How to Grow Love and Attraction to Your Loving Partner

by | Feb 17, 2019 | Open Your Heart | 72 comments

This comment on one of my recent blog posts speaks to the very heart of my work on love and attraction:

Sheryl’s right – attraction CAN be grown! My husband has the qualities mentioned in today’s post in spades(!) + more… and that’s what kept me walking the relationship out, even though I didn’t (not even at the beginning and for 3 years after) feel the “spark” or that sense of “desire”. But something deep down knew that he was an oatmeal kind of love. The lack of excitement and repulsion is very possibly a defense mechanism. As I did the work and slowly unbricked my walls, surprise surprise… the spark showed up 😉  My husband has become THE MOST handsome man to me, in all his middle-aged, dad-bod glory 🙂 Nobody else is doing a double take, but man, his smile melts me faster than an ice cube in hell! All to say, attraction is a natural outflow of love finding a home.  

Let’s unpack these words of gold.

Repulsion is a defense mechanism.

If it’s taboo to admit that you don’t find your partner attractive sometimes (or a lot of the time), how much more taboo is it to admit that you find him or her repulsive at times? And who in their right mind would encourage you to stay with someone who repulses you?

I would.

And so would thousands of my readers and course members, like the one above, who have stayed on the path despite everything in the culture and every fear inside their head telling them to run. Like so many aspects of love and attraction, our culture operates on the first surface level, which means it takes every thought and feeling at face value. Feeling repulsed by your partner? Time to run. But when we pause and understand that repulsion is an outgrowth of our own fear of love and a defense against the risk of loss that real love poses, we can approach the unbearable feeling of repulsion with less reactivity. This baseline shift in mindset is the precursor for the Love Laws and Loving Actions that can “unbrick the walls” of fear and soften them to reveal the love and attraction that live underneath.

Attraction is a natural outflow of love finding a home.

Please read that statement again because it’s nothing short of brilliant. Attraction is a natural outflow of love finding a home. And here’s the thing: it can take a while for love to find a home. You’ve found a loving partner. You’ve found someone who you basically trust. But the feelings aren’t there. You don’t find her to be the hottest woman on the planet. You question his lack of ambition or education. You wonder if you’re just too different. You know he or she would be a great partner for someone else, and truthfully on paper everything looks great, but something is missing. And everyone knows that these magic secret ingredients – that sense of undeniable certainty and lustful attraction – are essential to long-term happiness.

Again, I hold a different view.

The first layer of love finding a home means you’ve found someone with whom you feel safe and with whom, underneath the fear and projections and doubts, you have a sense of home. But it’s the second layer that is more subtle and takes longer to cultivate: when fear softens and quiets enough, when you identify the roots of your projections and are able to name how powerfully the fear of loss of self and other lives inside the projections of “not enough”, then fear steps aside and love finds a home. Love finding a home means you’re able to love through action the one you’re with. And as the reader commented above, through this clear-eyed seeing, you fall in love and feel deeply attracted to your partner. Not every day and not all the time. But more days than not true attraction and sweet feelings of love hum through your days and nights.

Mark Nepo says it poetically, as always:

“In truth, it has never been about first meeting, though this can happen, but more about first coming into view. As a breeze spun out lets the water go clear, we finally stop talking, stop performing, stop pretending, and all tired out, we go clear, and the heart that rests in everything beats before us.”

All this to say that attraction can be grown.

Yes, attraction can be grown.

And it’s not so much growing attraction as it is shrinking fear and growing love. But how? This is what I teach in Open Your Heart: A 30-day course to feel more love and attraction for your partner. Miracles don’t happen in thirty days, but seeds can be planted, new habits can begin to take root, and when you water those baby seeds they grow into the garden of love that we all seek.

All of this takes time, but it can happen more quickly and less painfully – meaning with more patience and less anxiety – when you have the roadmap that guides you through the Love Laws and Loving Actions that shrink fear and grow love. My 14th round of Open Your Heart is now open for registration and it will begin on March 2, 2019. I look forward to guiding you and meeting you there.

