This is the #1 Reason Why People are Terrified to Turn Inward

by | Aug 28, 2022 | 9-Month, Anxiety, Highly Sensitive Person, Relationships, Trust Yourself | 63 comments

As much as you want to change and heal, as much as you long to feel more fullness, aliveness, calm, and well-being, as much as you deeply desire a way to navigate life with more ease and less attachment to control, as much as you ache to break free from your intrusive thoughts… there is another part of you that resists the actions necessary to step into the helm of your inner ship and steer it toward healing. Why? Because they’re terrified to turn inward in case they discover the intrusive thought that has been barreling through their brain lately is actually true.

The #1 reason why people are terrified to turn inward is because they’re scared of what they’ll discover. 

One of the most effective tactics to dislodge this fear is to name it clearly. When we name fear’s lines and replace them with the truth, its power diminishes, and that slight weakening may be enough to step into the gap and make a different choice. The incredible irony is that quite often with fear, the truth is the diametric opposite of what fear is telling us! It’s literally the EXACT opposite, which makes it fairly easy to dismantle its lies. Here we go:

Fear says, “If you grow, you’ll lose your partner.” The truth is that if you grow, you’ll open more fully to love, which allows you to connect more deeply with your partner.

Fear says, “If you heal, you’ll realize that everything about your life is wrong and you’ll have to change it.” The truth is that when you heal, you learn to connect more deeply to gratitude, which allows you to accept and love the life you’re living.

Fear says, “If you connect to yourself, you’ll realize how disconnected you are from your partner.” The truth is that connecting to yourself is one of the primary keys that allows you to infuse connectivity into all of your relationships.

Fear says, “If I turn inward I’ll discover a horrible, dark secret about myself.” The truth is that when you turn inward you discover the hidden beauty of who you are in your essence.

Fear says, “If I commit to my inner work, I’ll discover that the intrusive thought that has been terrorizing me lately is true. The truth is that you already know the truth, and inner work helps you strengthen self-trust, which helps you anchor into what you know to be true about yourself more readily.

Here is the lifeline I can offer: When you turn inward and learn to address your resistance and feel your feelings, what you discover is YOU: beautiful, awake, loving, empathic, kind, conscientious you. The you that has been buried beneath your anxiety. The you that has been waiting to be picked up and held. The you that is as beautiful as wildflowers, as pure as light, as golden as sunshine, as poetic as moonlight. When you peel back the resistance and soften the fear-walls, you come closer to yourself, which only makes you closer to everyone around you, including life itself. What you discover is a place of expansiveness, which allows you to step more fully into your fullness (see Joyce’s words below as she shares about her journey from contraction to expansion).

If there is some part of you that is reaching out from the depths of your pain, I am reaching back. As I’ve shared in many posts, we’re not meant to heal alone, and when you know that there’s a group of loving and compassionate people who are on the ride with you, it’s so much easier to commit to the actions necessary for growth. As one member of my small phone groups that focus on relationship anxiety shared, “The reason I’ve been able to take this next step toward healing is because I know that the group is here every week. Even if I don’t share, I know that if I dip into scary territory, I’m being held in the safety net of the group. Without that knowledge, it wouldn’t have felt safe to keep moving forward.”

The key word here is safety. We can only take the next steps into growth when we feel safe. Safety is the pillow that allows us to open our hearts and feel the lifetime of denied and forgotten pain. Safety is the anchor that allows us to step onto the little boat that will carry us into the sea of our unconscious where our wisdom and guidance live. Safety is what allows us to step through the small crack that divides fear’s resistance and the deeper desire to step onto a path of growth. Safety is what allows us to heal shame.

My course, Break Free From Anxiety: A 9-Month Course on the Art of Living, is this safety net and the roadmap that will guide you into your next layer of growth. It doesn’t matter where you are on the labyrinth – at the beginning stages or years into your healing work – if you’re longing for more daily guidance, weekly support, and monthly wisdom to walk you through a deepening of your healing, I invite you to join us on this exciting and courageous journey, which begins on September 18th, 2022.

