Break Free From Relationship Anxiety Course
Do you struggle with doubt that you’re not with the “right” partner – that you’re “settling” and that there’s someone “better” for you out there?
Do you worry that you don’t love your partner enough, that you’re not “in love”, not attracted enough, or that something is “missing”?
If so, you’re in the right place. Thousands of people have taken my course and broken free from their relationship anxiety. The same is possible for you.
If you’re suffering from relationship anxiety (sign up for the free sampler/assessment in the sign-up box below to find out for sure), whether single, dating, dating after divorce, engaged, or married, this is the best course of action you can take.
Based on over two decades of my work with clients and course members, this comprehensive, self-paced course includes fourteen downloadable lessons of exclusive videos, MP3 interviews, articles, checklists, charts, tools, and exercises that will help you transform your relationship anxiety into clarity and love.
There is no other resource available that guides you step-by-step on how to heal relationship anxiety from the root.
“Sheryl’s work was indispensable in helping me soothe and address my fears and anxieties.”
“You must receive hundreds of emails a day, so I’m sorry for filling your inbox, but I felt moved to send you a personal thank-you. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I want you to know that you and your e-course have been a gift from heaven for me.”
“There is no other source that I know of for this information and for this method of awakening. Sheryl is the master and her course is worth ten times what you pay for it.”
Do you think you have an extreme case of relationship anxiety?
Do you feel alone with your experience, like no one understands?
You are far from alone and I assure you that you’re not an extreme case. One of the ways we heal is through stories and learning that we’re not alone. Along these lines, when you sign up for the course you will receive ten MP3 interviews with people who were in the depths of relationship anxiety, suffering from the range of doubt from day one to a two-year honeymoon that ended overnight.
In other words, some never experienced infatuation and lived with years of doubt before they found their way to my work; others were blissfully happy for months or even years until the anxiety and panic blew apart their world overnight. They come from all parts of the world and are in all configurations of relationships, for relationship anxiety is the great equalizer and crosses all boundaries. It can affect you no matter how old you are, where you live, your religious background, or your sexual orientation. These courageous women and men share their struggle in detail and let you know that you’re not alone, crazy, or an extreme case.
You will also gain access to a private, moderated, extremely active forum, where you can connect with people who are struggling with your EXACT issues, and you’ll be privy to the wisdom of those who made it through and are offering their advice to those in the eye of the anxiety storm.
"Trust me: with Sheryl Paul, you are in the safest, most divine hands you could ever imagine. It’s safe to say that the night I came across her work changed my life forever."
“I now understand that my anxieties are here to show me the path to peace, and that it’s only frightening when we don’t understand its purpose for being. Now that I know it is my friend, rather than shrinking away from it, I stop to say thank you and lean in to hear what it whispers. There is no other source that I know of for this information and for this method of awakening. Sheryl is the master and her Break Free From Relationship Anxiety Course is worth ten times what you pay for it.”
To read Brent’s full story, sign up for the free sampler/assessment in the first signup form below.
Brent Alexander, Australia
"It has only been a week and a half since I found your course online and poured through everything, but honestly my thoughts and perspectives prior to going through the course seem decades in the past."
“You must receive hundreds of emails a day, so I’m sorry for filling your inbox, but I felt moved to send you a personal thank-you. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I want you to know that you and your e-course have been a gift from heaven for me.
“It has only been a week and a half since I found your course online and poured through everything, but honestly my thoughts and perspectives prior to going through the course seem decades in the past. I’m going back through the course again to do some of the exercises which, of course, are making me rehash the thoughts that brought me here in the first place, but I’m actually having trouble connecting with those thoughts now. They don’t even make sense to me today.
“From listening to other stories, I’m sure it’s just wishful thinking to imagine that I’m out of it now, so I know to prepare mentally for the thoughts and anxiety to come back, but I will be ready for it and until then I will remain hopeful that I’m out of the darkness.
“This last weekend with my boyfriend was nothing short of magical. This is the man I’ve been with for close to five years, but it was as if I was seeing him with new eyes. His jokes seemed funnier, his face seemed more handsome. It’s like the anxiety has been a cloud blocking my ability to love him and I’m just now learning how to truly appreciate our connection. How to be content and happy with what is right in front of me.
“And as an added bonus of no anxiety for the last week and a half, I’ve slept like a baby every night. It feels so good to be well rested. From the bottom of my heart: thank you, Sheryl!”
