Trust Yourself: A 30-Day Course to Help You Overcome Your Fear of Failure, Caring What Others Think, Perfectionism, Difficulty Making Decisions, and Self-Doubt

“Dearest Sheryl, I have learned so much from the Trust Yourself program. I’ve learned that there are no absolutes, but rather signposts that tell me what I really want. I have grown in watching for the “shoulds” and can identify characters and archetypes which “speak” in my psyche, and have grown in compassionate dialogue with them from a place of truth and self-trust. I have learned how dreamlike and ethereal emotion can be, fleeing when I start to think too much about them/attach too much language to them. I’ve also see how dreamlike thoughts and thought-patterns can be, pointing to a feeling or symbol and not the actual object.

“I thought that the forum and group calls were very effective at creating a virtual community of learners and accountability, which I am already missing (as it is so difficult to start out with self-accountability in the beginning!). The Tonglen and concept of shifting intention to giving was huge for me.

“I had a lot of resistance to seeking guidance, having been told since childhood to “stay positive,” that if you give too much attention to an issue, you can make it a bigger problem than it is (well-intentioned, but not very functional when you are already habitually feeding the thought-spirals which aren’t serving you, despite what those thoughts say ;)). The program normalized my wiring and it took away an element of shame. I have a newfound respect for myself (misplaced sometime in late childhood) and I have found my voice. I am no longer more concerned with making others more uncomfortable than I make myself (scary, but liberating). I am truly becoming an adult, by learning to connect to my inner child!

“Sheryl, you are a true midwife of the soul. I am already sharing what I have learned about myself with my brother, who is also on the sensitive-anxious spectrum. This is the protein that was missing from my diet, the reason I had so little energy and true compassion to give to myself and others. Now my relationship with my partner does not freeze and shut down when I do, because I can now effectively decode my thoughts as I might analyze the behavior of a child, and am not expecting myself to “get it right.” I had read about “getting underneath the thoughts” and accessing the grief/pain/discomfort and now I have a roadmap that I can use flexibly, depending on what I want. I am no self-expert, but I am becoming more fluent in the language of my body and heart. There is less indulgent pain as well.

“Please know how deeply I respect you and your work, and that you have helped given me the map that returns me to me, who I had wanted to “get back to,” who I tapped into in the beginning of my relationship, when I felt felt, but who I could not locate. You have returned me to me!

“A full-throated “thank you” and hug from me and a silent one from those I love,”

AT, Brooklyn NY

“Sheryl, I can’t tell you how profound this experience has been! I felt blown away every day by your poetic and wise writing, by your original ways of thinking, by your profound respect and love for human beings. I felt so supported, light and joyful the first two weeks to have this program in my life!

“You made me discover that I had a way better connection to myself and my body that I thought, that I have a voice and that life can be so much better if I listen to it. You made me discover that my mind is a powerful tool, that I can visualize whatever I want that feels loving and compassionate for me. I absolutely love everything about giving ourselves permission, trusting the flow of life, slowing down, receiving and giving space, which were things that I felt but could never assert really.

“I am immensely grateful for all the work, heart and compassion you put in this program. It truly changed me and is going to change the mother I might eventually become!”

M.C., Portsmouth

“Thank you so much for this amazing course and for sharing your gifts with the world.

“Thirty days ago when I started this course my self-confidence had taken a dive after going through a break up. The end of the relationship uncovered so many issues with myself that I had ignored for so long, I hadn’t realized that my ex partner was acting as a temporary bandage for my pain.

“I can’t thank you enough for holding my hand through the early stages of this transition and shining a light down the path to the center of myself. I know this is a path we all walk for our entire lives and you have inspired me to appreciate and be grateful for my journey and the people that have contributed to it in their different loving and sometimes not so loving ways.

“I found all of the course content very helpful especially the work around yes’s and no’s and trusting that the universe is taking care of the future. I really believe that it’s only with hindsight that we can truly find answers as to why certain challenges, feelings and people come into our lives so all we can do is breath into the present moment. I loved the Mp3’s and your willingness to share a lot of your personal stories; it made me feel so much more connected with you and brought such a beautiful human element to the work.

“Thank you for helping me to realize that this process of grief is so multi-layered, after every time I break down and think I’m never going to make it though, the stronger I become. Thank you for helping me to lay a solid foundation upon which to rebuild my self-love and self-trust. I’m excited about this next part of my journey to becoming the strong, independent and connected woman who I’ve known has always been waiting inside of me but I didn’t know how to be – until now.