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72 Comments

  1. Hi Sheryl, do you think the lack of safety inside urself can also attribute to lack of safety w your partner? I think I know the answer is yes. Which I think goes along with the lack of connection to self and others. Tho I’m growing I still look for reasons why I can’t trust my partner, which could be anything from politics to a comment I didn’t care for. Overall he is very trustworthy but I can tell I look to our differences whether in viewpoint or personality to prove he isn’t. Maybe because having to trust and emotionally connect feels too scary or risky? And if it wasn’t safe in the past with my family why would it be now? I tried to escape from what all felt unsafe and unloving with my family and since my partner reflects so many of those Unhealed areas (tho I know he isn’t my family and is a safe person) I can see myself getting stuck in those thought loops again on our differences and i start castrophizsing and nitpicking everything. Would love your thoughts.

    Reply
    • So I rethought that after going for a run. Usually during my whole run all I’m thinking about is the pain. I don’t spend much mental energy thinking about how I can actually accomplish my goals or the positives. And it hit me, “I bet this parallels to my RA. It’s so much easier to focus on the lack rather than find other positive ways to see things and work w my thoughts.” So in my run I started telling myself different things. Like “you are such a champion for doing this.” Or “ur doing great. Keep going!” And lo and behold my run was better and at the end My mood was better. So I think more change needs to happen inside me.

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      • You got it, SR: the change begins inside, and yes, the fear-based ego will always be looking for reasons why it’s not safe to love and focusing on differences is one of them. There’s a part of us that believes that if we were with our clone we would never feel unsafe or threatened. More on this in an upcoming blog post…

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        • Thanks Sheryl! I was watching Bohemian Rhapsody (the movie) tonight and there was a part in there that touched on differences. Freddie the lead singer has left the band and returns to reconcile. He says “I went to music and hired a bunch of guys who did everything I told them to do. And it was terrible.” Then he goes on to talk about the differences that each of the guys in the band has and how he saw how much it made them all better and who they were as a band. Love how insights come at the right time!

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  2. I’m so lucky that my own therapist also reads your work, Sheryl. I’ve been in my relationship for 7 years and well, I’m still in it. Regardless of the crippling anxiety, the repulsions, the fear and pretty much every darn thing my fear eyes can come up with I am still in my relationship thanks to your work.

    I’m so grateful.

    My dog of 14 years died 4 weeks ago and as a highly sensitive person who was soul-mate level attached to this dog, I am devastated. It’s taken every tool in my box to not just run away and tear apart every piece of my relationship because my grief and fear is so extreme. Somehow in the midst of my pain and chaos I am able to understand my relationship anxiety is hiked and I don’t have to act on every repulsion. Every little thing my partner does is wrong through my fear eyes. Every word he speaks makes me want to crawl out of my skin and start a new life with someone easier.

    Without your blog and your work I wouldn’t be able to distinguish between fear and love. Thank you.

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    • Wow,…”start a new life with someone easier.” My gosh, you’ve just pointed out a reoccurring thought that completely torments me. I really relate to that style of anxious thinking. My husband is loving, solid, trustworthy, and good to me, but some parts of his personality are just really hard to deal with. I often catch my mind wandering off and imagining life with someone happier and more positive than him. Deep breath— I guess I’m working on the tolerance part. I also remind myself that as a sensitive person, I dont need to internalize HIS feelings. My work is to learn better boundaries and give myself what I need. Anyway, so much gratitude for your sharing– makes me feel normal. Thank you.

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      • MH
        I feel you. It’s not easy stuff. UGH! I have an extremely hard time day to day. I hope one day we both are able to dwell more in our love than in our fear. Hugs.

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    • I can hear in your comment how deeply you’ve integrated this work and understand that it’s in times of deep grief and transition that we project onto our partners and the world around us. What a blessing that you’ve had a steady and wise guide in your therapist all these years. Thank you for sharing here and sending you love during your time of loss.

      Reply
      • Is it possible that, if there is a change in my life and comfortzone because of huge steps careerwise that cause feelings of stress (i am highly sensitive and always been anxious and scared to fail and find it very difficult to deal and accept those feelings even if the change is positive) on a different area than my relation, that my (r)-ocd spikes up again as an old pattern and projection onto my relation?

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        • Yes, that’s exactly how projections and intrusive thoughts work.

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          • I never thought of that.. i am undergoing a massive career change that frightens me. I pushed those fears away completely . And ‘all of the sudden’ my old friend rocd was back out of nowhere (well a minor disagreement with my partner was the trigger) I noticed i was numb about the careerchange (projection).. so that makes sense in a strange way thanks for the insight!

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    • I have a wonderful writer friend who is an HSP and dog blogger, who wrote a book about the tragic loss of her soulmate dog. It’s called Heart Dog. She wrote it to help others through their grief. Her name is Roxanne Hawn. So sorry about the loss of your dear friend.