Sara, Denver CO
"Thank you from every fiber of my being."
“I am feeling incredibly compelled to write you today. I have been moving through your relationship anxiety course. I cannot count how many times I’ve had a moment where I was completely blown away by the truth you share in each lesson. The first year of my beautiful relationship would’ve been met with more compassion towards myself and my partner had I found this course sooner. Though I believe I found it exactly when I was ready to break through my ego and allow my true self to shine through.
“This year I lost my father and may have allowed old wounds, projection, and personal frustrations to take me back to the anxiety I always seemed to cycle through. I could’ve easily imploded the very relationship I both need and want love and growth. With this work, I’ve come to understand not only my romantic relationships but why I have made certain choices in my life. I feel like I have found a tribe of kindred spirits who understand my sensitive soul and want to help guide me in this process. I’ve been looking for that my entire life.
“This course sums up perfectly every lesson life has handed me with my 2 1/2 year relationship. It is beautiful, sad, heart-opening, loving, fulfilling, and everything in between. I cannot believe that precisely the words I needed to hear are on every page of the reading and in every minute of the videos. Thank you is too small. You have given me the tools to free my heart and more importantly, embark on a greater journey of self-love. I am forever grateful.
“Thank you for changing my life.”
"Doing this work has done more than neutralize my crippling anxiety around my gender transition; it has also helped me get to the core of who I am and to unpack layers of defenses I didn’t even know I had."
“As a sensitive person with a history of anxiety spikes throughout my life, I was shocked at how transformational the course curriculum was for me. I had suffered for 15 years before I found Sheryl’s work. Doing this work has done more than neutralize my crippling anxiety around my gender transition; it has also helped me get to the core of who I am and to unpack layers of defenses I didn’t even know I had.”
Ethan C, transgender ftm
"It's so possible to work through this anxiety and to dip your toes in the waters of real love, and it's so worth the work to get there."
“Engaging is Sheryl’s work has changed my life in ways I didn’t imagine possible. What’s been the best ‘result’ is that I feel more me, and my relationship feels more real. I’m less caught up in the mainstream culture of ‘do more, be more have more’, and my life and relationship are a reflection of the hard work I’ve done and the guidance Sheryl has provided. For so long I thought I was an exception, that my anxiety was different than the others going through the work.
“What I learned is that I’m not different. I’ve learned so much about myself, about my relationship, that I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything. The work is about coming into contact with all that lives inside you, learning to embrace all the parts of yourself lovingly so you can share that love with others. If you’re in a loving relationship with someone you generally enjoy and with whom you share generally similar values, yet are plagued by anxiety please consider her courses. Having a real love relationship, one in which there are ebbs and flows, hardship and ease, is so much better than bouncing around waiting for the perfect someone to make your every waking moment a joyful one. Won’t happen. It’s so possible to work through this anxiety and to dip your toes in the waters of real love, and it’s so worth the work to get there.”
Sarah Love, Ann Arbor, MI
"This course was a true blessing. It helped me to open a new chapter in my journey, and the world I'm seeing is much more beautiful than I ever realized."
“I know the insights I started to gain through this process will serve me for a lifetime, and they have already started to influence my thinking and experiences about many areas of my life (job, other relationships, motherhood, etc). With the deepest appreciation, thank you, Sheryl, for helping me to see all of that!”
"I recall the day the course came into my life. It was December 6, 2011, and my mental inertia matched the temperature outside: I was frozen. Paralyzed by debilitating anxiety, I feared what this anxiety meant for my new relationship and even more terrified of making a mistake. 'Did I love him?' 'Why did I not find him attractive?"
“‘Am I just with him because he treats me so well?’ Perplexed by whether or not to call it quits with my boyfriend of only a few months, I broke down and wrote an email cry for help to Sheryl asking what to do. Although she couldn’t make the decision for me despite my urging, she did suggest the e-course. I hesitated at first, as my partner and I had only been seeing each other for a few months, and I didn’t even know if I wanted to be in a relationship with him. While I enjoyed spending time with him – he’s smart, generous, thoughtful, and loves me unconditionally – I was still so unsure. Sheryl appealed, noting:
‘The nicer the guy, the more fear it will activate. It sounds like you have a great guy on your hands and you owe it to yourself to do everything you can to address what’s interfering with your ability to be fully present in the relationship. If not now, when?’
