On the last round of Sacred Sexuality, we had a Zoom call that dropped us into a space of such tenderness and vulnerability that there were many tears coming from the Zoom squares. This happens sometimes, especially around the topic of sexuality.
It’s what happens when we enter into a safe and ritualized space where we know and trust that our pain and shame and stories will be received with love.
It’s what happens when we allow our bodies to lead the way, to guide us toward our healing and wisdom.
It’s what happens when we name and give voice to a source of pain that every woman has suffered and is suffering from. Men suffer, too, as do people of all genders and identities. But this particular course is for women, and it’s a place where magical healing happens.
When the call ended and we blew out our candles, I did my post-call ritual, then sat in silence for a while, staring out at the fairy-dance sparkles of the sunlit snow. It was January 2022. I was in the midst of another layer of my own healing around my body and sexuality, and the call touched me on so many levels.
When I listened back to the recording, I could hear the passion in my voice, and also an urgent call to the women on the course to trust themselves, to listen to their bodies, to enter into this most sacred path of healing.
There was one particular part of the call that stood out for me, so I clipped it and decided that I would share it here (with permission) before the next round opened for registration. And here we are.
I invite you to carve out 9 minutes to listen to this excerpt. Pay attention to what arises for you. Listen to your body. Stay with the pause. And men: this is for you, too. If you listen, I’d love to know in the comments where it lands for you.
Here’s a transcript of about half the excerpt:
“It’s about listening to and trusting our bodies and taking the first step.
“Maybe you just sit and hold hands. Maybe you just put your leg on your partner’s leg. Maybe you just hold each other. Maybe you take some clothes off and hold each other, but don’t do anything else. Just hold each other in that space of nakedness in every sense of the word. So vulnerable. Without expectation.
“It’s removing so much of the download of what we think sex is – that sex is intercourse and orgasms. That’s one little part. That is not what sexual intimacy is. That’s not what sacred sexuality is. That might happen and that might not happen. And it doesn’t matter either way. It doesn’t make it better or worse. But that is the only thing we have focused on in our culture. That’s what we call sex. We are broadening all of that here.
“And we’re starting with our own stories, because the more we can unpack our own stories and claim our stories and look back and say, “Oh, that was assault. Oh, that was abuse”,… when we find the courage to step into our stories – best done with a therapist – then we start to listen. And the more we listen to our bodies, the more we hear the subtlest cues: ‘Oh, I actually don’t want to do that right now.’ And then we’re able to find some voice: ‘Um, too fast. I need to go slower.’ ‘Oh, I thought I was okay with that but I’m actually not. Can we stop?’ And hopefully you have a partner who says, ‘Of course. Thank you for telling me. We can stop.'”
Through the course, we unpack some of the shame stories and we reclaim our voice. We do this together, in the safe cave of women who gather from around the globe to claim what is rightfully ours. I will be there to guide you every step of the way, offering the gentle roadmap and lighting the way back to your creativity, your aliveness, and your desire.
The next round of Sacred Sexuality starts on January 14, 2023, and I very much look forward to connecting with you and guiding you there.