo Asher. Such a great approach to multiple sensitive topics. You approach it with wit, and understanding the paradox of our existence and what it means for the universe to be able to reflect on itself. You also reflect on the imperfect nature of being humans who can create beauty with one hand, and destruction with the other and you tied all together with Back to the Future, the greatest film ever created. Jung and others would say consciousness has a long trajectory… unfolding across aeons.
Thanks dad!
I love this. It is uncomfortable to hold nuance, to hold the questions unanswered, and yet it feels like the most mature and responsible path. Thank you, Asher. Much to reflect on. Well wishes from Western Australia.
This was a beautiful read. Thank you Asher. I am amazed that such wisdom could come from someone so young. You have inspired and consoled me, and I am exactly 30 years older that you! Keep writing and creating and sharing and inspiring. You have a real gift.
Thanks for reading, Clara. I really appreciate your kind words.
Wow Asher. So eloquently put and reflects a lot of my own thoughts! At 17 this is just immense. I hope youre not too humble and are proud of this piece!
Sheryl. Like I said on a previous post recently I started reading you and doing your course in my early 20s when your kiddos were young. Now I have 3 young children. This makes me so excited to see what pieces of genius my own could come out with. You have raised a diamond of a human xxxx
Thank you Zoe. This might be the nicest thing I’ve ever read.
Oh Asher! This was SO beautiful! Thank you for being you and sharing these beautiful thoughts with us. Your inquisitive and healthy sense of self-authority while simultaneously wrestling with these difficult thoughts normalized my humanity (and probably so many others) so much. I’m honored you shared all of this with us.
Also, I’m convinced now that sensitive souls need to be getting together and sharing these types of thoughts together more regularly. Do you think all of our jobs would give us a day off every week to just do that? Haha – I want to work towards and believe in that world!! 🙂
Thank you, Julie! I personally think 3-day weekends should be normalized 🤷♂️
Asher, that was a really interesting essay. Fortunately for me I have not read Neil Gaiman’s work, so that lessens my dilemma where he is concerned😀but I have stopped listening to music by artists who have been convicted of certain crimes, or have been reliably accused. With Gandhi and Nightiingale and racism, along with Churchill and many others, some of their views were common in every culture, and prejudice towards people against or within a race or culture or religion have always existed. It is indeed important that everyone now is open to challenge about these prejudices so we can be open and welcoming to all. You have had a great start in life, and I’m sure you have met others who have not been as lucky, and I know that whatever you choose to dedicate your life to, both personally and professionally, will be enriched by having you in it. Go well 🙂
Thanks for reading, Lisa. I agree that Nightingale and Gandhi’s prejudices were not as bad as assault or rape, but many people existed during their time who did not share their views. I think their behavior is partly excused by the world they existed in, but not entirely. However, I still don’t think that means we should discount all the good things those people did.
Thanks for your response, Asher. Just the Atlantic stopping me from popping round for a coffee and a good chat 😅
😂😂
I love your originality, Asher—here I am now imagining a world of bears as artists. You sculpted an image, and from there, carved an entire world originating from this image—bear on a mountaintop—and now I’ve crossed a threshold into a world of thoughtful possibility. Thank you for that gift and for taking me to that mountaintop. I deeply appreciate your ability to consider so many pathways of possibility with such tender and graceful honesty. Thank you!
Your words mean a lot to me. Thanks for reading.
One of your last sentences “even though I don’t think I’d want to be in a boat with a bear” made me smile! A playful twist! You are inspiring me to get back to writing my Substack which I have neglected for several months. Thank you for sharing some of your deep thoughts with us.
I’m glad I could inspire you. Thank you for reading.
What a wonderful post, Asher! You have a way with words. I love the way you write with such wisdom with humor mixed in. Keep writing. You are talented!
Thank you!
I’m so glad you wrote this Asher as I’d been thinking a lot about nature lately and how each being destroys other beings so they themselves can live. I guess humans do belong as we’re just another animal doing our thing. All life is imperfect, and yet perfect enough to live. What a wonderful article!