“The answer was now. I dived head first into the e-course and made a commitment to work through my anxiety without sacrificing my relationship. Each lesson touched on an anxiety pain point I was experiencing, from projection to real love to managing my anxiety in the moment. I found relief with each passing day. Interviews, message board wisdom, gratitude lists, and targeted exercises helped me to see that I was not alone in my thoughts; and not only that, but that I could be happy in my relationship. The forum allowed me to share my fears with like-minded men and women who were encountering similar experiences. In conjunction with a counselor, diet and exercise, prayer, and support of loving family and friends, the e-course kick-started positive changes that have reverberated in every aspect of my life. I cannot thank Sheryl enough for warming my cold feet on that December day and for guiding me along this incredible journey to wholeness.”
KD, New York
"When relationship anxiety first showed up I was in a very fragile state, dealing with severe anxiety including panic attacks. I really didn't understand what was happening to me with all those disturbing thoughts and feelings about my husband and our relationship (we had been married for 13 years at that time) and I interpreted them all at face value."
“My mind became like a roller coaster. Relationship anxiety triggered even more fear, uncertainty, doubt and confusion and a great amount of anxiety with all sorts of physical manifestations. I googled about it and came across Sheryl’s website. It was comforting for me to realize that I could put a word on it, but I was still very confused. I was reading blog posts but it took me quite some time before I got the courage to sign up for the course. There was a lot of resistance about what I might find out if I do this work.
“I didn’t realize at that time what kind of inner work is ahead of me – it’s not the easiest thing I have ever done :-), but as any worthwhile thing in our lives (which real, good relationship definitely is) it requires some effort. The e-course was really eye opening to me and so interesting. I’ve never come across such well-designed e-course with so much information in different formats.
“It has been an interesting journey for me since then, because it doesn’t just help me deal with my relationship anxiety but it is also a big help with my anxiety in general. The e-course includes a wide spectrum of information and knowledge that are all linked to relationships but also to other part of our lives. I’m learning new ways of connecting to myself through yoga, writing poetry, learning mindfulness meditation. I’m also learning how to work with thoughts and so on. The benefits for me are huge.
“There are times when we make a decision just by blind faith and I think the decision to sign up for this e-course is one of them. I encourage you to make this decision and gain so much out of it. I sure have and it still continues to be a work-in-progress.”
"I found Sheryl’s work at the start of a period of profound anxiety, the likes of which I had never experienced before. Ever since childhood I have been a worrier, afraid of change, death and abandonment. To cope with these fears, I developed protective but painful habits of being extremely hard on myself and believing in my own unworthiness. Nothing, however, could compare to this Dark Night of the Soul."
My initiation into anxiety came off the back of numerous significant life transitions that I had absolutely no idea how to navigate: moving cities, publishing a novel, moving back in with my mum, changing jobs, flying to the other side of the world and campervanning for six weeks and, finally, being asked by my boyfriend to marry him. I thought I could waltz my way through all of this tumult without a care in the world, but my sensitive constitution was calling for consciousness, gentleness and grounding. Not knowing this at the time, anxiety came down on me like a ton of bricks: I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, my head hurt, my chest hurt, I had episodes of being unable to breathe properly, my ears rang, I lost so, so much weight and was completely at the mercy of the most excruciating intrusive thoughts. In the meantime, more changes were afoot as I started a new job, moved into a new flat and became an aunt all amidst the longest and hottest summer ever recorded in the UK. I was emotionally crippled.
Like many other people, I googled my symptoms and my thoughts and thankfully found Sheryl’s website. I had found other websites that had encouraged leaving your partner if you felt doubt, or espoused that if you loved him but were not ‘in love’ with him then that was a good reason to break up. These were truly scary to read and did not give me the answers I was looking for. I knew something bigger was at work here: it was Sheryl’s book and website that gave me a language and a context for what was happening to me. I was completely and utterly terrified of being loved, being vulnerable and surrendering to the great uncertainty of life. It turns out that thousands of other people all over the world had experienced that exact same thing and that in spite of the pain, this was an excellent opportunity and a gift.
My main fear and resistance lines that arose around buying the course where strong but, I have come to know, very common. They revolved around doing the work and still discovering I would have to leave; that doing this work successfully would require nothing short of a personality transplant; that it wouldn’t work for me because I was the exception and worst case scenario; that Sheryl didn’t actually know what she was talking about (what’s 20 years of counselling experience worth anyway?!) and that simply by having to embark on this course and needing Sheryl’s work, I was already a failure. My mind would latch onto every possible fear outcome. Clicking ‘Buy’ is a massive act of courage: it requires so much bravery to hear those fear lines and to push on regardless. But it is so, so worth it.
