Blog
The #1 Reason Why People are Scared of Inner Work
Note: You can watch a video version of this topic here. If you were drowning in the churning waters of relationship anxiety and I held out a rope and said, "Grab hold! This rope will teach you how to lift yourself out of the currents of your suffering. It asks only...
6 Common Micro-Transitions that Highly Sensitive People Struggle With
Note: I originally posted this on Instagram, and it struck a chord so I'm expanding upon the initial post here with further guidelines for how to work with this potentially challenging aspect of ourselves. Highly sensitive people often struggle with transitions,...
How the Superhero of Shame Rescues us From this Life-or-Death Matter
At the core of most, if not all, intrusive thoughts and obsessions is the question of enough. It can show up as: • Do I love my partner enough? or • Did I wash my hands enough? But what you're really trying to answer is: Am I enough? I love what Jon Hershfield said in...
Am I Just Convincing Myself That I Love My Partner?
Note: I first published this post in 2011 and it remains one of my most popular blog posts. I'm updating it now to include more relevant language and also concepts that have evolved in the last twelve years about relationship anxiety. *** One of the most common...
Why Kissing is One of Our Most Vulnerable Sexual Acts
The way Hollywood sells it, kissing should happen effortlessly. We should long to kiss our loving partner all the time, and we should be in instant ecstasy the minute the kiss begins. When our partner approaches for a kiss, we should tilt up our head like a young...
This is One of the Best Ways to Get Sexually Aroused
One of the most common statements I hear from women about their sexuality is, "I'm often stuck in my head during sex. Sometimes I'm planning the dinner menu or thinking about what we need from the grocery store. I have a hard time staying in my body." As the body is...
Why “Sex” and “Intimacy” are So Much More Than We Think
On the last round of Sacred Sexuality, we had a Zoom call that dropped us into a space of such tenderness and vulnerability that there were many tears coming from the Zoom squares. This happens sometimes, especially around the topic of sexuality. It's what happens...
The 3 Top Emotions Trapped Inside Every Intrusive Thought
Continuing from last week's post where I talked about the most important part of working with intrusive thoughts is to separate the content from the underneath layers that need attention, I wanted to give some direction about what the three most common emotions are...
This Might be the Most Important Aspect of Healing from Intrusive Thoughts
An intrusive or unwanted thought arrives... What if I don't love my partner enough? What if I'm a different sexual orientation than I thought I was? What if I'm trapped here forever? What if the world ends? What if I don't love my baby? What if I hurt a child? ... and...
During Dark Times, These are the Lights that can Guide us Through
There are different kinds of darkness. Sometimes we head out into darkness to go on a journey—there might be fear or nervousness, but also excitement and curiosity. What glittering stars might guide our way? What might we see once our eyes adjust? Then there is the...
There is Only One Way Through Fear, and I Had to Find it Last Week
Ever since our son, Everest, earned his private pilot's power-plane license a few months ago I've been wanting to fly with him. Maybe "wanting" isn't quite the right word; it's more like I've been wanting to want to fly with him because I wanted to support him and I...
Wise Women Know About Another Way to Live. Are You Ready to Listen?
What follows is the transcription of the first part of this week's Gathering Gold episode called "There is Another Way." To listen to the full episode, click here, or listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. As always, I value your comments and refections. *** I’m here on...
How was Nighttime Anxiety Met When you Were a Child?
Note: I wrote this post when Everest was nine years old. He's now eighteen. Of course, we're long past the time when we would stay with him while he fell asleep at night, but I'm happy to share that we still value connected time before bed. And I'm also happy to...
One Element of Self Trust Hinges on Letting Go of What Other People Think
I had planned to share about something else this week for the podcast. I was going to tell a story about a moment in a corn maze with our family, Victoria, and her boyfriend when we were in New Jersey a few weeks ago. As you can hear in the video below (click on the...
The One Thing that Remains When the Leaves Fall and the Children Grow Up
Note: I posted this on Instagram last week, but as I know that many of you are not on that platform, I wanted to share it here as well. Highly sensitive people are highly attuned to the passage of time. This can show up as:...