And this is what Joyce in Longhorne, PA, a member of the 2021-22 round of this course, discovered:

 

If you’re a fan of The Wisdom of Anxiety, the 9-month course Break Free From Anxiety (BFFA) is like its theme park—an immersive experience. Daily emails, MP3s, group calls, videos, online forums, small group video meet-ups—Sheryl gives you many ways to enter into the knowledge.

I came to BFFA contracted—wound up in my fears, having a hard time getting back into the world after COVID, and in deep need of more of the wisdom, not the tyranny, of anxiety. Sheryl’s daily emails and our small group meetings worked best for me.

I don’t know what compelled me to sign up for group meetings, but I’m glad I did. Sheryl put our group together (turns out she’s a good matchmaker, too). A wonderful group of 5 women, from 3 countries and 5 different time zones who set aside their lives twice a month to meet on Zoom…not to ‘fix’ each other but to listen and hold a safe space to speak. A lot happens in people’s lives in 9 months—root canals and termite infestations, COVID and house-hunting, chronic pain and the joy of buying a new piano. And through it all, we showed up, and talked about how the weekly lessons related to our day-to-day. We were imperfect, together. We laughed a lot.

How do I feel after 9 months of BFFA? In a word, expansive. I am more about ways of being, less about ‘how do I fix it?’ (my heart is open). I feel less alone and more supported (and found new support—from my dreams, and those who came before me/ spiritual realm). Yes, anxiety still visits, but is more of a curiosity than a tormentor. I don’t walk away cured, I walk away larger—able to hold space for all who sit at my table. 

And, good news, our group has decided to continue to meet beyond the course. Thank you, Sheryl

I hope to see you there :).

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63 Comments

  1. Ahhhhhh! I’m still so easily conned by fear. My mind feeds me those lines all the time and in the isolation of my own mind, it all seems so reasonable and plausible. Wonderful post, thank you. I love my weekly check-ins with CT. See you on the webinar! X

    Reply
    • It’s so easy to be conned by fear! See you soon :).

      Reply
    • Yes! This fear is exactly the one keeping me from seeking therapy when I was suffering depersonalisation as a teenager. Sending myself back then and all of you love.

      Reply
      • Funny how I want to change and anxiety says I don’t. My daughter has an eating disorder and in times of anxiety the eating disorder convinced her it is comforting. Anxiety sometimes does the same thing. Looking forward to starting the course

        Reply
        • I look forward to seeing you there :).

          Reply
    • What I don’t understand is, my whole life I thought of myself as highly emotionally intelligent, and someone who felt things deeply, and was deeply connected with life and my family, and the people I admire. I noticed I started having more anxious related thoughts a few months after surviving the Tubbs fire in 2017, and then after being in a 7.1 earthquake with repeated aftershocks and the scary (however untrue) possibility of an as big or worse earthquake, I started to disconnected. I was like “what the heck?” It scared me that I wasn’t feeling that connected. And then I started to have weird thoughts that were totally against my grain, and those haven’t let go since March of 2019. I work hard to try and not take them as truth, and I can tell they come from fear. They seem to be actively trying to push away people that mean a lot to me (except, oddly, my mother). I definitely feel that “what if I discover it’s true?” “What if I have to lose this person because I had bad thoughts about them?” “What if I can’t ever connect again and be the person I used to be?” “What could I possibly have to learn from this?” “How do I know what’s embedded in this thought?”

      Reply
      • Whoops, this was supposed to be own comment. I didn’t realize it was in reply to somebody else’s comment

        Reply
    • If I heal, then I will want to and have to leave my marriage. That is how I feel. I am afraid to do things in life, because then I will get the taste of another life and maybe fall in Love with someone else. I feel stuck. Not living. I feel like this site is lying to me: making me stay stuck. Well, at least it is safe…

      Reply
  2. Yes! The other scary thing about going through healing is the fear of ‘what if I can’t be healed’. It’s like I keep myself from engaging in it because I’m afraid if it doesn’t ‘work’ then there will be no hope!