The course has given me the emotional education I wish I had been given at school. I learned about projection; taking responsibility for myself; that paradox is at the heart of living and loving fully; that real love isn’t the adolescent Disney fantasy that we are exposed to and want to be true; that sensitivity and creativity are gifts that are so underappreciated in our society and can result in sensitive-creative-anxious people squashing themselves into boxes of shame and not attending to their needs fully. Most importantly, I have learnt how to cultivate an inner loving adult to attend to my hurt places, to my fears and worries, to show up for myself when I feel alone, listless and completely out of control. This takes time to develop, because it is truly the work of a life time, but with the tools and practices Sheryl teaches like meditation, Tonglen and dialoguing, the creative expression she encourages through letter writing, poetry and dance and the bibliography she provides of books, audio files and articles, you are given so much material to guide you. Additionally, she provides the stories of people who have been exactly where you are to give reassurance, to help explore the roots of anxiety and to give you hope that you too will heal. I also loved the spiritual element of Sheryl’s work: I am not religious but I have always believed in something bigger, that we are all connected in this wonderful expansive universe. We are made of the same basic chemistry as the trees and the stars: that gives me such a sense of belonging! This course has given me the opportunity to explore that fully and to find comfort and grounding in that, especially when I feel lost and out of control: off the back of the course, I have been inspired to research the works of Pema Chodron, Ram Dass and the Tao Te Ching. I have transformed my Instagram feed from an endless scroll of selfies to recipe channels, quotes by Thich Nhat Hanh and videos of public speakers like Brene Brown. The course teaches you how to surround yourself with the goodness and nourishment you never even knew you needed.
If you are here, you will know that you are crossed some kind of threshold: you may have arrived at this point willingly but you may also have been dragged across it kicking and screaming, like I was. Either way, you know that the anxiety you are experiencing requires your attention. You need a context, you need to know what is happening inside you and you need to know how to help yourself move towards clarity and peace. On some level, you know that these fear lines and habits and ways of thinking are not serving you (even though they are telling you that they are) and that the time has come to learn how to be with yourself, how to heal old pain and how to open your heart. I know it feels like you can’t do this, but you can. Sheryl and the amazing community she has built are here to help you!
Elizabeth, Nottingham, UK
Is my doubt about my relationship an offshoot of my own anxiety or is it a warning that I’m with the wrong person?
When You Sign Up For The Program, You Will Receive:
– 14 lessons divided into four sections
– 24 exclusive videos that teach the key principles and practices to help you break free from relationship anxiety.
– 10 exclusive, one-hour podcasts with women and men from all over the worldwide who tell their honest stories of how they broke free from relationship anxiety and found their way through.
– Hundreds of pages of articles to elucidate the various components of this work.
– Specific and essential tools and exercises to help you heal from anxiety and find your clarity.
– Access to a private, moderated, extremely active, live forum where you will have an opportunity to interact with members worldwide who are struggling or have struggled with every aspect of relationship anxiety. There are over 135,000 posts on this very special forum. You are not alone!
– 6 MP3 visualizations and poetry to guide you through the process of healing.
– Lifetime access to all of the material
– LIVE course: Sheryl runs this course LIVE once a year. This option is not currently available. The next live course will run in the fall. If you sign up for the self-paced option now, you can join the live round for an additional fee to receive the support from Sheryl. With the live round you will receive all of the above PLUS:
- 8 weekly emails from Sheryl to help guide you through the course material
- 6 group coaching calls where you will have an opportunity to receive direct support and hear other people’s struggles
- If you struggle with discipline and would benefit from receiving direct guidance, the live course is for you. This course is very dense, packed with hundreds of hours of material. Let’s unpack it together!
The fourteen lessons are divided into four sections:
Where I will explain in detail the root causes of relationship anxiety, discuss the anxious-sensitive-creative personality type (why is this so hard for me?), explain dark night of the soul, delve into the essential concept of projection, cover red-flag issues, resistance, and answer the million-dollar question (see assessment above).
Break Free From Anxiety
Where I will teach you the essential tools and information that will help you break free from your anxiety. This section includes in-depth videos on topics that are exclusive to this course, like sexuality and the ex.
