Birthing A New Mother Course
Are you trying to conceive and feeling frustrated, scared, and hopeless?
Are you anxious about a wanted pregnancy?
Are you overwhelmed by the physical challenges of pregnancy (nausea, exhaustion, weight gain, heartburn) and struggling with anxiety about your unborn baby’s health?
Is your marriage prepared to weather the storm that occurs after your baby is born?
Are you a new mother and suffering from grief that your old life is over, unresolved feelings about the birth, self-doubt, and perfectionism?
Do you long for a community of supportive women to guide you through this life-transforming time?
A loving mother-baby bond is one of the highest predictors of the long-term emotional health of your child. Yet in a culture that encourages you to focus only on the externals of ovulation sticks, ultrasounds, and buying the perfect car seat, you’re bereft of a roadmap and community that can guide you through the emotional terrain of preconception and pregnancy so that you’re prepared to receive your baby with open arms.
From fertility anxiety to grief about letting go of the non-mother identity and lifestyle to fears about giving birth, a circle of experts and I will teach you how to:
• Effectively manage your anxiety
• Bring comfort and meaning to the physical challenges of pregnancy
• Absorb the shock of your new life
• Babyproof your marriage
• Give yourself the best chance to thrive as a new mother
This program is delivered online through eight comprehensive lessons, of which are designed to guide you through the transition of becoming a mother. To see an overview of the lessons, click here.
"This program kindly and smartly guides you through the transition of becoming a mother, even if you're not yet pregnant."
"The Birthing a New Mother Program delivers what every pregnant woman urgently needs: a way to successfully work through the biggest transition of a woman’s life – the birth of a child. It provides pregnant and new mothers with a blueprint for bringing healing consciousness to pregnancy and birth, thus promoting optimal health and happiness for all concerned."
It provides pregnant and new mothers with a blueprint for bringing healing consciousness to pregnancy and birth, thus promoting optimal health and happiness for all concerned.
Dr. Christiane Northrup, author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom
"I just wanted to let you know that I found out a few weeks ago I am pregnant! It's been really exciting and overwhelming by turns. It's been really nice to have a place to go with the Birthing a New Mother Course, though."
I love how it’s structured by trimester, because I always feel like I have some place to go that will point me in the right direction for that particular stage. I’m so grateful to you for writing it! I was thinking just a few days ago, “I wonder if new baby love is a lot like falling into romantic love?” I was feeling a little guilty, honestly, because I don’t really feel connected to my baby yet… it still feels like an idea, not reality. But then I thought about what love would look like and thought it would probably be really intense when I need it (to get me through 2am feedings and the like), and then start to change as my child grows up and starts asserting their own voice, will and personality. And honestly that part is more exciting to me than anything. It was really good to be able to release needing to feel a certain level of excitement or love, and realize I’ll feel what I need to feel along the way…good or bad…and work on loving my child, just like any other relationship I have. I can’t tell you how grateful I’ve been to learn how to feel hard things and grieve even in the midst of good things. It’s invaluable!
Sarah, St. Louis, MO
"Sheryl helped me transform my feelings. She held my hand as I mourned the passing of my old life, my freedom, my identity, and then helped usher me into my new world."
When I first became a mother, I was truly clueless. I did not anticipate motherhood to be so terrifying, and so lonely. I was sure that no one felt like I did. The fears and seclusion of a new mother are simply things our society never discuss. I thought I was so prepared to be a mother! I had read EVERYTHING on pregnancy, labor, and infant care. I only had images of a cooing, healthy, happy baby, and myself all aglow in some kind of lactational bliss. I had no idea how truly paralyzed I would become.
Sheryl helped me transform my feelings. She held my hand as I mourned the passing of my old life, my freedom, my identity, and then helped usher me into my new world. Through our discussions, I found that my original, creative self still lived deep inside the exhausted new me. Eventually, I found the new me was actually just a new version of my old self – with more sadness, more joy, and certainly more wisdom. I was no longer a stranger to myself, and gradually this new world settled. I am so grateful for Sheryl’s gentle guidance.