    Reply
    • Ah yes! Another classic fear line that keeps people from engaging in their healing work. Thank you for adding it :).

      Reply
    • This is me! A very frustrating game that fear plays because it’s disguised as “intelligence” to me

      Reply
    • I was about to type this very thing until I read your comment! My ego says “nope, your fears are different. You won’t be able to be fixed. Everyone else can but yours are different.” Just like you, I’m afraid it won’t work and my ego will be proven right!

      Reply
      • Ugh same!!! It’s crazy how much the ego can keep you from doing anything. Thanks for this post Sheryl!

        Reply
        • This is me too – fear of not being healable and loss of hope – comforting to hear others too.

          Reply
          • This was me also, and still is occasionally. But the more I faced my fears and allowed them to surface, the more confident I got with it weirdly. Now I can recognize them and know that I can get through them because I have been in the depths before….and I know that once I do I feel lighter and more able to connect as the article states.
            It is scary, and such tiring work but keep going! Sending all my love 🙂

            Reply
            • Jackie: It’s so good that you’re learning to meet the fear from a wise part of you. This is the healing path in a nutshell!

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              • All with a lot of help from people like you Sheryl! I am eternally grateful for your help throughout the years, I have done a few of your courses 🙂

                Reply
  3. Thank you for this! It came when I really needed it. My fear of losing my relationship is crazy strong and there is so much I have to keep digging into and having to learn about myself, fearing I’ll lose him or myself every time. I’m really hoping it doesn’t stay like this forever and I doubt it will but right now the work is terrifying (because I don’t want to lose him) and hard and there are no guarantees I’ll get what I want most. Gah! Fear seems to shout so much louder then anything else sometimes.

    Reply
    • Fear shouts very loud until we stop buying into its lines. The more you feed it (believe it) the louder it becomes, but as soon as you call it out onto the mat and take the opposite action, fear quiets down and the healing begins.

      Reply
      • Sheryl, your reply to Vanessa hits me hard. I need help with this. Cognitively I understand stop believing it. But why is it so hard to stop, stop believing? In my mind, I think if it’s here then it’s true. How do you stop feeding this incessant monster? I’ve laid any bed many nights just begging for it to stop, to go away so I can live my life with my husband, my person in life. I just want it to stop.

        Reply
        • A simple answer but one of the hardest things we’re asked to do: you stop by accessing the choice-point – that smallest space between stimulus and response – and make the choice NOT to follow and feed the fear voices. Last week’s post talks more about this.

          Reply
  4. Uncanny timing! Needed to hear this exact message.

    Reply
    • I’m so glad it arrived at the right time :).

      Reply
  5. Such wonderful timing as always. You’ve been so instrumental in my life over the past 5 years. I’m now happily married. it’ll be one year in December. With as far as I’ve come over the years I still get stuck with all of those fear thoughts from time to time that keep me from fully healing. Thank you for the reminder of what’s behind the thoughts and fear. It’s too easy to forget when anxiety is at the front.

    Reply
    • We all get stuck with fear thoughts from time to time. It’s part of being human, and it’s always an invitation to delve into the next layer of growth.

      Reply
  6. This post reminds me of the ‘Immunity to Change’ work by Robert Kegan. In a workplace context, why are people stuck in bad behaviours that hold them back? He says there are good reasons stemming from deeply held beliefs (competing commitments) that are often unconscious. He suggests asking:
    1. What would you like to see changed at work, so that you could be more effective or so that work would be more satisfying?
    2. What commitments does your complaint imply?
    3. What are you doing, or not doing, that is keeping your commitment from being realised?
    4. If you imagine doing the opposite of the undermining behavior, do you detect in yourself any discomfort, worry, or vague fear?
    5. By engaging in this undermining behavior, what worrisome outcome are you committed to preventing?

