It is with great love, admiration, and appreciation that I’m sharing this beautiful post by Sarah Love, one of our moderators on the Break Free From Relationship Anxiety/Conscious Weddings E-Course forum, who is now in the last days of her first pregnancy. Over the last six years, Sarah has journeyed through the darkest night anyone can walk through and has emerged with the jewels of wisdom that are reflected in this post. I can attest that she has followed her own words as she has mindfully and gracefully walked through the nine months of pregnancy, trusting in the guidance of nature to usher her through her own transition.
As we heal and connect to our inner column of strength, we all must find our anchor points, the places where we can ripple back into ourselves and tap into the flow of faith that informs our lives. For Sarah, one of those anchor points is nature. As you read her words born from her wrestling match with all of the same forces that afflict many of you – resistance, self-doubt, anxiety (including relationship anxiety), grief, loss, confusion, disorientation, loss of direction – consider what those anchor points may be for you.
Nature as Guide: By Sarah Love
Over the years, as I have continued to traverse through more and more transitions, I’ve found the one thing that always works to bring me back to center: Nature. While there are other resources that bring me relief and peace and guidance, nothing speaks directly to my soul the way Nature does. When I’m lost in the storms of change I can rest in the arms of Mother Earth, knowing she’s supporting me, my lighthouse in the hurricane, always with a sense that whatever is happening is happening just as it should, as it must.
When I’m stuck in a place, whether it’s a place of confusion or grief or despair, when I can eventually drop the story and connect with Nature’s energy I’m able to grasp something much bigger than whatever is happening in my tiny bubble. I can see, almost viscerally feel, that the strife and pain and hurt are just a part of the package. There’s a sense that yes, life is difficult, yet so, so beautiful in it’s challenges all at once. This is what I hear, “Look what we go through in order to survive, to thrive. Look beyond the stuff of the human world and watch the trees moving in the wind, recognizing that some have become casualties to a force stronger than their roots. Look how green the grass is after a good rain.” The beauty and the pain hold hands.
Lately I’ve been pondering Nature and all its wisdom. What has bubbled up are these 5 teachings that have been helpful little reminders:
1. The wind is no compass (we can’t follow our feelings)
*If we were to use the wind as a compass we’d be lost who-knows-where. The wind can’t guide us; it can inform us of what’s happening on the planet, in our worlds. The wind helps us know what’s going on, but it’s always changing. The wind (our feelings) provides information, but the wind (our feelings) will never be a reliable compass.
2. The weather is all over the place during seasons of transitions (change is messy)
*Transitions are messy. When winter shifts to spring, one day it’s warm, the next it’s snowing. Some days consist of rain, then snow, then it’s suddenly sunny and then warmer at night than it was in the afternoon. The weather is messy, and we expect it to be. This is true for our inner transitions, too, and we need to expect the same mess that we tolerate (however begrudgingly) with the weather. Some days are going to be better than others and some are going to a whole complicated mess. Such is the nature of transition, of life. When we can see it for what it is – that things are just shifting and recalibrating – we can soften to the experience and allow change to happen.
3. A frozen ground thaws (our hearts naturally open after closing)
*The Earth freezes because the Earth freezes; it’s just what happens. But when it does eventually thaw, as it always will in time and with patience, we find life. Flowers bloom, insects and earth creatures make their way through the soil. The same is true with our hearts. We go through periods of being frozen, closed. But when we eventually thaw and reopen, we find what comes out is what’s been there all along, just waiting.
4. Change is happening, even when we can’t see it (trust the process)
*When flower bulbs are planted, the Earth is different than it was before the addition of the bulbs. Something has been added, and yet there are no visible signs of change on the surface. Before it even reaches the light of day, the seed breaks open, moving toward the sun until it eventually breaks ground. This is how it works for us, too, when our inner landscapes are changing. Seeds (little inklings of new thought patterns, beliefs, habits, etc.) are planted deep into our psyche. Nothing on the outside is different, yet there’s something new present, something that wasn’t there before. In time, what’s been planted will grow. What’s been present for much longer in the deeper, hidden layers will bloom on the surface.
5. Dress for the weather (wishing for things to be different than they are is what creates suffering, not the situation itself)
*Fighting against what we can’t change creates suffering. So often people wish for heat when it’s snowing, wish for sun when it’s raining. We complain. Moan and groan about how we want things to be different. Yet all the complaining in the world won’t part the clouds. All it’s good for us making us miserable. The weather will do what it does; it’s how we adapt that makes all the difference. The same is true for our inner worlds. When something is off inside we can either try to will it away or put on our metaphorical raincoat and welcome the downpour, maybe even, eventually, dancing in the rain. Instead of willing our thoughts and feelings away we learn to be with them, trusting that, like any weather system, our moods will eventually shift. Misery is born from fighting what is.
To know that life, Mother Earth, is supporting us no matter what, that She goes through much of the same as we do, I hope provides some relief. She’s not always the most gentle in her teachings (hurricanes, tornadoes, etc), but she’s always wise. It’s easy to feel lost in this crazy world, but when we can find that ever-present wisdom available to us at any moment, we can rest knowing we’re not doing this thing called life all alone. For me it’s Nature, for you it might be something different. Either way, this wisdom that lives within and around you is probably much closer to the surface than you might believe.
And this is the blog post she wrote in the last days of her pregnancy as she was descending fearlessly into the heart of her own rich darkness:
And if you’re pregnant or in the first year of motherhood and would like to walk through your transition with consciousness and grace, consider my Birthing a New Mother Home Study Program.