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      • Leslie, I actually purchased that book off of amazon the day after my dog passed on!! Not surprising we are all connected. Wow.

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    • This resonates with me. My relationship anxiety has spiralled once again after the loss of my 20 year old cat who became my surrogate baby. I’ve almost destroyed my relationship and blabbed to all & sundry that I’ve always doubted my feelings for my husband.

      Reply
  3. Hi, I’ve been with my partner for six years, and I have always had this nagging thought that I don’t love him, it’s become so convincing I can’t seem to even see him clearly…what would you recommend in this situation? It’s an awful feeling considering two weeks ago I was full of love and my life was changing with him for the better. Any advice would be wonderful.

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  4. Hi Sheryl, thank you for your post.
    Just to bring to your attention- normally on the email I receive, there is a ‘read more’ hyperlink. That hyperlink is missing from today’s blog post email (meaning that I had to access the blog post via the website). Not sure if this is intentional.
    Claire x

    Reply
    • Thank you, Claire. It’s been corrected. Still working out the glitches for the new site ;).

      Reply
  5. Hi Sheryl,

    My question would be around repulsion or attraction in the first date/ early dating phase – how do you know what is worth pursuing / when to call it a day. Because from what I’m reading a lot of this is about growing attraction after that initial honey moon phase.

    Reply
    • Many people don’t have a honeymoon phase and feel repulsion from the first date, yet they can absolutely grow love and attraction with they learn the right tools.

      Reply
      • This is very encouraging Sheryl and I really hope that is the case with me. I met a wonderful woman three months ago and we’re so compatible in so many different ways its crazy. I haven’t met someone quite like her before. In a single phrase the best way I can describe her is that she just radiates goodness. The only thing holding me back I feel is that I’m not always as attracted to her as I’d like to be (and this began on the first date). I have moments, brief but sooo very comforting, where I look at her and think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, and moments where I look at her and (shamefully) think that she is ugly or repulsive to me, and then those negative thoughts cause so much fear and anxiety in me sometimes I can’t eat or sleep because I’m so afraid of having to leave her (and I think deep in my heart I know that I would regret that almost immediately). All I want to do is always look at her in that loving way and not constantly put her appearance under the microscope. And I really hope that can happen.

        I’m going through the relationship anxiety course now and its been very helpful so far. Learning about projection was a very big “Ah ha!” moment for me, and for the next week or so after I did that lecture I was able to control those thoughts about her appearance much easier. However, they’ve been cropping back up again and I’m afraid I’ll never be able to shake them again like I had done before.

        I decided to sign up for the Open Your Heart course as well. Because I really believe I can make this relationship work if I can just fix my thinking and grow my attraction, its the only thing missing here. But my greatest worries are 1. That this is too new of a relationship for me to really be able to put the material both in Break Free and Open Your Heart to its full value and 2. That the issue of attraction will be so much more harder to overcome as a man that I won’t be able to do it (this is honestly my biggest spike. I would do anything to always look at her with love and desire the way I think she deserves).

        Is there any quick words of advice or encouragement you might be able to give me as I struggle through this and anxiously wait for Open Your Heart to begin? 🙂

        Reply
        • Your two fears are classic lines from the resistant part of that doesn’t believe you can grow and that it “shouldn’t be this hard.” Name that voice as resistance and keep moving forward. If you haven’t done so already, please read through the Attraction Sampler on this page:

          https://conscious-transitions.com/free-offerings/

          I look forward to seeing you on the course and helping you continue to break through your anxiety.

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          • Thanks Sheryl! I’m going to do just that. I do feel like I’m making progress, even if there’s stumbles along the way.

            I really hope I can break through!

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  6. I moved from my country to my husband country.. And I found a job recently, but tonight my husband he has thought that what if he want to work abroad n leave me here because I have a job. N he said it would be good to be alone
    From there im so heartbroken
    Im so confused, sad
    If its only his own intrusive thought and I took it personally or he really couldnt let go of his single life

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  7. With all the work I’ve done I know I’m not going anywhere but I still have the urge to ask:
    If it’s not fear, do you need to go?
    My heart can now see pass the externals but I owe it mainly to understanding attraction to essence and connection.
    Still haven’t figured out what else is underneath.

    Reply
    • Since I know your story quite well, and especially where you currently are with your massage transition underfoot, I’m going to ask you to answer your question from your own loving and wise parent. What would she say?