    I thought it was tangentially relevant and could apply and help here!

    Reply
  7. Sheryl, you mention that the one on Monday September 16th will be your fourth free webinar. Is it possible to access the previous three?

    Reply
  8. What if you don’t feel emotionally safe with your partner anymore, in order to express yourself and your true feelings like you used to?

    Reply
    • If the lack of safety is due to issues in the relationship – as opposed to your own wounds – then you need to repair safety and trust, ideally through EFT-couples therapy (Sue Johnson’s work).

      Reply
  9. Hi Sheryl,

    I signed up for the webinar but then realized it will take place in the middle of the night for me here in Germany. Will the webinar be recorded or is there another chance for me to access it afterwards?

    Thanks 🙂 (and thank you so much for all the work you’re doing!)

    Juliane

    Reply
    • It will be recorded and you’ll receive the replay link afterwards :).

      Reply
      • Great! 🙂

        Reply
  10. Some nutritious food for thought 😉 We are called to change, yet it will likely be kinder and more loving than our fears or expectations! For a long time I’ve tried to change myself, and since a teenager have been in many situations where my needs and nature weren’t honoured. When I suffered I tried to “change” myself more to make it work. The most beautiful gift of starting therapy for me has been to give me permission as a type 2 enneagram helper to see myself as worthy of my own help! So I have been making changes that align with my needs and allow me to become more free and alive, yet also having to give up some of the validation from others which was just enough to keep me stagnant!

    I have noticed a resurgence of “rescue fantasies” (likely a withdrawal from the high of other’s approval or meeting people’s expectations) along with this – yet I feel that the ways in which my fiancé doesn’t meet my parental/cultural ideals is actually allowing me to learn my own value in a deeper way apart from how I live up to these same “ideals.”
    Thank you! 🙂

    Reply
  11. Sheryl, my schedule at the moment does not fit with taking your 9 months course right now. Do you think that there is a chance that you will offer it again in the future? Thanks.

    Reply
    • Too bad! I’ll likely offer it next September (annually).

      Reply
      • Good to know! I wish you all taking the course this round a warm time together.

        Reply
  12. Hi Sheryl.

    Would you like to write a blog about the topic of codependence?

    I can’t stop thinking that I’m codependent on my lover. Before this, I loved spending time with him but I also liked to spend time alone. We’ve always had some struggles with making plans because I liked to do stuff together a little bit more than he does. But, we’ve talked a lot about this and this didn’t bother us anymore. Overall, we both have our own lifes (work, friends, hobbies) next to our relationship. However, I can’t stop obsessing about codependence. I’ve read about it and now I just can’t stop thinking that I am codependent and that we are in an unhealthy relationship (although I deepdown know this isn’t true). Lately, the thought ‘you just don’t want to be alone’ creeped into my mind. Im also struggling when I see him. I constantly doubt WHY I want to see him: because I just don’t want to spend the night alone, because I’m dependent on him .. and so on. It just sucks. Before all this I just liked to see him, but now I’m constantly checking why I want to see him.

    Reply
    • This is so me. You are not alone! For me, I’ve started to realize that recently I’ve lost a lot of hobbies because of my new schedule. I’m not as involved in things that I was once passionate about, and my friends have proven to be not as true as I once thought them to be. So, I’ve turned to my partner a lot more. Personally, I’ve been trying to find new hobbies and new people to spend time with in order to take my reliance off my partner and onto myself. It’s hard and it’s very scary, but I know it’s the right thing for me and my relationship. I hope that might help!

      Reply
  13. Sheryl,

    I just want to thank you. I’ve been struggling with anxiety my whole life… and I’m still learning and discovering new ways it rears it’s ugly head. Just when I think I’ve conquered one manifestation, it shows up somewhere else.

