Blog
A Brief Guide on How to Grieve
A significant and essential component of any healing process is learning to feel the emotions that were shut down and stuffed away in the dark recesses of childhood long ago: The tears that were squelched under the message of "too sensitive"; the fears that were...
read moreA Lifeline of Hope in the Swamp of Relationship Anxiety
A coaching client recently wrote to me to share the following (shared with permission): Each time of the three times I spoke to you, you told me something that has been a huge lifeline for me: “If two people are willing to make it work, they can make it work.” You...
read moreSelf-Trust, Red Flags and Relationship Anxiety
Just as there are no rules for life, there are no rules for relationships. That statement can be triggering for the ego, the part of us that insatiably demands definite answers and craves formulas. "Tell me how to live and how to love and then I'll know that I'll be...
read moreA Remedy When You Don’t Know Who You Are
Our culture entrains us not to know who we are. From the time we're born and continuing into our early years, we're conditioned to externalize our sense of self through being told when and how to eat, sleep, play, socialize, learn. Although this may be changing, the...
read moreRegret and the Intrusive Thought of, “If Only I Had…”
As I frequently write about on my site, there are so many ways the mind tries to protect us from the vulnerability, discomfort, and pain of being present, but the one that presents most often in my audience is the defense mechanism of intrusive thoughts. If you're not...
read moreNetflix’s “After Life”: A Walk Through the Valley of Grief
"Though no one can tell us how, we have to work this great battle again and again: to leave the underworld - not to harden - and to make our back into the land of the living." - Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening People often ask me, "How do you grieve?" There's not one...
read moreHow to Decode the Intrusive Thought: “You’re Too Silly”
The relationship anxiety spike, "My partner is too silly" appears often in my work. On the surface this sounds like, "I feel annoyed when my partner is silly." However, as I walk alongside my clients while they deconstruct what's embedded inside the spike, several...
read moreWonder Twins Please Rescue Me From This One Pain
When I was seven years old, my favorite Justice League superheroes were the Wonder Twins. I loved that their magic rings would activate their superpowers. I loved that one shining moment when they locked rings and were transformed into their magical animal and water...
read moreWould You Like To Know Why Real Love Is So Scary?
To listen to this post as an MP3, click below: "We are all made up of yearning and light, searching for a way out, afraid we will be shut in or cut off or repelled back into the ground from which we are reaching. This is enough to begin: To know, before all the...
read moreHow to Grow Love and Attraction to Your Loving Partner
This comment on one of my recent blog posts speaks to the very heart of my work on love and attraction: Sheryl's right - attraction CAN be grown! My husband has the qualities mentioned in today's post in spades(!) + more... and that's what kept me walking the...
read moreAnnouncing an Exciting 20th Anniversary Surprise
Twenty years ago, in February 1999, I created my first website. It was a laborious and painstaking process back then: no high-speed internet, no drag-and-drop, user-friendly website templates, no digital capabilities like uploading images from a smartphone or...
read moreHow One of Netflix’s Top Shows Can Help You Fall in Love with Your Partner
Anxious people aren't typically the most easy-going people on the planet. Because our high sensitivity wires us for hypervigilance, which then causes us to scan the horizon for danger, we're physiologically primed to have a more tightly-wound nervous system. Unless...
read moreHow One Lightbulb Moment Can Ease Your Anxiety
In every session with clients, I drop down into the core of myself, breathing and opening into the vessel of being so that I can listen with the ears we do not see, the ones that hear underneath the top layers stories into the invisible layers where the gem that needs...
read moreFor Men: When You’re Not Attracted to Your Partner
Over the years I've worked with many men who struggled with the attraction issue. In fact, whereas women tend to focus on a variety of spikes from intelligence to social fluency, when relationship anxiety hits for a man it almost always focuses on some aspect of their...
read moreOne of the Anxious Statements I Hear Every Week
One of the blessings of listening to the inner worlds of my global audience is that I hear about the thoughts, feelings, questions, and stories that are archetypal to all human beings. I've written extensively about the various intrusive thoughts that enter my virtual...
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