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      • Thanks Sheryl.

        She would say that I am going through a major transition and my ego will grab any opportunity to make me spiral, especially now that’s particularly anxious and hypervigilant.

        The message is to grow love and shrink fear, hence why you learn to see beyond the externals. For some people might be rooted in fear of loss, for me a combination of factors. It may be simply fear of making a mistake when choosing a partner for life. Trying to find answers will only make me feel more anxious especially if it is to satisfy the needs of my ego. Love is choice and action and I chose him from day one despite the projection. That part of me that chose love, can deal with uncertainty, can see beyond the externals and “isn’t my black and white ego mind”.

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        • Beautiful. Yes. How did it feel to write that?

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          • A lot more grounded. Heart opened.
            Thank you Sheryl.

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            • Wonderful ;). It’s amazing what happens when we remember to show up with our own wisdom. It’s in there!

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              • 🙂 totally 🙂

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  8. Absolutely beautiful post Sheryl!
    I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. I found this blog back in 2014 I was about 20 years old living in the UK with new girlfriend living in the USA. We met online and things were going great but my mental health flipped me upside down and my head filled with doubt and all the nagging intrusive thoughts you can possibly imagine. I remember physically sick it bothered me so much. Deep down I knew this girl was incredible in every way possible but of course knowing that isn’t enough to shake those thoughts off. It was absolutely terrifying and my lovely lady lived 4000 miles away which made things even worse. But thankfully like most of us do through an obsessive google search I stumbled upon Sheryl’s blog which completely flipped my idea of love upside down. I honestly can’t put into words how greatful I am for that night. Fast forward to 2019 I live in the USA with my wonderful Woman and I can confidently say I’m happily married. Is everything perfect? Absolutely not and that’s 110% ok. It’s always going to be ok that way. What’s most important is I had a choice. Do I let fear hold me back from something incredible? Or do I take fear with me on this plane and say “Yes this is scary, I’m going to do it anyway”

    it’s safe to say I made the right choice.

    For those of you who are lost, alone and bewildered. There is light at the end of that overgrown Forrest. Believe me I’ve seen it.

    And, lastly. Long distance relationships can 100% work. No matter how hard it gets. Just put fear in the passenger seat and get yourself out there.

    Tom

    Reply
    • Beautiful and inspiring, Tom. Thank you so much for coming back to share your experience as these kinds of comments are lifelines for those still in the trenches of relationship anxiety.

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      • No problem at all Sheryl. I know how much I used to appreciate seeing other people post like that to give me hope. So I feel obligated to give that back to this amazing community. Also I love the new design on the blog! It looks fantastic!

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        • Tom did you ever suffer from severe anxiety (fight/flight)? I keep shaking, cant sleep & have very little appetite.

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    • Hi Tom,

      I’m American and my boyfriend is English. We’ve been together for over four years, with 1.5 years of long-distance. Any advice for the never-ending relationship doubt? I feel the LD takes the doubt to a whole new level! It’s so hard to ground myself when I don’t see my partner often.

      Reply
  9. Great encouragement, Tom! And so true about the long distance – it IS possible (been there, done that, also happily married now).

    Reply
    • Thank you so much! Yes! I’m so happy for you that’s incredible. It’s always good to hear other people making it through the rollercoaster of LDR ?

      Reply
  10. Sheryl your blogs have helped me get through my relationship. Me and my now husband were great until I got prego and then everything changed. I became so hypervigilant when it came to him I couldn’t stand too look at him. It would come and go and i would Google to be get reassurance and thats when i found your blog. My intursive thoughts got so bad i just wanted to leave and all i would do is cry. It continued after i had the baby and i sat my now husband down and told him that i wasn’t attracted to him no more and i didnt know what happened and thats when he told me i needed to go see a therapist. Which I did and was diagnosed with OCD intrusive thoughts. And then 7 months afree giving birth i was pregnant again. The intursive thoughts about my now husband got so bad i thought about walking in front of a car just to get relief . It was horrible because the relief i used to get was gone its like i couldnt see the man that i fell in love with all I seen were his flaws and i felt stuck until I got on meds and then I was able to get past my thoughts and see him for maybe a couple days and then I’ll get stuck again. When i get stuck in the projects of not being attracted to him I have to come to your web site and refresh my memory about projecting or else I will believe what my ego is telling me.