    I had horrible separation anxiety as a child, then I developed frequent hand washing and intrusive thoughts around second grade. I spent hours laying around with stomachaches obsessing over them and how horrible I was for thinking such things. My parents helped me where they could but I had to learn to deal with them. The hand washing faded but the intrusive thoughts stayed around.

    As I got older, the intrusive thoughts moved to the background as life got busier, and they didn’t bother me as much, most of the time. I also began to understand more about how all of these things were related to anxiety.

    Then in college, I started having panic attacks— a new manifestation of anxiety. They mostly happened at church or at school and those places couldn’t be avoided, so I learned to deal with them— learned to force myself to calm down and was finally able to fight them this way and eventually to stop having them.

    Now I am 30 and have recently realized a new manifestation— relationship anxiety. At first I didn’t know what it was, and I thought something was really wrong with me when I didn’t feel all the things I thought I should feel in my current relationship. I later realized I had had this problem before, in a high school relationship, and had really only felt the way I thought I should feel when I loved someone when I was “in love” with someone I couldn’t have. I didn’t know I was mixing up love with painful longing and infatuation.

    But then I found your website, and read your blog posts. I am getting married in less than 4 weeks! I’m still anxious but the things you say about love and what it really is, a choice of the will and a giving of yourself, are so helpful, and they are the same things I’ve heard from my Catholic faith, from my premarital counseling, and from my loving and wonderful fiancé, who recently bought me one of your books to read. He is so understanding and has helped me and listened to me as I continue to learn more about myself and my anxiety. Even when the intrusive thoughts have hurt him, he has stayed there by my side to help me fight them.

    I’ve come to realize that my pre-wedding anxiety is very much like parachuting out of a crashing plane— it feels safer not to jump, to stay in the plane, but in reality the plane is going to crash and that’s not a good choice. My instincts tell me that jumping is scary and not safe, but I have to trust my parachute instead of my instincts, and jump! My faith and courage are the parachutes that will help me float gently into my new husband’s arms, and the parachute was sewn together by those who helped me learn the Truth.

    These things are what give me the courage to go forward and win against anxiety again! Thank you so much for your help!

    Reply
    • Thank you so much for sharing your story, and I’m so glad that my work is helping you address your lifelong anxiety. If you haven’t read The Wisdom of Anxiety, I encourage you to do (I’m not sure which book your fiancé bought for you!) as it will help you address your anxiety at the root and further guide you along your pathways of healing. x

      Reply
  14. What I don’t understand is, my whole life I thought of myself as highly emotionally intelligent, and someone who felt things deeply, and was deeply connected with life and my family, and the people I admire. I noticed I started having more anxious related thoughts a few months after surviving the Tubbs fire in 2017, and then after being in a 7.1 earthquake with repeated aftershocks and the scary (however untrue) possibility of an as big or worse earthquake, I started to disconnected. I was like “what the heck?” It scared me that I wasn’t feeling that connected. And then I started to have weird thoughts that were totally against my grain, and those haven’t let go since March of 2019. I work hard to try and not take them as truth, and I can tell they come from fear. They seem to be actively trying to push away people that mean a lot to me (except, oddly, my mother). I definitely feel that “what if I discover it’s true?” “What if I have to lose this person because I had bad thoughts about them?” “What if I can’t ever connect again and be the person I used to be?” “What could I possibly have to learn from this?” “How do I know what’s embedded in this thought?

