One of the most common questions I’m asked by people in committed relationships who are struggling with anxiety is: What if I’m just convincing myself to stay? What if he’s a great guy or girl but I just don’t really love him? It’s a valid question, and here’s my answer:
Yes, it’s possible to convince yourself to stay with someone because they’re a great person. The question to ask is: How do you feel about him/around him/toward him when your heart is open and you’re not in an anxious state? That’s the baseline barometer; anything else is what happens when fear is in the driver’s seat. Fear is VERY convincing. It can tell you that you don’t really love him. It can tell you that you’re just convincing yourself. It feeds you culturally sanctioned lines like you should just know and that if you have to work this hard, it’s … Click here to continue reading...