    Reply
    • Jennifer: My blog can help correct cognitive distortions around love and offer basic guidance around working with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, but for the deep dive work that will help you break free from the relationship anxiety I highly recommend my course. With two babies in the mix that stakes are even higher, and as such I urge you to commit to your healing so that you can understand and attend to your anxiety at the root, which is what the course teaches:

      https://conscious-transitions.com/break-free-from-relationship-anxiety-e-course/

      Reply
      • Thanks Sheryl i just talk to my husband about your course and he thinks it’s a great idea so hopefully I will be able to taken advantage of the opportunity soon. I do believe that with your course and therapy i will be able to get through this .

        Reply
  11. I began following Sheryl’s work nearly four years ago. I found her in the midst of excruciating fear around my relationship and life. I hardly knew myself and certainly forgot all my passion for living. I am in a much better place now after fighting tooth and nail with anxiety for quite some time. I turn to fear and call it fear. When it’s overwhelming and it is telling me to leave my loving relationship, I sit back and ask, “What do I need?” Generally it’s a long good walk and a step back into a state of gratitude. Sometimes it’s falling asleep. I just moved in with my long distance boyfriend of over a year and although we’ve had our moments, I fall in love with him more every day. It’s the small moments I noticed now. How he never shames me when I am feeling anxious, how he smiles at me when I ask him if I’m too much and he says never, my little barnacle. Sometimes when I’m in the midst of relationship anxiety and I finally let down and cry, I realize it’s not that I don’t love him, it’s that I love him so much. And the thoughts that I am not attracted to him drift away. It’s pretty amazing being able to crack to the other side. There were times when I never thought I would ever make it back to love. And yet, I’m here. Sending strength.

    Reply
    • And when I say fighting tooth and nail, I actually mean finding the gentleness. I did do my share of fighting and it didn’t work. I had to address the bully in my head and wonder about him. Wonder why he felt the need to protect me with every breath of his body and ask him why he felt the need to cause me so much pain. He was immeasurably sad. It was his way of being strong, but I had to ask him to become something else because he was no longer serving me or my life.

      Reply
      • Thank you so much for sharing this, Kelli, and I especially love the last part about how you worked with the bully. When you asked him to become something else, what did he transform into?

        Reply
  12. Sheryl my doubts about my feelings got much worse after losing both my parents. Since losing my mum I’ve had 2 breakdowns, feel I’ve lived a lie & am suffering from constant fight & flight. I’ve even started thinking that suicide is the only way out now.

    Reply
    • Lynne: I’m so sorry you’re suffering so deeply. Suicide is not the answer; it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. What I’m hearing is a lifetime of grief that is surfacing and it needs your attention, alongside a loving and skilled guide. You’re still seeing your therapist, yes? Can you reach out for extra support? Please read this article, and if you’re in immediate crisis please call the numbers at the bottom:

      https://conscious-transitions.com/deciphering-suicide/

      Reply
      • I am seeking help but the fight/flight is out of control. I cannot sleep despite medication & feel guilty about everything.

        Reply
        • This is the 4th time in my life I’ve had a serious mental blip. I’ve taken antedepressants for about 18 years.

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          • What helped you through in the past?

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            • Sticking with my partner (now husband) but I feel that as we are getting older I’d run out on him if he got ill & that makes me think I def dont love him. I feel as if I’ve always avoided responsibility, am mentally immature (even tho I’m in my 50’s) & am incapable of love. Other people just say they know when they love someone so why dont I?

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              • ps and having a cat I thought of as a child.

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      • Looking through other posts I saw someone elses comment about how grief can trigger RA. Its a year ago this month that we’d to euthanase our 20 year old cat who became my furbaby and I retired early from work.

        Reply
        • Grief can absolutely trigger relationship anxiety. Are you attending to your grief daily and with your therapist?

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          • I can’t feel grief anymore cos the RA has taken me over & is all I think about now. We took in a stray cat within months of losing my beloved cat & now I regret that too but my husband has really taken to him. I loved my 20 year old cat more than anyone in my entire life & that now makes me feel sick inside.

            Reply
            • It’s the grief that’s inside the anxiety. Are you able to take the Break Free course, Lynn? It would help you immensely.

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              • If I don’t I’m going to end up ending our relationship & god only knows where I’ll end up.

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                • What’s holding you back from taking it?