An in-depth course unto itself that will teach you how to heal from intrusive thoughts once and for all.
Where you will receive 10, one-hour podcasts with men and women all over the world in all configurations of relationship who share their struggle with relationship anxiety and how they broke free.
A special focus on the anxiety activated by a proposal or impending marriage for anyone in the wedding transition (engaged or newlywed)
Frequently Asked Questions
What if it doesn’t work? What if I go through the Course and I’m still anxious?
The course isn’t a magic pill that takes away your anxiety just by reading the material and watching the videos (I wish I had that magic pill!). You have to work through the exercises and give your fear time to work through. The course will provide you with accurate information to replace your unrealistic expectations. It will provide you with tools and exercises for working with your anxiety, doubt, and intrusive thoughts. It will provide you with comfort from reading about and hearing other people’s stories that are just like yours. But the real work has to come from you and your commitment to taking full responsibility for your well-being. And there are two elements that I can’t include in the course: time and patience. There are six factors in the equation that results in serenity:
accurate information + effective tools for managing anxiety + support + validation through other’s stories and posts + time + patience = serenity
The course offers the first four factors, but there’s no way to package TIME and PATIENCE. However, I will say this: Every single person who has worked with me in some capacity (read my books, frequented the forum, worked through the course, and/or had coaching sessions) and has found the patience to give themselves enough time, has found their serenity. Across the board without exception. The same can be true for you.
What if I work through the course and discover that I want to leave?
This is the number one reason why people don’t sign up for the course: They’re terrified that they will discover that their “truth” is that they want to leave. I will tell you this: Of the thousands of people who have gone through the course, not a single one has left their partner (unless there are true red-flag issues, which you will learn about in the course as well). What ends up happening is quite the opposite: When you work through your fear walls and see your partner with clear eyes, you are more available to love and be loved. When fear shrinks, love grows. It’s quite a simple equation.
What if I’m a guy?
The course applies equally to men. When I started working in the field of psychology in 1999, my work centered around women and the wedding transition. Since then it has evolved to include anyone who suffers from relationship anxiety at any stage and configuration of relationship.
If you’re a man struggling with relationship anxiety and attraction is your main spike (as it is for many men), please read through this page and sign up for the free, 26-page document contained there.
My anxiety hit during my engagement. Will this course help?
The first version of this course was called the Conscious Weddings E-Course, and thousands of people have taken it and worked through their anxiety successfully. If your anxiety is specific to the wedding transition – meaning it started near the proposal, wedding, or first year of marriage – the Conscious Weddings Course may be for you. However, if you’ve had a lifelong history of anxiety and intrusive thoughts, and your relationship anxiety is pervasive and not specific to the wedding transition, the Break Free From Relationship Anxiety Course is for you.
What if I’m already married?
Relationship anxiety can hit at any time, at any stage of relationship. You can be married for several years and suddenly find yourself questioning whether or not you’re with the “right” partner. Or perhaps the doubt was quietly there all along and then burst into flame seemingly out of the blue. Whatever the specifics of your story, the course will help you make sense of your experience and work through your anxiety so that you don’t have to walk away from a loving, stable relationship.
What if I'm young? Everyone says I'm too young to commit to one person, so isn't this an anxiety a sign that I'm supposed to leave?
The culture says that you should “play the field” and that if you met in your teens or early 20s, you’re too young to settle down. I hold a different view, as do hundreds of people who have gone through my course and decided to commit or have already committed to their loving partner. Furthermore, if you’ve stumbled upon this work early in your life, you will learn skills and embark on a healing process that will serve you for the rest of your life. You’re one of the lucky ones!
I’m already in therapy. How is this different?
This course works beautifully in tandem with good therapy. However, as most therapists aren’t trained in the specifics of relationship anxiety, it’s important to supplement your work in therapy with information and tools that can help you move through this niche area of anxiety. Many people send articles from my site to their therapists, which can support the healing process tremendously. Sadly, I’ve heard countless stories of people’s therapists who respond to the doubt and fear with the dreaded, “Well, maybe that means you shouldn’t be with your partner.” If that’s the case, find a new therapist.
What if I'm in a new relationship?
As KD’s story shows above, and as several of the interviewees in the course share, relationship anxiety can hit at any time, including in the first few months, weeks, or even days of a relationship. The culture says, “If you have doubt from day one then you’re in the wrong place,” but my work reveals a vastly differently story.
Do you talk about OCD, ROCD, and HOCD?
