When Your Partner Has Relationship Anxiety

IMG_1309Is your partner struggling with relationship anxiety?

Are you wondering how to best support her/him and wondering how to handle your own feelings about it?

Are you feeling lonely, shut out, hurt, and confused by your partner’s distance?


Supporting an anxious partner is a challenging situation, and this short course (excerpted from the full premarital ecourse) will guide you with compassion and wisdom so that the two of you have the best chance of continuing to create a loving partnership. Please note that the information contained in this course is primarily geared toward engaged men, but whether you’re dating, engaged, or married, learning the tools and information you need to support your partner and yourself can allow you to find connection even through this difficult experience.

“The course has helped my husband deal with my anxiety. It has been so reassuring for him to realize he is not alone and that none of my anxiety surrounding this transitions was about him.”

~ Emma, Scotland

Price: $39.00

“This E-Course has been a real gift to my fiancé and myself. I had previously purchased the Conscious Weddings E-Course and had found that to be just so helpful in understanding the anxiety I was feeling around my engagement. The work I had done on myself was wonderful and I was experiencing a lot more serenity.

“However, my fiancé was interested in learning more about this anxiety I was experiencing and wanted to know how to best support me when I was anxious. I had shown him some of the articles from the Conscious Weddings E-Course but he was interested in learning more. He eagerly pounced on the material aimed at him and had a lot of the same ‘a-ha’ moments that I had when I first read the Conscious Weddings E-Course. He was finally able to read in black and white that my anxiety really wasn’t about him. It is something that lives inside me, and has always and would always be there.”

Sophie, New Zealand

16 comments to When Your Partner Has Relationship Anxiety

  • Kristen

    Wonderful blog! It has helped me out so much! Just curious, I’ve suffered from relationship anxiety for about 5 months and then after spending some time with some relatives for a week (changing my scenery basically) I found that it has pretty much gone away. I’m kinda anxious as to WHY it’s gone now (who woulda though that would happen lol) and now I feel so comfortable around my partner, just not the excessive need to show love to reassure myself. Is this normal?

  • Graceling

    Are there any ways that the anxious partner (me)can support the non-anxious partner? My girlfriend has been nothing but supportive but I feel terrible for stressing her out. I’d love to be able to support her if at all possible.

    • That’s a very loving questions, Graceling. I suggest that you limit how much of your anxiety you share with her, as it can become overwhelming for the partner. Also ask her what she needs in order to feel more supported.

  • A Hazelwood


    I feel very much like Graceling. Is there something I can read about that nagging feeling that something is wrong in the relationship? Please help. I am open to anything. I really love my partner and want to be with him. I always feel like something isn’t right. HELP!

  • E

    What about when both partners are experiencing relationship anxiety? Is this a situation that can ever work??

  • Louise

    Hello Sheryl. Ive followed your work for so long, it really has transformed my way of thinking and being, so thank you. I first encountered your work when I myself struggled with anxiety around my partner. I pushed through it, and it was wonderful.. However, I’ve been experiencing it again recently, and to make things harder, so too has my partner. We both feel so stuck In our jobs/ current lives, but we’re not quite sure how to move forward. We don’t know what it is we want to do with our lives, and are both so fearful and indecisive, its paralysing us. We’re each projecting it onto the other person – this sense of being unhappy with the present but unsure how to change. I can feel myself beginning to panic and, in a bid to find some sort of certainty to cling onto, i seek out his reassurance that he one day wants to get married and have children. He can commit to neither, saying he has so much fear that we will fail, and that at times he doesn’t think we’ll make it. He said at times we just didnt click, but other times we did. He said all of this this evening, and I feel totally floored and heartbroken. On the one hand, I understand his fear, his doubt. But its so painful to hear, more so because it echo’s my own. I’m so scared that now i know that he feels this way, it will eat away at me, and I’ll spiral into anxiety, panic, clingy etc. And make matters worse. I’d be so grateful for any advise. I love this man. We’re not perfect, but I’ve come to see that that’s okay. I’m so scared that he’s now thinking that we’re not, and that we’ll collapse. So grateful for any help. Thanks

  • Charlie


    I’ve been dating my girlfriend who suffers anxiety for four years and it has been a soul destroying experience. I love her dearly and try to be as supportive as possible but get no reassurance myself. I feel like a huge cloud of doubt just remains hanging over me and that I’m never good enough. I want to leave the relationship but not satisfied we’ve done everything possible. She keeps wanting to pray to God for an answer (we are both religious) but I keep reminding her it is up to her to seek professional help and do what it takes to overcome the anxiety. No one can do that for her, not even God, but I will be happy to support her in this journey. I want to marry her, always have, but not with this doubt as it tears us apart.

    It’s actually reassuring to know that you believe as long as there are no red flags, then anything is possible…

    What resources do you have for men in my position? I know she can’t give me hope right now for a better future but I’ve run out of positivity…I used to be a very positive person until I met her, but nothing has prepared me to deal with her anxiety and such negativity. It crept up on me like a frog in boiling water. How do I cope?

  • Elizabeth

    Is there more info on what topics are covered in this course? I wanted to suggest it to my partner, but want to make sure it would be helpful and not add more stress.

  • N

    My partner has relationship anxiety, he has been taking your course for some time now and made some good improvements. I signed up as well to the course When Your Partner Has Relationship Anxiety to try and understand/support him through this. I wanted to point out that living with someone with relationship anxiety is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There are days, where you are not sure if this is a type of life you want to live. My partner is unable to express love, show affection or stay connected when he is in an anxious state. He is unable to make big decisions ( getting married/buying a home) without having an anxiety attack. He would doubt our relationship, concentrate on my small flaws and make a big deal out of them. He would go to the darkest corners of his mind and destroy everything that we tried to build. Sheryl’s course definitely helped us understand what we were dealing with and I am glad that he found her website. Being with a partner who has relationship anxiety can be extremely destructive to the partner who does not suffer from anxiety. It is the biggest fight that you will ever fight, anxiety does not go away 100%, but if your partner is willing to put in the work and cast some light into the darkest corners of his/her soul, then don’t give up on them. However, don’t forget about you, get help from a therapist like Sheryl, get informed on relationship anxiety and take time to heal yourself.

    • Hotkitten18

      Would you be open to explaining how you dealt with your partners RA? I’m currently struggling to help my partner, whilst at the same time realising I have RA myself.
      I can already see that you are right about it being extremely hard and possible destructive, as this has really been hard for me even before my own RA kicked in. How did you cope with being with someone that doesn’t seem to want to be with you? And does it get better?

  • Hotkitten18

    Hi Sheryl,
    I’ve done your Trust Yourself (and extended) and the Break Free e-course, and was wondering if this course covers anything further that I need.
    My partner had relationship anxiety and initially I was dealing with it as best I could. But recently, I’ve realised it brought up a lot of anxiety for myself and now I am (we both are) struggling with RA.
    We are working through the BF e-course together and although the work is helping him, I’m now the one struggling and wanting to leave. I know this is the classic pursuer-distancer dynamic, but I was wondering if this course would help with aspects of this dynamic? Also, as per N’s comments before, is there any way to deal with being with someone who, to all extents and purposes, seems to not want to be with you?

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