The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make in Relationships and...

For this week’s blog post, I’m directing you to two articles that I recently wrote for MindBodyGreen, one on relationships and one on parenting. Here are the excerpts:

The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make in Relationships

Over the nearly two decades that I’ve walked people through the tricky terrain of intimate relationships, I’ve seen the same three stumbling blocks arise repeatedly. If one person in a partnership falls prey to the stumbling block, the relationship usually ends with time. But if the stumbling blocks are met with the awareness that they’re an essential part of the journey of learning how to love, the relationship will not only remain alive but will be well on the way to thrive.

You see, the problem isn’t the stumbling blocks themselves. Blocks arise so that you can push through them and create a stronger relationship both to yourself and your partner. The problem is that if you believe that relationships are supposed to be effortless, you’ll run at the first sign of challenge, which usually arises when the infatuation stage wears off (as it always will). The flaw in this thinking is failing to realize that there’s a purpose to the challenge; it’s how you grow. You can keep running from the challenges, but you’ll be running for the rest of your life. Click here to read more…

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The Hottest Commodity Between New Parents (no, it’s not sex)

Prior to having children, couples argue about a variety of different topics: sex, money, family, driving directions. But since both people are the managers of their own days and nights, the topic of time rarely arises. If there’s a free evening, you can do whatever you want. If you want to go to the gym at 11 a.m. on a Sunday, you go to the gym. If you want to see a friend for lunch in the middle of the week, you see a friend.

All of that changes when a baby arrives on the scene. Suddenly, you find yourself asking your partner if you can take an hour on the weekend to exercise. You have to ask permission to see a friend for dinner or stay out late one evening. Since someone needs to be with the baby at all times, you are no longer in charge of your time—your baby is. And you’re watching each other’s free windows like hawks, tallying and scorekeeping and doing all of the things you know you’re not supposed to do in marriage. Time, and the allotment of it, becomes the hottest commodity between new parents—and also the greatest sore spot where resentment can fester. Click here to keep reading…

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