Rest is good
AND
we are meant to move.
Rest is important
AND
we are meant to work.
Rest is essential
AND
we are meant to be productive.
Rest is delicious
AND
we are meant to be active.
There’s been a lot going on in the world these last several years. Humans have been tired and we’ve longed for rest, but lately I’ve been wondering if the pendulum has swung too far in the direction of rest.
The fact is that humans are meant to be active. We’re meant to move in healthy ways, we’re meant to work, to contribute, to be productive. This isn’t the only thing we’re meant to do, and our worthiness isn’t dependent on our productivity, but true well-being depends on being a contributing, active member of society in meaningful ways.
One root cause of anxiety and OCD is stagnancy. When we stop moving, stop creating, stop generating, stop connecting with the world outside our heads and homes, we stagnate. And when we stagnate, there’s a build-up of energy that has to go somewhere. If you’re wired for anxiety and/or OCD, that’s where it will go.
Getting into Real Life
One way to move energy from stagnancy to flow is to get back IRL (in real life). In this week’s Gathering Gold episode, Victoria and I discuss how to ensure that we are still living in real life, using our devices as tools to help us engage more deeply with the world, not as substitutes for living. We also discuss some of the blocks and obstacles to disentangling our attention from our screens and living our values through intentional action: discomfort, awkwardness, fear, and being out of practice, to name a few.
Our relationship with screens, digital devices, and online media is complicated. On the one hand, we can gain so much valuable information and connection in a way that is more accessible to more people. On the other hand, we can get sucked in a vortex of information overload, analysis paralysis, social comparison, and doom scrolling.
Whether planting a seed in a pot, having a courageous conversation with a loved one, or visiting a new city, there are so many ways to disentangle our attention from online media long enough to try something new, move some energy, and see what happens.
What do you notice about the relationship between stagnancy, anxiety/OCD, and living IRL?
Additionally, what do you notice about the relationship between anxiety/OCD and creativity?
I feel so much right now. I’ve left two jobs this year that were detrimental to my health, and now feel so lost and confused. Its hard to be a sensitive/creative/empath at work sometimes.
It may not look like it now, but you will find order in this messiness. Everything eventually turns out how it’s meant to be. It’s all part of your experience here, it’s okay to be lost. You’ll be okay! Welcome this experience and know that it’s rare not to be lost. We all are a bit. I hope you feel better!
I know that was meant for Bb, but I feel like they do, and your comment was such amazing comfort to me in this time. Thank you so much for these crucial reminders and encouragement.
Sofia: Thank you for your wise and supportive comment. I agree that many people are feeling a bit lost right now. I think it has to do with the multiple global transitions that we’re in. We’re all doing the best we can in this liminal time as old paradigms crumble and new ones are yet to be born. It helps enormously to turn to each other for comfort and support!
Thank you all for your kind comments x
Bb: Yes, it’s very, very challenging to be a sensitive-creative-empath in certain jobs, especially corporate America. I hope that’s changing with things like the 4 day work week and more flexible schedules, but we have a long way to go. We need to work, but it must be meaningful work that aligns with our rhythms and passions, and that’s not always easy to find.
This is beautiful and so timely. I feel that most of my life I have been forcing myself into the wrong kind of work, which felt draining and made me crave escape through outside excitement or rumination. As I take more risks in my career in my 30s, I’ve noticed that my relationship anxiety has decreased and I feel more like myself. Though not for everyone, I’ve also found books on esoteric systems like human design to be very beneficial in learning to honor mine and others’ unique needs and break inner shame cycles that block my productivity.
This is so good to read, Molly. It can take time to find our way to work that is aligned and nourishing, but when we do it’s life-changing. Reading is also one of the best ways to keep our minds active!
Timely as always!!!
Only two days ago I notice a desire to pick a new sport or physical activity as I believe it would make me feel more alive. I don’t know your thoughts on this, but I think lately we’ve been absorbing so much about mental health (which is great), and lots of it comes with the message of “rest more”, that maybe we got a little confused (by not being able to discern what rest means to each individual, and to what proportiob). I know I get confused with these messages all the time.
May real life embrace us all!!!
Thanks, Sheryl!
Yes that’s exactly what I’m referring to: we hear a lot about rest, which is wonderful, but sometimes it can go overboard and lead to inaction and lethargy. Everyone has their own rhythm, and it’s important that we tune into our rhythm regarding our needs for action and rest, doing and being. Also, action doesn’t necessarily mean working more or exercising more. It can mean starting a creative project at home, learning something new, seeing a friend, etc. We talk about this more in depth in the podcast :).
Thanks for this post. Ever since experiencing long Covid, I’ve noticed that the emphasis for me has been on my day job, and on resting. With my university suddenly losing funding, and giving short notice that they dissolved my position, I found rest initially desired. However now I’m leaning into a desire for action, and reevaluating how to approach a better balance of incorporating creative projects and experimenting with long Covid friendly exercise.
To answer your question, RA interacts with stagnancy (or, in my case, just slowing down) insofar as sometimes it’s the case of something needing to fill the vacuum of space within my thoughts. I end up having a vast landscape of time for my ruminations to flourish, like Maria dancing in the Sound of Music, instead of only brief moments, more like sitting on a bench of anxiety.
