Healing the Mother Wound: A 40-Day Course for Daughters

Do you struggle with not feeling good enough and a deep, abiding sense of shame?

 

Do you long for a female figure to nourish you, take care of you, and accept you unconditionally?

 

Do you feel enmeshed with your mother, struggling to know where she ends and you begin?

 

Growing up, were you a parentified child, and now do you feel like you’re the adult and your mother is the child at times?

 

Are you afraid that if you say no to your mother, express a difference of opinion, or set a boundary with her that she’ll reject you, punish you, or abandon you?

 

Do you struggle with self-trust?

 

Do you feel like you have to be a good girl and good daughter, and that even perfect isn’t good enough?

 

If so, you may be suffering from a mother wound. 

Over the years of working with women all around the world, I’ve noticed a common source of pain and wounding around their relationship with their mother.

For some women, this shows up as the feeling of being enmeshed: not knowing where your mother ends and you begin.

For other women, it shows up for as a fear of abandonment, especially if you express a difference of opinion or try to establish boundaries and separateness.

For most women, it shows up as a combination of both.

And for all women it leads to a disruption in self-trust and a deep, abiding sense of shame – the feeling of not being good enough – not beautiful enough, not smart enough, not successful enough, not worthy of love and belonging.

 

What exactly is a mother wound?

A mother wound is a rupture of attunement where a mother, due to her own unmet needs, lack of fulfillment/sense of self, and/or narcissistic and judgmental tendencies is unable to meet the emotional needs of her child. The mother’s expectations and needs become paramount and the daughter learns to orient around those needs.

 

This isn’t about hating mothers or blaming for mothers for all our pain. The bottom line is that our parents will always fail us in some way; it’s the nature of being human. Just like there’s no such thing as a perfect partner or friend, there’s also no such thing as a perfect parent.

Many daughters are afraid to name and see the wound clearly because they’re afraid that they’re betraying their mother and are bound by an unwritten loyalty contract.

But we must name and see our wounds clearly so that we can heal them. And healing the mother wound is one of the most empowering and liberating journeys we can take for when we name the wound and allow our mothers to be fallible and human we can examine the old contracts, write new ones, and set ourselves on a trajectory that allows us to chart our own path, regrow self-trust, step into intrinsic worthiness and the fullness of our light, and receive nourishment from other sources of mothering.

 

In this 40-day course, I offer a roadmap for healing this wound. It’s a personal course and a collective course, for when we heal the mother wound we do so not only for ourselves, but also for the generations that come after us and before us.

 

It’s also collective in the sense that when you gather with a group of women from around the world and learn that your pain and struggles are not unique, several layers of shame fall away. We heal best in community.

I’m so excited to offering this roadmap to you. Like all of my courses, this one has been gestating inside of me for many years. And now it’s ready to be birthed.

 

Are you ready to heal from your mother wound? If so, take my hand and the hands of many other women as we sit in a circle in a sacred grove together and spiral into several layers of healing. I look forward to seeing you there.

When You Sign Up For The Program, You Will Receive:

 – One email from me every day for 40 days which will contain a letter about the mother wound and a gentle action that you can take toward healing at the root.

 – At least one video and several MP3s each week that will offer additional insight and information on that week’s topic and essential visualizations and meditations that will help you connect to and heal your pain, shame, anger, and longing while also growing new pathways of healing, hope, and joy.

 – Access to a private forum specifically for this program. My private forums are exceptionally supportive communities where people feel safe enough to be vulnerable and do very deep work and, while participation is not essential, it can be a transformational part of the course.

 – Group coaching calls where you will have the chance to ask your questions and bring your concerns directly to me. All calls are recorded.

 – Lifetime access to all of the material

The July 2021 round of this course is now full and registration is closed. I’ll be running it again in 2022, and I’ll look forward to meeting you there.

Frequently Asked Questions

My mother is no longer in my life, either because of estrangement or because she’s deceased. Is this course still applicable?
The course is applicable to anyone struggling with a mother wound regardless of levels of contact. So if your sense is that the pain around your mother-loss and the ruptured relationship still looms large and affects your well-being and your other relationships, I encourage you to take the course.
I’ve done a lot of work around this wound through therapy and other places. Should I still take the course?
As I often say in my work, we heal in layers and spirals. If your sense is that there are still more layers that need attention, the course will help you gently spiral into those unhealed places.
I don’t live in the U.S. Will I still be able to access the group calls?
Yes, we either use a bridge line, which has local access numbers, or we meet over Zoom.
I have more of a distant relationship with my mother than an enmeshed one. Could the course still be helpful?

Yes. While many daughters grew up enmeshed with their mothers, many other daughters grew up feeling pushed to the side, neglected and ignored. In either case, there’s a rupture of attunement where the daughter’s needs aren’t acknowledged and tended to, and this is how a mother wound is formed. If you look closely enough, there’s often a fear of engulfment and abandonment in both types of relationships.

Is the content geared toward repairing my relationship with my mother, who I know is toxic?