With love and gratitude,”
Jaime, London, U.K

“First and foremost, I want to thank you for the incredible work you do in the world. I, like so many of your other followers, found my way to your page in my own dark night of the soul. I have been dating my boyfriend for the last five years, and about two years into it, I began experiencing severe relationship anxiety. Thoughts about whether or not I loved him enough, if we were the right fit, how my relationship compared to those around me, and questions about my sexuality became a mental obsession. As you I am sure you could guess, I was of course judging and shaming myself for having these thoughts, and it even drove us to break up for a bit.

“Finding your website was quite literally a breath of fresh air. My entire body relaxed knowing that at the very least I was not alone in these thoughts and that they were pointing to something much deeper that had nothing to do with my boyfriend, and actually needed a tremendous amount of love and attention. Your work was an anchor for me in that time. I truly could not be more grateful.

“I made a lot of progress with ongoing therapy and by reading through your blog, but decided to sign up for the 30-day Trust Yourself program because I felt I was hitting some self-doubt/ self-confidence blocks that I could not understand. As always with your material, it perfectly articulated so many thoughts and feelings that I have trouble putting into words, and as a result I was able to face my inner world through a lens of love and compassion. The stand out lesson for me in these 30 days, was to open space in my heart for the ugly emotions that arise in life – whether it be within my relationship, at work, with family, etc. and to stop judging them. I became aware of my self-shaming thought patterns, and was able to break down a few walls. Of course, I am not fully there yet, and that’s okay, but the material you shared in these 30 days will continue to serve as a source of wisdom and guidance for me.

“Thank you again for leading us through this great journey. You are such a light!”

S.P., Miami, FL

“I have been reflecting on everything I have learned since starting your marriage e course in October 2014 and its really hard to put it into words. It has been life changing. Probably the biggest lesson has been learning to walk towards uncomfortable feelings and thoughts rather than pushing them away and trying to pretend they do not exist. Your wedding course and the trust yourself course have given me the skills to acknowledge uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and go deeper – excavating the ‘truth’, rather than running from the scary thought that lives on the surface.

“My call to healing came in mid last year, eight months before our wedding. Finally, this life changing event bought me to my knees and made me face what I saw as the unfaceable. My truth, which then I thought was to leave my partner. Now, through hours and hours of soul searching and healing – a lot which has come thanks to your wonderful Trust Yourself program, I see that my ‘truth’ is that my life is a gift, and my now husband is a gift. I give thanks every day now as part of my morning meditation and journaling (something that has come as a result of your course) that I am me and I live the life that I do. I still have fear and some anxiety, but I am learning that time, patience and curiosity will heal my wounds.

“This journey has been so layered, just when I think I have found the ‘answer’ to why this is all happening, a new lesson and healing will present itself. One part of the course content I did struggle with sometimes was the focus on parenting and the role they played in developing my Self trust. I grew up in a beautiful, gentle and connected family where I was surrounded by love, I was reluctant to believe that my childhood was anything but beautiful and loving. But of course, my parents were not ‘perfect’ – I can see how my tendency to procrastinate and turn away from underlying issues, so that I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings, is directly related to my family of origin. Again, your philosophy about walking towards and addressing uncomfortable feelings has been a big turning point for me. I have never been so honest with myself, my husband or my friends and family. I am proud of my vulnerability and who I am (and am becoming).

“I plan on joining your motherhood group soon, I already feel like I am grieving and connecting to the underlying emotions that sit below my anxiety as part of this transition. So different to how I approached my marriage transition. I am also reading ‘the way of transition’ by William Bridges (thanks for your list of book recommendations) – he is such a gentle and beautiful author. He helps me to let my tears flow.

“You truly are a teacher, Sheryl, I thank God everyday that I found your work which has in turn helped me to find myself. Spirituality has been born into my life and is allowing me to release the ‘strangle hold’ I once had.

My deepest love and blessings to you.”

Bridget, Melbourne, Australia

“I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell.” — Walt Whitman

“I feel like I’ve really “been around the block” in my search for inner harmony. Well, it’s only been about six years, but I sure did a lot of searching in that amount of time! For me, in many courses, books and programs there is a subtle exaltation of the work above the people that are studying it. At no point did I feel that way during this course, however. Sheryl, I feel like you have not forgotten what it feels like on a very detailed level, to be someone who has not found the work yet. Even though I know they are well meaning, for me, many teachers give me a feeling of “I’ve cleaned up and I will tell you how to get clean, but I will not get any dirt on me with you.” But with you as my teacher, I felt like I was with a gardener who does not think dirt is a bad thing, who gets her own hands in the soil and cultivates every day. I never got a sense of an exultation of the work or the product or idea above the people.

“My favorite parts of the course were…

“The weekly support calls: it was so soothing and powerful to me to hear your voice and to hear you interacting with people over the phone. I found myself really buoyed on the days after those calls.

