Paulina Galiardi: “One Day He’ll Move Out” and “Scapegoat”

by | May 11, 2023 | The Community Garden | 20 comments

I have been thinking a lot about you all lately: how I can better connect, what I would like to offer next, and different ways to utilize this space.

There are some things I know: less screens; more contact in person. Less teaching; more sharing. Less general; more personal. Less literal; more metaphor. Less text; more poetry and song. Less me; more you.

As I’ve been musing on the next incarnation of my work, an idea sprung to mind of having a section on my website called “The Community Garden” where I would invite YOU incredibly creative, innovative, beautiful people to share your own creative expressions.

I am often blown away by the creativity that I witness on my forums, and quite often a member of this community will send me an email that contains a song or poem or drawing that touches my heart deeply. This is what happened a few days ago when Paulina, a beloved, long-time member of this community, sent me an email in which she shared:

“Thank you for helping me get in touch with all my grief and sensitivity, which is always there but which I have a habit of running from. When I read your blogs about your son leaving home I am reminded that there is safety, healing and connection when I turn towards and tend to it. I turned it into a song: “One Day He’ll Move Out”.”

With her permission, I’m sharing it here: the first flower in our Community Garden.

 

And for those of you who struggle with difficult family dynamics where the message is that the problem is always you, this poignant and brave song is for you. As Paulina writes about the song:

“I hope the Scapegoat song can be a light in the darkness that is living in this dynamic wherein a whole group of people see you as “the problem” and there’s not a thing you can do to change their minds. This topic is super close to my heart and my experience and I look forward to writing more songs about it! People who have this kind of family or mother “get it” and it can be so affirming and comforting to hear a song that perfectly encapsulates your experience.”

 

Paulina has many more beautiful songs that emerge from her sensitive heart. You can listen/watch here.

And one more “plant” to add to the Community Garden. This is a video I created from the poem, Brave Spring, that I shared in last Sunday’s email:

The Community Garden

If you have something that you would like to share in this space – a song, a poem, a drawing, a photograph, a short film – please let me know. I might not be able to share everyone’s expressions – there are a lot of you – but I’m excited to offer a space where you can offer your soul-selves in this way.

Please note: This is not a place to market your business wares, but rather a place to share vulnerably from your creative self with the intention of touching others’ hearts. As Paulina so beautifully wrote when I asked for permission to share her songs:

I would be so honored if you shared my song. I’m creating songs a lot these days and hoping I can find a way to reach the people who would benefit and be touched or soothed by them in the way it does for me when I write them.

Let’s create this beautiful, kind, life-affirming, colorful, accepting garden together! Let’s lift each other up above the anxiety into the place of creativity. May The Community Garden be a place to share your soul safely, channel the sensitivity that lives at the core of anxiety into creativity, and touch others in this very special community.

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20 Comments

  1. Oh my. “One far he’ll move out”totally broke me. Thank you so much for sharing your talent and heart with us. I have 7yo twin boys – they are unique, incredible, special little souls, but very very hard work at times. I spend way too much time in exhausted exasperation. Your song was a reminder to not dwell on the daily challenges, but to give attention to their gorgeous, youthful, loving spirits during this short window that I have them with me everyday. Thank you thank you thank you.

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  2. Hi. How do you share to the community garden?

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    • Good question. Email me using the Contact form above!

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  3. Thank you so much to Paulina for sharing. It’s vulnerable and brave sharing our creative expressions, and as the receiver, it’s really comforting to see your experiences and feelings reflected back to you. Such touching and beautiful creations. The scapegoat song was totally genius and I believe would resonate with so many of us in this community. ❤️

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    • Oh! I love this idea so much and hope that, at some point, I’ll be able to contribute.

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  4. Thank you Paulina so much for sharing. For me this song resonates in a special way. It’s kinda reminder that we have to value and embrace the precious and much too often short time we do have with our children. My son was five years old when my relationship to his mother deteriorated and we finally broke up and got divorced. I moved to not a so far distant new house. The day I had to tell him that daddy is not going to live together with the family anymore was heartbreaking for both of us. At that day I told him that we will be connected to each other in a very unusual but special way, like a wonderful rainbow is bridging the gap between us. This metaphor helped a lot and we both have and had a great relationship (he’s 27 now). It gives some comfort but still is hurting and I hope this wound will heal someday. But every time I have to think of this particular day my tears run like a waterfall. Anyway, the planting of a tree shows faith in the future.

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  5. Beautiful, and so relatable, Paulina! Thank you so much for sharing your creative expressions with us. ❤️

    I love this idea, Sheryl. Looking forward to more shares from the community!

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    • There are so many beautiful shares coming in. I can’t wait to share them!

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  6. Beautiful – thank you, Sheryl and Paulina. 🥰

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  7. Thank you, all, for your beautifully supportive comments and reflections for Paulina. She’ll be on here later today to take in the goodness of your words :). I’m very excited to hear from more of you and share your creations in this space. If you would like to share something, either email me directly (if you have my email) or use the Contact from above.

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  8. Sheryl-thank you so much for this post and the links to your previous posts about MD. It is helpful to understand better all of the complicated feelings this day brings up for me. So much that I feel grateful for including my son and my own mother, as well as pain and grief for past losses and things that have not gone as planned on this motherhood journey.

    In gratitude,
    Dani

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    • Beautiful, Dani. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and gratitude here. ❤️🙏🏽

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  9. Scapegoat–wow!!

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  10. Thank you so much Paulina! It takes such courage to share our creative side, so I’m very grateful that you’re paving the way for others to do the same <3

    Sheryl, I love the idea of spring as brave – what a beautiful way of looking at it, and a wonderful metaphor for navigating life in difficult times.

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  11. I love, love, love this SO much, Sheryl! And Paulina: What a beautiful offering. Thank you for so bravely putting it into the world.

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  12. Pauline, “a light in the darkness that is living in this dynamic wherein a whole group of people see you as ‘the problem’ and there’s not a thing you can do to change their minds,” is so perfectly stated. I don’t necessarily have this problem in my family dynamics but I do in so many other places now because I carry labels associated with the “unattractive” and “unacceptable” “mental illnesses.” Mine are directly linked to TBI’s so it is much easier to see and understand the discrimination associated.
    But alas I cannot diagnosis myself or offer medical intervention on my behalf, nor could I be responsible for misdiagnosis or for the neuropsychologist that diagnosed mania to be a form of romantic transference and countertransference. Going through a medical and psychological malpractice situation is a very dark time and far too often the patient is made to be wrong for it by many groups of people when they were the most vulnerable victim.
    Pauline, I am sorry for the lived experiences you must have had to lead to this song, but thank you for using them to help others and for sharing.
    Sheryl, I am new to your content, but thank you and this community garden is a beautiful idea. I hope someday I might be a contributor.

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    • Welcome to this community, Erica. I’m glad you found your way here.

      Reply

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