Blog
How to Multiply Your Love and Attraction
What would it be like to throw yourself full-bodied and without restraint into love's arms, to set the fear voices and inherited scripts that say, "Love isn't safe" on the fence of your mind and walk through the tattered gates of your heart that are still trying to...
read moreThis is How I Learned to Love My Husband Well
It took me many years to learn how to love my husband well, and, of course, I'm still learning. Like many people, I didn't grow up witnessing a healthy model of true partnership. My parents, like all parents, did the best they could and they gave me many gifts, but...
read moreRemedies for Eco-Anxiety and Absorbing the Pain of the World
The topic of world and eco-anxiety seems to make the rounds in my practice every few months, and last week was one of those times. Between longterm clients, new clients, and course members, the theme was flooding the room. I'd like to break it down for you using the...
read moreA Love Story is the Medicine for the Fear of Loss
It was one of those moments that I could have easily pushed aside and continued on through my evening wrapped in the spiderweb of distraction. It was a moment so small that I almost missed the worlds of beauty and pain that lived within it, like a monarch butterfly...
read moreThis is Why You Struggle with Relationship Anxiety
“Probably the next important evolution of Western humankind is to find a proper container for religious life so that we do not unrealistically expect another mortal human being to carry this high value. In short: don’t ask a human to be God for you.” * Robert Johnson,...
read moreAnxiety screams, “Danger!” But it’s not what you think.
Anxiety insists, "You don't love your partner!" Anxiety declares, "You have a terminal illness!" Anxiety whispers, "You're going to hurt your baby." (Anxiety doesn't always yell; sometimes it's a quiet, convincing voice.) Your job is to say, "Thank you, anxiety. You...
read moreHow to Break Free from the Mental Addiction of Health Anxiety
Like all forms of anxiety, health anxiety is on the rise. With information about our health more available than ever, the anxious mind that seeks control at all costs can easily latch onto health as a hotbed theme that invites this mind to shift into overdrive. You...
read moreReal Love is Available Love
The first part of this post appeared on Instagram this week. I'm expounding upon it here. Real love is available love. It's not the chase. It’s not drama. It’s not longing. It’s not the kiss at the end of the movie or finally snagging the one who got away. Real love...
read moreJoin Me in the Arena with Brené Brown
Last weekend, I watched Brené Brown's show on Netflix and this line, among many others, took my breath away (and gave it back): “Today I choose courage over comfort.” She talks about the shame-storm she fell into after reading the comments when her TED talk went...
read more“The Wisdom of Anxiety” is Coming Down the Birth Canal
In April 2015, I had a dream while on vacation in Los Angeles: Robert Johnson, the Jungian analyst who has informed so much of my work, came to me and said, "It's time to write another book and it's mostly written." I woke up, faithfully wrote it down as I do with...
read moreIntrusive Thought: “I Have to be Single In Order to Heal”
It's a thought that arises frequently for those struggling with relationship anxiety: "I have to be single in order to heal." Offshoots and extrapolations of this thought sound like: • "I have to backpack by myself across Europe." • "I have to live in a loft in New...
read moreThis is What it Takes to Heal from Shame and Anxiety
When I was in graduate school twenty-five years ago, we learned many essential principles and tools for becoming a skilled healer in the counseling arts. We thoroughly covered various modalities, including the depth psychological perspective that informs all of my...
read moreA Brief Guide on How to Grieve
A significant and essential component of any healing process is learning to feel the emotions that were shut down and stuffed away in the dark recesses of childhood long ago: The tears that were squelched under the message of "too sensitive"; the fears that were...
read moreA Lifeline of Hope in the Swamp of Relationship Anxiety
A coaching client recently wrote to me to share the following (shared with permission): Each time of the three times I spoke to you, you told me something that has been a huge lifeline for me: “If two people are willing to make it work, they can make it work.” You...
read moreSelf-Trust, Red Flags and Relationship Anxiety
Just as there are no rules for life, there are no rules for relationships. That statement can be triggering for the ego, the part of us that insatiably demands definite answers and craves formulas. "Tell me how to live and how to love and then I'll know that I'll be...
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