“The honesty: this course was not a “make yourself a better human” course. To me, it was more like a “welcome to the beauty (and drama) of humanity, let’s look at all of it and help each other come to the fruits, without ignoring or downplaying any of the difficulties we can and will face.” I loved that you talked about resistance right up front and let us know to expect that and how to work through it. I love that you helped normalize thoughts and concepts that I thought I was alone in dealing with.

“Before I’d started this course, I’d drawn a picture of myself with a giant knotted mess of string coming out of my head. (This illustrated how my confusion felt to me). Now, after the course, this knot looks a lot smaller and with fewer strings to work through. I feel softer and I’m not as scared to approach myself. I don’t walk away from myself as readily as I always did before the course. I feel stronger. I’m feeling more confident in my parenting. If I were a guitar and my tuning was a tiny bit off-key, I used to throw the guitar in the corner in agony. Now I am better able to listen to the off-notes and turn the dial until I can get closer to the note I’m looking for.

“I’m so thankful that there’s somebody out there who gets it and who has the clarity and gentleness to help others. I think some people may get it, but their approaches (for me) were too black and white. Either you get it and you’re a winner or you don’t get it and you’re lost and can’t use their program. But with you, those grey feelings and concerns are normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

“This course was a gift to me and my family. I think it’s going to cultivate much more for me than I’m even aware of now. I can’t quite express it as well as I’d like to, but I hope you can sense what a difference you’ve made for me and my family. I would recommend it to absolutely anyone. Even more, I wish I could just wave a magic wand and deliver the course to most people because whether they believe it would help them or not, I am of the strong belief that it would.

“Lots of Love and thanks beyond what I can write.”

Bianca, California

“This course was truly life-changing for me and I am so grateful to have found Sheryl and her work. I would recommend this program to anyone who resonates with the feelings of needing approval, fearing failure, worrying about what others think. It does not have to be this way, and it can be healed, and Sheryl provides great tools for the journey.

“Sheryl offers incredible insight and wisdom in her teachings. I refer to her Conscious Transitions blog as her teachings because that is what one person’s journey can be for another who is willing to witness and observe, or in this case, read. Her teaching on “Life is Not a Popularity Contest” (June 2014) led me to take her E course called Trust Yourself. Sheryl writes: “the key is in recognizing that the common consequences of damaged self-trust – caring what others think, comparing yourself to others, difficulty making decisions, the fear of failure, addiction to approval and perfectionism – all result from one cause: externalizing your sense of self…Everyone can learn to undo these damaging messages and restore self-trust.” When I read that, I knew I needed to do this work with her. I was amazed at how accurately she worded my struggle.

“What an intense 30 days of revelation. Sheryl’s daily emails, her MP3s, and the exercises create space in one’s life for deep reflection and the opportunity for growth and change from old ways. Her guidance is gentle, reassuring and powerful. I cannot say enough about her recorded visualizations. They have become a tool in my daily life to help me connect to my inner wisdom. Her soothing voice and esoteric choice of words and images really invite one to a transformative place.

“As she also shares in her blog, “like all healing work, it requires time, patience, and commitment, as well as the support of a compassionate community all struggling with the same issues.” The commitment to the 30 days was easy because of the online community. There were many like-minded souls, working hard to heal, writing and sharing, and we were encouraged to do so at the pace that felt best for each of us. It was so refreshing to feel support from so many others, as well as know that however I responded to each piece, and in whatever time, was perfect.

“The Trust Yourself course enabled me to reframe several things in my life for which I have often judged myself harshly because of fear of being wrong, or feeling too afraid to do it any differently. I actually left a job that was making me unhappy because this course reminded me to trust my body and my intrinsic knowing, and step out of my head where I tend to over-analyze and am often overwhelmed by the voice of fear and “what ifs.” As I said, the course was life-changing for me. Thank you.”

Rhiana W, Seattle

“The program has been absolutely amazing. It focuses on all the elements that need to be balanced and work together for Self Trust to grow – at least for a person that’s wired like me. Nobody has ever presented this powerful combination to me before; the importance of being present in the body and heart AND connected to spirit AND be creative, let oneself play. I think of it like a treasure chest with many key holes, and previously I’ve only tried one key at a time and I’ve not been able to open the chest. Or I’ve forced the key, like trying to be creative but being totally hung up on making a perfect result. So you show us the keys we need, but also how to use them so they’ll do the trick. I am so incredibly grateful for your work and how you’ve attended to all the participants in the course to help us along on our journeys.”

Sunny, Norway

“The Trust Yourself program provided me with tools, resources and tips that are helping me shift from focusing on answers, results and thoughts to focus on the process and on being more aware of my physical and emotional needs. It has also helped me know myself better and be more compassionate and understanding of my own issues and those of others. Learning to trust oneself and life is not easy and it’s a bumpy road, but I am glad to be taking small and important steps in that direction.”