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                  • Fear I’ll discover I really dont love him & never have

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  13. I am so grateful for your work, Sheryl. It has been a huge blessing to me!!! I discovered it when I was dating my now fiance. I’ve made great strides because of your course, and have worked through a lot of fear and lies. But within the past week, I’ve been thrown into the pit of despair. I took him home to my family and we were miserable. We both felt completely unseen, unknown, unloved. I felt shutdown and so did he. My dad even told me at the end of the weekend that it doesn’t seem like I’m happy, and to not feel pressure to marry him. My question is, if I keep asking the same questions “why don’t we connect?” “how come I don’t get him and he doesn’t get me?” or even the rage I feel that he doesn’t laugh with me, or charm me, the way that I’ve had in the past…how do I know I’m not settling? Can laughter grow? Can the way he relates to me grow? I’ve always dreamed of having a man that was just comfortable to be around and to laugh and be ridiculous…but he’s just awkward and so disconnected from me sometimes. It’s painful. I’m about 6 months from my wedding and I’m having severe doubts. I’ll also post something similar to this on the forum :). Thank you!

    Reply
    • Laughter can absolutely grow! When I talk about growing attraction what I really mean is growing into all of the ways that we can deeply connect, which includes laughter and sexuality. As we learn to soften our fear-walls, we open to more fluidity and true attraction. And going home to family will always throw us back into our younger selves and ignite self-doubt like nothing else. Go through the course again and pay particular attention to the section on intrusive thoughts, then make sure that you’re committing to the daily practices, especially journaling.

      Reply
  14. Hello Sheryl!

    My name is Emily, and I would love to chat with you in private, a little about my story and get to know if this course would be right for me to begin this crazy journey I’m going through right now.

    Thank you so much! Much love

    Reply
  15. Hi Sheryl, this is my first time posting as I only came across your website a few weeks ago. I also only recently discovered that ROCD is even a thing! So all new to me and finding it so helpful so far as I read through your articles.
    I am interested in your courses but not sure which one I should start with… was hoping maybe you could offer some advice on what I should start doing as I feel a bit lost.
    I had rocd a few years ago with my ex (but no idea I had OCD or anxiety, just thought it was all true) and I recently had it come back with full force. I met a guy who was great and on the third date be asked me to be his girlfriend and from then on my anxiety was through the roof as to whether I liked him, would hurt him etc. But something kept me from ending things as he is honestly amazing and I never thought someone could treat me this well. I have moments where I don’t feel anxious (it just magically disappears) and I have so much attraction and love towards him but more often than not I don’t feel this, I feel like I don’t like him, that we should break up, I don’t look forward to seeing him, I feel like I don’t miss him (even though I see him a lot), I question if I find him attractive etc. But I want nothing more than to have the same love and desire that he feels for me toward him!! Fast forward 4 months, we’re still together, I have sought some therapy which was mildly useful and been practicing meditation and on medication and my anxiety has lessened which makes me believe that maybe it’s not rocd and this is my true feelings. This sets me off again.
    Help!!
    Which course (if any) do you think could help me? I just want to be able to overcome my anxiety and feel the love that I have always wished for.

    Reply
    • Welcome to my site, Caroline, and based on what you shared you’re suffering from classic relationship anxiety. As such, if you want to break through it from the root so that you don’t keep repeating this pattern, the Break Free From Relationship Anxiety course is for you. The meditation and therapy can help, but until you have the proper information, tools, and support, you will keep spinning in the same circle. You can learn more here:

      https://conscious-transitions.com/break-free-from-relationship-anxiety-e-course/

      Reply
      • Thank you so much.
        I will be saving up and joining the course asap!
        Apologies for my second message below as well.

        Reply
    • Hi Caroline,
      Your story sounds identical to mine. I broke up with my ex due to relationship anxiety (never realised at the time that’s what it was) I still think of her but fast forward three years and with someone new but the anxiety has been there from the first date.
      However I certainly want it to work with her. Like you I have the moments of attraction and love – they keep me going however slight. We are so well suited and I hope it all works out for us. I am also in therapy for childhood issues which I feel is the root cause and have signed up to relationship anxiety course here. Best wishes to you.

      Reply
  16. Hi Sherly,

    I left a comment earlier this morning but cannot see it on the post so I am thinking it did not work. I would really appreciate some advice if possible on whether you feel one of your courses would be valuable to me. Thanks!

    Reply
  17. Hi Sheryl,

    I was wondering what you mean exactly by finding someone with a sense of home? Is it safety?

    Reply
    • Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.

      Reply

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