Yes. In fact, the entire course addresses what the mainstream culture refers to as ROCD. While I’m not a big fan of diagnoses as they imply that there’s something “disordered” about you, my work addresses the root causes of these very painful yet common experiences. Section Three of the course – Break Free From Intrusive Thoughts – addresses the most common thoughts associated with “OCD”, including “What if I’m gay?” and “What if I don’t love my partner?” Most modalities teach you to work with the thoughts on a surface layer. Working this way may offer short-term relief, but it doesn’t address them at the thoughts at the core, which requires pulling them out by the roots. This is what the course will teach you.
Is it really worth the expense?
The real question to ask yourself is this: What is the cost of NOT getting the help and support you need? What will happen to you – and your relationship – if you don’t address your anxiety thoroughly and effectively? But to answer the question directly, the course is the synthesis of thousands of hours of my work with clients and course members since 1999, and it offers more information, guidance, support, and tangible tools than I could offer in twenty therapy sessions (and a single coaching session with me is about the same cost as this course).
Furthermore, this is the only course available that addresses relationship anxiety from the root, which means not only will be given tools, information and support for how to break through your relationship anxiety and find your way back to love but you’ll also receive a guide for how to navigate through the rest of your life more successfully.
Is the course religiously affiliated?
The course is not religiously affiliated. However, people of all faiths have taken the course and benefitted enormously from it. In other words, it’s inclusive both of those of faith and those who don’t follow any particular religious or spiritual path.
Can I view the course on an iPad or iPhone? I don't have a computer.
Yes, the course is delivered digitally and is downloadable and viewable on all devices.
Is the course available in countries outside the United States?
Yes, as long as you can use Paypal you can purchase the course.
How long do I have access to the course?
You will receive lifetime access to all materials.
How long do I have access to the forum?
You will have indefinite access to the highly-moderated, highly-populated forum.
Pay in Full
- Split payment over two months
- Please note that there are no refunds.
If you have a question about the course, please submit it below in three brief sentences or less. Due to the volume of emails that I receive, I cannot read and respond to lengthy inquiries, but I’m happy to answer a very specific question to help you determine if the course is right for you. If you write a long inquiry you will not receive a response. Before submitting your question, please be sure to read the Frequently Asked Questions section above to see if it’s already been addressed.
I also offer single coaching sessions, which you can learn more about by clicking here.
"I have been married for a month now, and I can honestly say I would have not had the courage to commit had I not been working with Sheryl and if I did not know the truth about real love and attraction, or have the tools to calm and sooth my anxious mind. Hand on heart, I can highly recommend Sheryl's counselling, coaching and online courses (I have delved into all of them!) for anyone who is committed to healing their anxiety and allowing their heart to break open in order to be free to share and experience the love in your heart."
“I found Sheryl’s work around 8 years ago and at first just spent a while reading her blogs, which I found so rich, comforting and informative, before I decided to have a session with her. I found the work to be deep and difficult but I loved working with Sheryl. Her integrity and depth shone through and I knew there was great wisdom in what she shared, even if I could not always fully integrate it in my life. I also bought many of Sheryl’s online courses, with The Break Free from Anxiety Relationship e-course being my favourite and most transformational course. I just loved the way it was laid out – so clear and practical – easy to dip in and out of or take a deep dive with – so much information at your fingertips that I revisited time and time again. I learn very well with visuals and videos, so this course was excellent for me as I could listen to the videos over and over, and look at the wheel charts at length. I felt like Sheryl had thought of everything – she clearly knows and understands this terrain deeply – and it also really felt like she was right there with me. Sheryl’s approach (in person and online) is unwavering, strong, and compassionate. There is some fierce love in there, telling you in no uncertain terms that fear is a liar, and that we need to take full responsibility, to wake up to it and do the work needed to excavate and move through it, if we want to experience love, which lies on the other side of fear.