Thank you, Wendy. I’m glad you found it meaningful.
What an incredible writer you are Asher! I’m shook, in the best way possible. I’m not sure if you or your Mother chose the topic that you wrote about, but it’s one that I’ve often pondered as well- especially during Covid when we got a sense of how the natural world changed when we all just sat still for a moment. I truly appreciated hearing your perspective on this topic and am so moved by the wisdom (far beyond your years) that you shared. Thank you! 💕
The choice of topic was entirely his. We talked in general about things like “grief, loss, autumn, passage of time” and then Asher left the table and returned a couple hours later with this. His mind works in ways that are far beyond me!
Many wise souls under your roof. 🥰
Thank you! Your comment means a lot to me.
And…..as someone who just gently rehomed a tiny spider from our family room to our backyard, it gives me comfort to know I’m not the only one who thinks about the little insects killed by our moving vehicle.
Wow Asher.! Existentialism at its finest.
You have a deeply compassionate understanding of the opposites – that most of us are victims and perpetrators all wrapped into human flesh, our circumstances so often dictating which character is at the fore front. With that said, I wouldn’t read the author or celebrate the artist once I’ve heard such things. But then again, how do we even know what’s really true? Bravo, what a writer you are!
Hi Carrie! Thanks for reading.
Wow. Asher. Please keep putting pen to paper and deep heart- medicine to our demons.
You see what so few of us are able to recognize, let alone hold at once; we are the darkness and the light.
That you are speaking all this in your art is a salve to the sharp edges of our misdeeds
Bravo and thank you
Thank you, Jonny!
What a great piece of writing (and superb piece of thinking too!). I’ve often grappled with the terrible acts of incredible artists, and your philosophy on it – and bears! – has given me a new perspective. Plus, I now know that bears go hiking for the view! Thank you, I’m so grateful I got to read this today.
Hi Emma, thank you for reading. I’m really glad I was able to impact you in this way.
What a treat to read and as others have said, please keep putting pen to paper Asher. You have a gift and it is so nice to see original writing and thought with such depth in this time of so much AI slop!
Thank you Clair! Death to AI slop!
This made me tear up. Thank you so much for sharing. It’s wise and innocent- a sweet contrast that makes me think your son is an old soul that sees the world with fresh eyes. It reminds me of myself all those years ago. All my love to both of you.
Thank you, Neliona. He is, indeed, a wise, old soul.
Thanks for reading. Your comment touched my heart.
What a poignant essay that really makes you think. I love the both/and. Sheryl you must be so proud of this young man! He is intelligent beyond his years. You will do great things, Asher!
Thank you, Nina!
This was absolutely incredible! Thank you so much for such a stunningly beautiful post, which truly was exactly what I needed to read today during my regular grapple with the ambivalence of both the beauty and pain in this world! What a talent you have to bless the world with; thank you Asher, from over here in England!
I appreciate the kind words. Thanks for reading, NJ.
Such a great post exploring the polar opposites of all living creatures ……. the light & the dark. Some of the dark was once accepted as the norm but now isn’t as opinions & beliefs have changed/evolved. I’ve always been a deep thinker too & have come to the conclusion that each future generation will judge the previous one harshly. Our behaviour & beliefs today will be questioned …… whether or not thats progress is yet another unanswerable question as perfectionism just doesn’t exist. The post is really thought provoking ……. well done Asher.
I think it is progress, but it does make you wonder what horrible atrocities we are committing today that will one day be judged by future generations.
Asher, I experience this as an act of bravery – to frankly discuss such profound and complex issues, from both your mind and your heart. It reflects many of the thoughts and dilemmas that I have circling around in my brain on a daily basis. In that way, it provides comfort and validation to see them reflected by another human being, by you. You have captured such beautiful nuance and complexity in your questioning and thought process. Thank you for the offering – it helped expand my perspective and loosen the knot of my challenge and despair with humanity.
Thank you, Lauren. I’m very glad I was able to expand your perspective. I think it’s easy to get stuck in your beliefs, so I always try to find the nuance.