Elisa, Barcelona, Spain

“Thank you for providing these programs, as I’m learning so much more about trusting myself, loving myself and learning how to deal with trust issues. The program reinforced the fact that there are no right or wrong decisions, and only what feels right for you. It also encourages me not to care what people think, and how to make decisions on my own. And sometimes there are times where we’ll just never know the answer to something, and need to trust ourselves that we’re making the right decision. It is hard to dig deep and do the work, but it is very well worth doing so!”

J.E., Bellmawr

I cannot thank you enough for your programs Trust Yourself and Open Your Heart. They have changed my life in concrete ways and helped me tap into immense inner resources. These programs have have advanced me years forward in my relationship with myself, in feeling grounded as a thriving adult, and in strengthening my fiancé and my relationship.

The largest change is that I’ve added daily replenishing practices to my life thanks to your programs. As you suggested, I now intentionally start and end each day with moving inward.

Another significant change in my life comes thanks to your Open Your Heart teaching about people naturally having different internal schedules. Reading about how you and your family start your day slowly and later than the typical American schedule unburdened me from the shame I’ve had most of my life for being a later-to-rise person. Once I let go of this shame, I became matter-of-fact about my preference to rise later. (I get up around 7am and prefer to have 2-3 hours to get ready, from Dream Journaling to meditation and running and other self-care.) I’ve arranged things so I now come to work an hour and half later than I used to (and stay later). This has made an incredible change in the fulfillment each day brings me. Now when I go to work, it’s after having done all of the most important things for that day (meditation, exercise). I am usually beaming when I walk into work nowadays, and I cheerfully stay later in the evening (my least favorite time of day anyway – so I’m happy to spend those hours at work). I never would have had the confidence to request this change before reading this teaching you shared.

Thank you so much for your wonderful programs. Your teachings and your inner work are an incredible blessing in this world. Thank you so much.

Lailah, Charlottesville, VA

“I am currently revisiting the Trust Yourself course – which I didn’t complete because when I listened to myself I decided I needed to step away from learning and information – that in and of itself is different as usually I charge on with the learning regardless of how I feel.

“I must say the first 10 days which I had followed, and am now revisiting, had a huge impact on me. When I listened I realised that I wanted to step off the treadmill of London life, to stop drinking alcohol, to be in bed by 10 every night, to re-start meditating and juicing. I also felt a strong need to come off the contraception pill – all of this because I have started listening to my body and I felt compelled to get still to be with myself and fill my well…I have even started the blog I have been wanting to start for ages – first post “diving into my well of self.” And it had felt more natural than all the time I have been trying to force myself to love and trust myself somehow.

“So I wanted to say that I have enjoyed all your 30 day courses and for me this one has had a most profound impact. I think I needed permission somehow to get off the treadmill, surrender and get still and go within – changes are happening now I am doing that…I feel like I am touching the edges of the treasures within more and more.

“Thank you so much for your powerful work – I love it so much!”

Katrina, London

“I cannot begin to tell you how much your teachings and wisdom in Trust Yourself have continued to change my life. I’ve always known that my natural instincts were strong but, given that I have been a recovering people pleaser for some time there was always a conflict between knowing what I wanted to do/felt inside and my habit of putting other people first. I am thrilled to tell you that since the course, I have been listening to my own inner voice so much more and it is beginning to have such a positive impact on my life and ability to establish boundaries with less worry about what other people think or a desire for their approval. You reiterated and reminded me that I already have all that I need in the gift of my own inner north star and by teaching me to turn inwards more often and to take space, I am slowly creating the life I have dreamed of for some time. Interestingly, I am in the process of a few major life transitions (including a move overseas) and the healing, space and peace that continues to open up based on what I learnt in your course, is so freeing and means I will leave Australia with a complete clean and fresh slate. Thank you!

“On a different note, I have been validating/acknowledging the feelings in my work with students more and more since dialoguing with you on the forum and it is AMAZING to see how much they ‘open’ simply by being heard and seen. Ironically, as I write this I’ve realised that I am now doing this for myself more and more too! I am constantly reminded that my students teach me more than I could ever teach them!

“Sheryl, your gifts of teaching, writing and sharing wisdom and lessons that come from such a soulful place have, and continue to, touch me deeply. Thank you for the influence you have had on my life and the contribution your work has made to the most intense of healing processes I have been committed too for such a long time. I thoroughly enjoyed the various mediums the course content was delivered in and have stayed in touch with someone I met on the forum, too! The Open Your Heart course has also had such a wonderful, exciting and special impact on my marriage, too – my relationship anxiety has all but disappeared and, if and, when it pops up for a visit I can manage it so much faster and more effectively.”

Tanya, Australia