Sarah, Los Angeles, CA
"In speaking with Sheryl in sessions I have found it enormously helpful having a safe place to talk about all the changes (and there are a lot of them with a new baby) while receiving great advice on how to work with these emotions during this transition."
I discovered Sheryl and her work in Conscious Transitions at just the right time – weeks after my daughter was born. I remember having little to no time for much other than infant care and barely tending to my own basic needs, but craving and so happy to find such solace and support in her website as an outlet for self-reflection on this new wild experience.
I remember spending my very rare, but precious alone time chewing on all the great information on her website about the transition of motherhood, how to stay conscious, how to be in the fog of all the day to day, yet still be present with the joy and wonder of this amazing experience, embracing the present.
As a late-30s new mom, I had the experience of hearing others along the way speak of the post-partum and first year of motherhood as something that was very negative or ‘hellish’. I always found this kind of sad and all I knew was that was not how I wanted to look back on this very special phase of my life as–no matter how hard the newborn care would be! It didn’t fit with my ‘yogi-mentality’ of staying present (or at least attempting to) with experiences, feeling it all and being aware of what life is offering–good or bad moments alike. Sheryl’s work helped me stay true to that part of me.
Also, motherhood being so overwhelming at times, it can be easy to get ahead of oneself which can cultivate unwanted anxiety. Sheryl’s work has also been helpful in reminding me of the collective of motherhood–how not alone we are and remembering we are all in this together. The “one day at a time” is the only approach. This has alleviated a lot of anxiety for me.
In speaking with Sheryl in sessions I have found it enormously helpful having a safe place to talk about all the changes (and there are a lot of them with a new baby) while receiving great advice on how to work with these emotions during this transition. I have and will continue to recommend Sheryl’s site and her services in helping navigate life’s transitions.
M. Nelson, Boston, MA
"This is a wonderfully wise course. It's gentle and yet it's very powerful. I am sure that is the reason I didn't suffer from post-natal depression and the reason that I was able to cope with the setbacks I had during the birth."
I found Sheryl’s work when I was pregnant with my twins. I was looking for someone, or somewhere, online where I could share my feelings about my pregnancy. I was part of an IVF support group for mothers who were expecting twins but I found myself feeling very alienated emotionally from the other women there. I didn’t feel able to “focus on the good”. Somehow that didn’t feel right for me. I was full of ambivalent feelings about giving up work. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to connect to my babies and I felt that I needed to honour the negative in how I was feeling because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be being honest.
“Sheryl’s work immediately made sense to me. I felt safe finally to let my guard down and talk about the fears I had. I loved working through her e-course. Listening to the midwife interview was especially useful for me. I could feel myself at my closest to my animal-self during my pregnancy. I felt the cocoon of pregnancy all around me and it was wonderful to know that the stages of my experience had already been mapped out and discussed by other women. I needed that introspective path and it was a tremendous help to me to have a course that gave me the permission to accept my feelings, whatever they were, and not judge myself.
When it came to giving birth I had a very traumatic experience as I had an emergency C-section and came close to death. I know that the work I did in my pregnancy helped guide me through the horror of the birth. I couldn’t bond with my children the day they were born, and the pain of that and the fear I had of not being able to bond at all with them was overwhelming. I was broken open by my twins’ birth and yet I did recover from that very quickly. I was able to recover because I’d already paved the way emotionally during my pregnancy. I’d prepared myself as best I could by embracing my difficult feelings.
I think it’s a wonderfully wise course. It’s gentle and yet it’s very powerful. Somehow, the process itself of pregnancy and the surrender that happens during that precious time is embedded in the way the course is presented. It’s a heartfelt guide into the experience of preparing to become a mother, and now that I am a mother I feel the benefit of coming to know myself early on in the process. I am sure that is the reason I didn’t suffer from post-natal depression and the reason that I was able to cope with the setbacks I had during the birth.