“I recently started working with Sheryl again – and wow what divine timing that was. After 8 years of working with her on and off, but never following through on my relationships – by which I mean always dipping in a toe, but ultimately leaving them, it really was time to do the work on a deeper level. I had met a wonderful man and was once again insanely triggered in my fear. This was my time though, I had seen enough (been through 3 relationships repeating the same pattern) to know that the problem was mine, that the anxiety lay inside me, and that I had some strong projection habits going on! Within 6 months of my new relationship, working with Sheryl to steady the way, I was engaged and within a year we married! I have been married for a month now, and I can honestly say I would have not had the courage to commit had I not been working with Sheryl and if I did not know the truth about real love and attraction, or have the tools to calm and sooth my anxious mind. And what an utter travesty it would have been to walk away again… I would have missed out on my life’s greatest adventure, as I have never felt happier and more in love in my life. It really is true that the depth of your anxiety is in direct proportion to your love and your capacity to love. Of course, at times anxiety rears its head still – my old familiar friend – but I know now that this simply means I am misaligned and off centre internally, and I enjoy going inward to see what is calling for my attention inside. This simple, but profound shift means that the anxious feelings never really stay around for long, and my confidence in knowing how to handle anxiety has sky rocketed, as has my confidence in trusting that I know (very well) how to love. My new husband and I are at the start of our marriage journey and I finally feel clear, aligned and very excited about our future, and our capacity to handle what life might throw at us along the way.
“So hand on heart, I can highly recommend Sheryl’s counselling, coaching and online courses (I have delved into all of them!) for anyone who is committed to healing their anxiety and allowing their heart to break open in order to be free to share and experience the love in your heart. It is a true and invaluable reeducation and something that I feel should be taught in schools globally – imagine what a different world that would be!”
Katrina Kerr, London
"I remember vividly the day I experienced relationship anxiety. It was the night before I got married, back in October 2012. I could not sleep or eat. All I could think about was, "Did I make a mistake?", "Am I not in love with him?" "Will we get a divorce?"
“I started searching in the web all the questions in my head, and suddenly, came Sheryl Paul and her amazing work. I immediately purchased the Consciously Wedding E-Course, and started reading through the course and hearing all the stories. I thought I was cured. Little did I know, the road ahead was long and life changing. I admit, I had a lot of resistance, but my heart opened when she launched her course “Breaking Free from Relationship Anxiety”. I did all the work, listened to her audios as well as the stories. For once, I did not feel alone. Her work not only helped me deal with my relationship anxiety, but also showed me to trust myself, not to take my thoughts at face value but to challenge the thoughts. It helped me find the root cause of my anxiety, and for that I thank her every day. I will say, anxiety is part of me and I still experience it from time to time, but having this experience and finding Sheryl to guide me through the process was essential for my healing and growth. I love you, Sheryl.”
Viviana Angulo, Miami, Florida
"I'm sure you get these messages every day, but I needed to thank you for everything you have done for my relationship and my life. Your work gave me clarity in the most anxious and confusing time in my life."
“I’m sure you get these messages every day, but I needed to thank you for everything you have done for my relationship and my life. Your work gave me clarity in the most anxious and confusing time in my life. I feel that I am reaching the end of my relationship anxiety and I couldn’t be more grateful for the Break Free Course, the forum, and the reading list. I know that if I ever reach an anxious point in my life, I can handle my own emotions. That is the greatest gift I’ve ever received. You are doing God’s work and are helping so many people. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
Linda, New Jersey
"I’m writing to you first with deep and heartfelt gratitude for creating and sharing your relationship anxiety e-course. My life transformed completely after finding it and I don’t know where I would be today without it."
“Because of you I never have to wonder and can happily say I am recently married to my best friend and have gained innumerable tools to look inward and work on loving myself.
“My husband X and I started dating four years ago. At the time I was ending my previous relationship, which had lasted for three years, and the entire time before and during our relationship I had spent filled with anxiety. At the time of the ending of the relationship I thought it was because I had always known deep down that my boyfriend wasn’t the one for me, and while I am sure that was part of it, I realize now that much of the anxiety would follow me everywhere – and it soon did. X’s and my relationship was perfect for about two months, and I thought love was the cure for all anxiety until it came raging back to me. My own issues along with the stress of graduate school were incredibly hard on us – we even briefly broke up, but couldn’t step away from each other.
“I had been aware of the term “relationship anxiety” for at least a year before I found your course and had searched many times online for articles and advice for help, but never found more than a few articles that didn’t offer detailed information. When we hit the three and a half year mark I became incredibly frustrated and depressed that I still had such doubts and anxiety about our relationship – surely I thought they must be gone by now if we were really right for each other. Another desperate google search led me to your course, and I couldn’t believe my luck. I knew it was for me and I bought the course right away.