    Reply
  15. This post is helpful and makes a lot of sense. About a year and a half ago I started getting intrusive thoughts about my sexuality and it bled into doubts about my marriage as well. Being in my early 40s and not having these doubts before I was crippled with anxiety as to what it all meant. The fear is still there but I am managing better and learning each day. Getting the understanding on how fear gives you these extreme scenarios to act as a way to protect you from vulnerabilities was key. I’m not done healing but this learning is more of an undoing of brainwash from societal conditioning

    Reply
  16. Thank you Sheryl (first time posting, although I follow your work for a long time, thank you for everything!). Indeed, I hear these thoughts about being broken, that my fears are different, that there’s something wrong with me, that there’s some dark truth about who I really am that I should not discover, that really there’s no hope for me… All this despite believing deep down in the fundamental goodness of human beings and being told by others that I’m a sensitive and caring person. Sunnysyd above wrote something that really resonates with me: these messages from the ego sound so convincing because they come disguised as “intelligence”. Something clicked inside me when I read that. It makes so much sense, I thought, because I was always the best student in class. My sense of identity was built around the idea that I’m intelligent, although I was also always very much sensitive (love arts, music, meditation, nature, etc.). The thing is, my sensibility was never mirrored in a positive way by my parents, who always thought I was “too much”, so I strove to be more and more intelligent, believing I would be loved if I were the smartest boy and, in the process, convincing myself that I could sort everything out in life by pure reasoning. I never understood people who “had faith”, who “trusted” in God, etc. But, in recent years, I begin to understand them and relate to them. Oh, such hubris from my part to think that I could sort every mystery of life, the meaning of life itself, just by reasoning and believing in these thoughts (sometimes disguised by me ego as “intuitions”)! The universe, God, the ultimate reality of who we are is so mysterious and so marvellous, how could reason alone grasp it all? I feel a burden lifting from my shoulders just by writing this. Life doesn’t need to be sorted out, it needs to be lived. Thank you

    Reply
  17. Sheryl! Hi! I hope you’re well and safe!

    I am in the depths of relationship anxiety at the moment and I don’t currently have enough money to purchase the course so I’m trying to rely on the blog. I lately have been feeling almost not myself around my girlfriend. Not bad, just a different side of myself. Different than when I am with my friends. Is this because I’m with the wrong partner?

    Any insight would be great! Thank you.

    Reply
  18. I cried yet smiled inside when I read this because it has described my 3 year healing journey to a ‘T!’ I was terrified of the changes (and still am a bit) that would happen with healing, but my anxiety was worsening and I was stepping into perimenopause. I had to get myself in a safe place first (my job was toxic and my friendships were not reciprocal). Once I changed those things and established safety, I was encountering a wall inside that I could sense got in the way with the connection I sought within myself and the world around me. It would not for the longest time budge, and only recently did I discover it was my ego! I didn’t realize how much I gripped on to the image of the poor, neglected, and mistreated child I had been and continued to identify with being. Now, I am trying to reconnect with my essence rather than the ego, and a, trying to soften into three story of my soul rather than the ego’s pain.

    Reply
  19. I’ve read this post so many times, and today came to it amidst a storm of fear and loud thoughts. I gathered all my courage and journaled between the fear and wise mind. I was almost shaking. And then I came through it to one of the most beautiful, peaceful, imaginative places I’ve been in a long time. Hoping the writing out will be a path back, and feel hope that with practice and gentle attention I can remind myself where I emerged and get there sooner, or with less resistance at least. Continually grateful for your work, and excited to get your book soon!

    Reply
    • Wonderful! The more you practice, the stronger the muscle of your wise mind will become. May the book be a gentle guide on your healing journey.

      Reply
  20. Sheryl, I just wanted to share something that I thought you or some of your readers may appreciate. For some reason, I thought yesterday that it was Sunday and I saw that you didn’t sent out an email or publish a blog post. My mind immediately went to “omg Sheryl must have DIED”. And this is also what my brain did the few times you skipped your regular Sunday posts. I hope that doesn’t come off as too harsh, but I just think in hind sight it’s so funny that my mind jumps to the single least likely explanation with such conviction. Pretty much sums up my brain in a nutshell 😉

    Reply
    • Hah! Yes, very relatable to the HSP brain. My mind often goes there, especially around things that we care deeply about. So, in one sense. I’m honored by what you’re sharing! And I’m grateful to be very much alive 🥰.