Amidst the torrent (or steady trickle) of discouraging thoughts that have more space to enter in the plentitude of rest, I’m still navigating the difference between self trust and panic.
This is very well expressed and I’m certain quite relatable by many:
“RA interacts with stagnancy (or, in my case, just slowing down) insofar as sometimes it’s the case of something needing to fill the vacuum of space within my thoughts. I end up having a vast landscape of time for my ruminations to flourish, like Maria dancing in the Sound of Music, instead of only brief moments, more like sitting on a bench of anxiety.”
What does RA stand for?
Relationship Anxiety. Also known as ROCD.
This resonates so much right now! I’m a teacher in the UK and we are currently in the 6 week break. I struggle immensely with anxiety and ocd flare ups during this time because my routine and structure go out of the window! I almost feel pressure to “relax” but it’s hard to know how to do this without feeling stagnant!
Thank you for your words of wisdom!
Yes it’s a tricky balance between structure and rest!
When we take the unconscious into account, we can ask: ‘what is my OCD protecting me from?’ In my case, I’ve come to realise that it protects me from having to risk accessing my creativity. As long as I am caught up in irrelevant perseverations, I don’t need (or am not able) to put pen to paper. The real (unconscious) fear may be that my creative endeavours will end with failure, whatever that may look like. Because this might be too scary to look at directly, it gets masked by the conscious fear, which is the OCD. Behaviourally, the way forward is to be creative, regardless of how I happen to be feeling on a conscious level. The more I start to align myself with my creative endeavours, the more attuned I become to my values, and the more the obsessions slip away of their own accord. This takes time and practice. Years and years of it. Of course the obsessions pop up again on occasion, sometimes with great intensity, but the aim is not to lose sight of the creativity, of the values. This is a little different to approaches which advocate ‘facing the fear’ directly, since those approaches often don’t pay any heed to the real, albeit unconscious fears. I have found that if I remain at a surface level, I just remain stuck and frustrated. It might work for some; it doesn’t work for me. I hope this makes sense. [NB for those who are reading this, I am a writer by profession. I am aware that ‘creativity’ means different things to different people. I certainly count my marriage as a vitally creative endeavour!]
Yes, this makes perfect sense, Joshua. I love how you expressed this:
“The real (unconscious) fear may be that my creative endeavours will end with failure, whatever that may look like. Because this might be too scary to look at directly, it gets masked by the conscious fear, which is the OCD.”
Fellow writer (& also a singer) here and thank you so much for this post. I’ve been getting inklings that this is the way forward for me and feeling massive resistance to it, and your insights give me that push to go forward and commit to it. I truly believe my creative path is THE path for me. Everything block wise that needs to come up, comes up there. Then the layers pack on top of it.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Hi Morgan, really pleased you found my comment helpful. From my perspective, the more attuned I am with my creativity, the less my OCD/RA gains a foothold in my brain. But it comes in ebbs and flows. It’s not a smooth process.
Hi!
“One root cause of anxiety and OCD is stagnancy.” Yes! I think that is the same like Brian Tracy says in his classic self help book Maximum achievement, “we as humans/the human mind only feels good when we are moving/working towards a goal that is important to us”. I think the brain likes to know…direction. Yes, and movement! I read that book already in 1999 and I still think it is one of the best ones! Maybe it is a bit “masculine brain” type of a thing, to always go after a goal, results…but I kind of like it.
“If you’re wired for anxiety and/or OCD, that’s where it will go.” Yes, how true. I have noticed that aerobics, pilates etc. classes relieve anxiety attacks, just walking to the gym is already movement! By the way, I have noticed that coca-colas etc. cause me a tsunami of intrusive thoughts, such a horrible ones they cannot be repeated here. I would never consciously think such thoughts, they scare me! Sadly, I used to love the taste of coca-cola. The caffeine seems to be especially bad to me. When I quit that stuff…amazingly calm mind and thoughts!
But I do feel conflicted now. I am someone with a tendency to anxiety, pretty much daily. I almost cannot imagine being without anxiety 🙁 I’m like, aren’t everyone? As if it was normal, as a non-stop feeling. But this thing about stagnancy, I have noticed that I am someone who loves so called ordinary life. I love routines! Home, work, gym, walking the dog. It gives me feeling of safety, structure, calms the hyper active mind. Does routine life, life routines mean stagnancy?
We need a mixture of routine and novelty. Structure is very comforting and containing for humans, but it’s also good to do new things sometimes so that we push ourselves outside our comfort zone and keep growing.
This resonates so much! It links to me to the feeling of analysis paralysis too, like sometimes I get a sense of ‘I don’t know how to best use this empty time of the morning or the day’ and it feels stagnant and then I get thinky. Also it makes me think of action not as unhealthy distraction but as a way to move us out of thinking when we get super stuck – just doing something helps me SO much, even if it’s just walking around the garden paying attention, spending 15 minutes on my writing practice, tidying the kitchen. Action snaps me out and calms me and then I can feel feelings or journal or something to go deeper. It’s been helpful for me to realise this and not feel like I ‘should’ journal in the morning or if I am feeling rumination creeping in. I find if I do it in that state, I just fixate on the focus of the rumination. Snapping out of the rumination with action is so so key in terms of greater wellbeing. Thanks Sheryl ❤️
This is so wise and succinctly expressed, George. You said in one paragraph what took me an entire post to express 🥰.