“I have been seeing a counselor for years, who I trust and has certainly helped me a lot in taking care of myself and my personal growth, but I never felt like I could make sense of relationship anxiety until I took your course, saw that thousands of people struggle with it, and received tools for understanding and addressing it. I could tell that your approach was the real deal when I could see on your website that you made sure we know that there are no quick fixes, but slow and steady progress is always possible.
“I cannot express how incredible and quick the transformation was in me. I found the course in December and bought it just before Christmas. Within a few weeks, I felt the high, then the low, and slowly worked my way up again – and I found myself thinking constantly of engagement. We always knew that we both wanted to propose to each other. Because X had been so patient with me, I surprised him with a proposal in February, and a month later he finished with part two. I know my work is never done and I still have a long way to go, but I get overwhelmed with gratitude thinking of the discrepancy between where I was just seven months ago and where I am today. I love that your approach refuses to see people as “disordered” but rather functioning within a toxic culture that is not designed to meet our needs.
“I can’t sing enough praises of your work. Thanks for your time, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for changing my life.”
"Truly, this work has saved my life. Thank you, Sheryl!"
“I found the Break Free From Relationship Anxiety course about a year and a half after I started having doubts about my relationship and feeling a kind pain that was a mix of anxiety and depression that I had never before experienced. When I found Sheryl’s website while I was, dare I say it, googling, I couldn’t believe that there was a thing called “Relationship Anxiety” but I knew that was exactly what I had. Just knowing that in itself was a huge relief and I knew immediately that I needed to soak up everything the course had to offer.
“It’s been almost 4 years since the first pings of doubt and questioning and subsequent terror took hold of me. I spent a year and a half second guessing if I loved my (now) husband and seeing all these perceived flaws and then another two and a half years reconditioning myself to understand what the heck happened and how to have a healthier take on what was really going on. It was not easy and being disconnected in that way from a person I have loved so deeply the whole time was the worst thing I’ve ever gone through. I held out for an answer because I knew if I didn’t really love him, I wouldn’t have been so desperate to understand what was wrong. Now after this long while, I can say finally that I have truly broken free and not only have I found that “oatmeal love” with my husband, I can understand how the anxiety and undergoing this whole process was a gift. Learning what I learned in the Break Free From Relationship Anxiety Course has helped me in all aspects of my life and I feel better equipped as a human being in this sometimes scary and difficult world.
“I think the most important things that I have learned and finally have engrained in my psyche: I need to learn how to fill my own well (no one else can do that for me), what I water will grow (and I’m holding the watering can), and my husband is a human being with flaws and imperfections just as I am. Also knowing that love can grow and is based on intention and commitment – that has helped put me in the driver’s seat again as well and made me a better partner. Oh oh Oh – and – just because I think something, doesn’t mean it’s true!! (Pair that with “what I water will grow” and that’s a pretty sweet recipe for taking care your own mental health!)
“Now that I have “broken free”, it doesn’t mean I’m perfect and don’t get flares of anxiety, it just means that when those sensations do crop up, I use it as an indicator that it’s time to turn inward and meditate or do something as simple as giving myself a hug. I don’t ever let myself go down the rabbit hole of thought that somehow my husband is somehow responsible, either passively or actively, for my discomfort.
“Truly, this work has saved my life. Thank you, Sheryl!”
Claire Elaine, Doylestown, PA
"It has been two years since I started the Breaking Free course, and I can humbly say that I would not have had such a beautiful engagement, wedding, or marriage so far if I did not find your site through my anxiety-driven Google searching all that time ago. Your course was and still is worth every penny and minute I invested in it, and it is the first thing I recommend when I meet women whose anxiety has distorted the reality of their relationship."
“Thank you for the work that you do, and for helping me cultivate the person I have become in these last couple of years: more calm, secure, courageous, accepting, and loving.
With endless gratitude,”
Gianna Lussier, Portland, OR
"I cannot tell you how much your work has helped me over the past year, Sheryl. It changed my life completely! Your course work and insight has been profoundly important to me. The way you think about love and relationships is revolutionary."
“I can’t get enough of it or stop talking about your work with friends. You really helped me open up to real love and your work gave me the strength to work through my anxiety and demons. You were right all along: anxiety ended up being such a gift. I am so grateful that I found the courage to do the work and walk through the deep scary forest. I am not perfect and I have my days where I feel scared and anxious, but I now welcome any anxiety as an opportunity to grow. I opened up to real love and I am happily married to a very special human being: my husband.”
Colette Nothnagel, Johannesburg, South Africa