No, the content is NOT geared toward repairing a relationship with a toxic mother. The course is about healing the mother wound, which for some daughters means staying in relationship with their mother and for others means severing ties. I acknowledge throughout the course that if your mother is abusive in any way and on the far end of the Borderline/Narcissistic spectrum, it’s probably not loving for anyone to continue the relationship. However, some daughters with Borderline/Narcissistic mothers do find healthy ways to remain in relationship with their mother. As always, there are no formulas; there’s only what’s most loving for you. 

31 Comments

  1. If mother didn’t care for me and chose her bf over me & my siblings her whole life and even left me to spend my birthdays alone, weeks at a time left me, threw me out early to move in with her bf & now I seek to find others to mother me because I felt unloved my whole life is this course for me to break the conditioning to do it for myself to mother myself?

    Reply
  2. I can’t take the course this round because we are traveling and moving, but I hope you’ll offer it again in the future because it looks amazing. 🙂 I’d love to be added to a future list, if there is one!

    Reply
    • As long as you’re on my mailing list you’ll be informed of future live rounds. 😊

      Reply
  3. Hi sheryl

    My mum is currently in the end of life phase of alzeimers and it brings me such pain. Would this be the right time to embark on such a course or will I be too raw.

    Reply
    • Mother loss is different from a mother wound. You may have both, but it sounds like you’re actively in mother loss and it may not be the right time to delve into the mother wound. Sending you much love as you navigate this very painful time.

      Reply
  4. Hi Sheryl
    I have my own mother would d but also a dysfunctional relationship with my own daughter aged 23. Will this course help heal that relationship too please?

    Reply
    • Yes, it will help in both directions. The more you heal your own wounding, the more effectively you’re going to be able to show up for your daughter. Of course, I always also recommend individual therapy to address the specifics of your situation.

      Reply
      • I recently had my baby daughter, and have a question in that direction, too.

        I am so afraid that she is (even subconsciously) trying to please me or fulfill my expectations, as she notices my strong feelings around topics, for example where I am sad to let go or particularly happy about some behaviour etc.
        Because I think this must have been me, adjusting my actions not to make my mother sad or disappointed or angry.

        Is this something the course might help with or is it too long a shot?
        I’ve worked with you in another course before and have followed your work for years, but this course feels like it might be exactly the right one for me..

        Reply
        • Yes, Anna, this is exactly what the course will address. I hope to see you there.

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          • I just wanted to book and saw that the course is full. In case any one drops out, is there a possibility for a waiting list? I’m sorry I’m too late.

            Reply
  5. I have blocked out most of my childhood memories. Could this course benefit me?

    Reply
    • If you have a sense that the blocked memories are connected to a mother wound, which is quite likely as blocked memories are often a result of emotional disconnect, then yes.

      Reply
      • Sheryl,

        I am newly pregnant. Is this the right time for this course for me? I definitely can use help growing my wise and loving inner mother.

        Reply
        • Yes, it’s a wonderful time to heal the mother wound and grow your inner mother.

          Reply
  6. If we have done a lot of work on our own mother wounds, however are looking at conceiving at some point – is this a valuable course? To heal to become a mother?

    Reply
  7. Hello Sheryl Paul. Is this for me if I went through a breakup w my ex partner who I realize I made responsible for “mothering” me? Now the relationship is over, it is crippling bc a lot of the childhood wounds have come up around rejection. Will this course help me heal the self sabatoging behaviors that ultimately led to the end of the relationship and take steps to learn to heal those behaviors? Thanks I’m advance!

    Reply
    • I would recommend taking one of my other courses first – Trust Yourself or the 9-month course – and also start personal therapy if you haven’t already.

      Reply
      • Hi Sheryl,

        I took Trust Yourself already and I already signed up for this course. Should I request a refund or can it still be beneficial for me?

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        • I’m also in therapy, been in it for years now. Different modalities. EMDR again now, EFT, TRE and AIT. A lot of work around the trauma and symptoms.

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          • Given that you’ve been in therapy and have already taken Trust Yourself I think you’ll benefit from this course. Looking forward to seeing you there.

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  8. I just signed up for the course. I have two young daughters and
    As I have become more aware of the details of the generational Mother’s wound in my family, I am committed to changing it. I also think this course would be great for my mother who at 73 years of age has a very deep and strong mother wound. I am thinking about recommending this course to my mother. My question is, would that be a bad idea because she would be able to see my posts or comments, which she may find hurtful and may not be healing for either of us. Thank you

    Reply
    • An excellent question. I don’t think it would be a bad idea at all. If you’re concerned about privacy on the forum, I recommend choosing an anonymous screenname. My assistant, Kathryn, can help you with that. The Zoom calls would be trickier, but you could always sign on with a different name and keep your video off.

      Reply
  9. Is it not possible for men/sons to suffer this wound as well?

    Reply
  10. Hi Sheryl, Please add me to your mailing list. I’d like to participate in this course in the future.

    Reply
    • As long as you’re on my mailing list, which I can see that you are, you’ll receive the announcement when the next live round opens.

      Reply

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