Oh how beautiful and I really enjoyed this piece Asher. You have your mother’s talent and sensitivity for sure. My thought is that we must embrace all aspects of humanity too, it is ugly and tough and dreadful at times, but the beauty, love, and majority of positive, caring, humans definitely outweigh them. ! challenge to you, the Wizard of Oz may be a rival for Back to the Future!! I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Thank you, Rachel! I really need to get around to watching the Wizard of Oz.
This is such a beautiful and nuance-filled piece of writing. Thank you for bringing in such critical thinking during a time where the world seems to want to make everything black and white. I can’t to read more of your writing Asher! <3
Thank you for reading, Silvy. I think it’s disturbing how black and white the news cycle and social media paints the world. We should all try to find the gray.
Sheryl, aww and ouch, this touched my heart. I can feel how proud you are of your son, how thoughtful and philosophical he is and want to share it with the whole world, at least the whole internet 🙂 <3
I am a middle-aged woman and have been pretty much the same all my life, whether I wanted it or not, maybe I was just "born this way". My mother and other people have said to me, visibly annoyed and impatient, how I "talk too much, think too much, write too much, think too deep, analyse too much". My basic nature is wrong to them, all the time. But this is just my way to exist, as a human being, my way of understand, process, perceive this experience called life…
You clearly witness, encourage, celebrate your son to "be this way" and I think it is so beautiful, just the mere thought makes my nervous system relax!<3
I’m so sorry you grew up in an environment that didn’t honor your essential nature, which is clearly one of great depth and curiosity. Yes, one of our primary intentions with our kids was to raise them in way that honored exactly who they are, what they’re interested in, what they believe, even when it differs from our values and beliefs. If we weren’t raised with this kind of unconditional acceptance and celebration, as adults one of our tasks is to bring this mindset to our own nature so that we can embrace the fullness of who we are.
You had an intention. I love that! Made me think, how many parents have any intentions at all? As a child, my mother “forced” me to play piano, many years. Later, my parents pressured me to study at the university. I did not liked to be there, but did graduate and many good things came as a side-effect from the university studies. I realised today, maybe there is a difference to have an intention and good intentions! I hope my parents had good intentions, at least. Heh, could I write to you the next guest blog post? 😀 In the spirit of Asher’s blog post, I indeed think now, that maybe many things in life are not so black or white but kind of so-so. PS. Do we deserve to exist? From my religious-spiritual-personal opinion now, I would say yes! But of course not everything that humans do is okay or acceptable.
I was especially struck by the multilayered, nuanced exploration of shadow and light, and by the way the bear anecdote brought those ideas so vividly to life. There’s a beautiful depth and resonance to your writing, Asher. It seems the gift of storytelling truly runs in your family.
Congratulations on an incredible piece of writing, Asher! I was struck by its clarity, depth, and, most of all, its proof that wisdom is held by the young as much as by the old. I adored the inclusion of the bear, as I’ve often watched bears in my backyard engage in behaviour that seemed to have no practical purpose, acts akin to simply enjoying the view. When next I see these magnificent creatures, I know I’ll remember your words, ones which will deepen the experience. I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future, too!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful writing Asher! What you wrote brought tears to my eyes with its poignancy, but it also made me laugh at points. I love the amount of nuance you bring to the topics you explore in this piece. Keep up the great work!
Nice blog post, kid. Can’t wait to see the thoughtful movies you are going to write and direct… please keep it going for all of us! love, Linda
Wow Asher, your understanding and acceptance of this condition we call human is well beyond your years. Keep exploring, inquiring and conjecturing as the lessons you teach from the insights you receive will be a blessing for this world.
Asher, I love how you’ve rooted this piece in nature to hold complexity and compassion. It’s the first place I look for wisdom, but I hadn’t looked in this way. Thank you.
Gosh this is crazy, I began reading this blog just as I was starting university and I have been a reader ever since. I was studying theology and as it happens I love the name Asher and its meaning of blessing. Your mum was a blessing and you are now a blessing and may your children and your children’s children be a blessing!
Thank you, Anila! And thank you for your loyal readership.🙏🏽