      Reply
      • <3 <3 🙂

        Reply
  21. Hi Sheryl –

    Thank you for this soul lifting and encouraging post!

    I have found that I tend to have intrusive thoughts when my partner is not “perfect”. An example would be if he has a tone in his voice when I ask him a question, my thought would be “my partner is mean” and then I tend to react with anger “Why did you just have that tone with me?!? There’s no reason for that.”
    I know that behind this thought of “my partner is mean” is pain and fear of me being taken advantage of or of me being passive. I can understand how this thought is trying to protect me from the pain of my childhood and my upbringing regarding my father. This thought it also ultimately trying to protect me from sadness.
    Would this be a good opportunity to drop into my feelings, when I have an anxious feeling or an intrusive thought toward what I consider my partners momentary lapses in grace, and to learn more about myself? I don’t want to “let things slide” when it comes to speaking and loving with respect, but I feel that I have a lack of compassion for the fact that no one is perfect and sometimes, we don’t react perfectly. My anger and anxious reactions are so strong to what I consider “disrespectful” that I feel it leaves no room for grace or love.

    Reply
    • Briana: You’ve wisely answered your own questions and I encourage you to trust the wisdom that arrived.

      Reply
  22. Thank you for this. I was just having a moment of being overcome by terror with my intrusive thoughts around an upcoming (hopefully temporary) move: my family are being called out of our beautiful neighborhood and home in one city and into the bosom of our large extended tribe-y family in another city – hopefully for only one year – to get support while my husband goes through an intense career chapter in that city and to help family through some health issues. I have been held hostage by thoughts that I will ruin all our lives, my kids will be miserable and we will lose all our friends and everything we have here – even though in my more rational moments, I think that for my kids – having both parents more present and supported and being surrounded by loving family will give them a healthy infusion of belonging and a stronger web of foundational connections at their young ages. And then I think that I should be grateful for all the blessings of my current home, we shouldnt move, ane I can absolutely helm the ship over here on my own once I deal with my anxiety. My brain was screaming “help!” And then I opened my email (to escape my panic) and saw yours. Thanks. I zoomed through The Wisdom of Anxiety the other day and plan to sign up for the course. I am now the mother of three and anxiety has held me hostage and derailed my life experiences for way too long.

    Reply
    • This is definitely what I am feeling right now. I have so much resistance I can feel it in my throat. Anytime a thought comes through that scares me it’s like my throat and chest close off. The last few days my anxiety has been in overdrive. Fear says to me, if these same thoughts have been coming up for the last 16 years then they’re true. If it weren’t true it wouldn’t still be a part of you. Now I’m crying writing that last part bc the thought of not being with my husband hurts my soul. At least I think it does?!? Sometimes I don’t even know what’s true and what isn’t.

      Reply
      • The same thought comes for 16 years because you’ve been feeding it this entire time. Whatever we water will grow. It’s time to learn another way ❤️.

        Reply
    • JND: I look forward to seeing you on the course so that you can step into the seat at the head of your inner table for readily and also learn how to drop into the grief that lives in the center of anxiety, especially when a transition is underfoot.

      Reply
      • Wow, thank you – your comment hit me right in the center of the grief it appears I am holding onto. I’ve been a mess all morning, thinking about leaving our gorgeous home and sweet kindergartens and beautiful nature – even though I know that choosing to return to our multi-generational village (it really is a tiny village) is also a loving choice for my three small children and myself as a mother and my husband who could benefit from knowing we are all supported while he pursues a career dream. I’m really looking forward to building a much better toolkit to have on hand for the future. I know life flows in cycles but I am so hungry for the lows to not be so debilitating.

        Reply
        • Yes, and that’s exactly what you’ll learn on the course: how to create a stronger inner rudder so that the lows aren’t so debilitating. See you there ❤️.

          Reply
  23. Thank you for this important reminder on the value of doing the work of looking inwards, and of the reminder of what you will find first – yourself waiting in blossom 🙂 Thank you!

    Reply

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