"Thank you for the Birthing a New Mother Course. I'm loving it already, and I have already told at least five of my friends about it!"
I also wanted to say I really admire the way you have skillfully and appropriately you shared yourself and your own story. It reminds me how incredibly important story and vulnerability are.
- Please note that there are no refunds.
Hi Sheryl, I wish I had thought to look for this course when I was pregnant with my first son. The Conscious Bride was a lifeline for me at the time of getting married and I know this would have been so helpful with the difficult time of early motherhood. Now it’s many years later–I’m completely transitioned and beyond happy as a mom. But now I’m unexpectedly having another baby! I wanted more children so I am surprised that I have such mixed feelings about “going backwards” and rocking the boat within the relationship between my children and my husband and I (it seems we just found some solid ground after difficult years of transition). I wonder if this course would be appropriate–and I’m guessing not so much–if you could recommend any other resources that might be helpful. Thanks!
You don’t need this course, and unfortunately I don’t know of any other resources that address the VERY NORMAL ambivalence about having another child.
We are in our third month of trying to conceive. I am finding the “two week wait” unbearable, and all the googling I do seems to only make it worse. I am worried if I do this course, it might upset me because it includes material for when you actually are pregnant and since I’m not I’m worried if that will just upset me more. What do you think? I have previously done your conscious weddings course and it was enormously helpful.
The two week wait is, indeed, unbearable, and I talk about it at length in the first section of the course. I think the course would be helpful for you; you’ll just have to do the preconception section and then put it away until you conceive.
Dear Sheryl, I am unable to open the teleclass above. I would love to listen to it. I am a midwife and mother of two young girls and re searching literature on birthing and mothering and the thin support there is globally… Olga
Please try on another browser and let me know if that works.
I am wondering if this course is for someone like me? I am not pregnant, but am thinking about it, but become so fearful that every month I decide to “wait until next month.” I feel like I would be great once baby was here, but cant seem to make the leap.
Yes, lesson one is for those in the preconception phase and can be enormously helpful when you’re struggling with ambivalence.
Me and my partner have tried to conceive for many years (without success) and are now, after a long process weeks away from receiving our first adopted child. While I can’t wait for this to happen, since knowing we’ll be parents soon, I have been very anxious. My hormones seem all over the place,…I’m worried about whether I will connect to our new baby and even more, how my relationship to my husband will change. I’m fully employed and would go on maternity leave for a year, which is another worry.
I wonder whether you would recommend this course for me, especially as I’m not sure whether the section about connecting to your child will be based on the fact that the mother has actually given birth.
Can you help?
Yes, I would recommend the course for you since it’s really about the transition into motherhood and has less to do with biology than psychology and emotions. There will be sections that don’t apply to you, but you can easily skip over those and take in what does apply.
I’m very interested in signing up for your e-course but need to wait a month or two until I can fit it in financially. I loved the Conscious Bride and the Conscious Bride Wedding Planner, especially the journaling questions that were part of the planner. Do you have any similar, thoughtful questions for a woman becoming a mother?
Dear Maura, Yes, a significant part of the Birthing a New Mother course is exploring the questions that I offer at the end of each section.
I have been following for your blog for a while and found it incredibly helpful when i was in a new relationship. I have just recently discovered I am pregnant (around 3 weeks). Although it was a planned pregnancy, I am absolutely petrified to the point where I am considering a termination. I do generally suffer with depression and anxiety. However are these feelings about the pregnancy normal? Would this course on a birthing a new mother help me?
Kind regards, Sam
Dear Sam: PLEASE do take the course before you consider termination. Feeling intense depression and anxiety in the early weeks is completely normal and can be worked on. Slow this down and take your time so that you can uncover what’s wanting to be revealed. Sending love, Sheryl
Oh Sam! I feel for you! The exact same thing happened to me 5 years ago… A planned pregnancy, immediate misgivings, depression and anxiety… I only found my way to Sheryl’s work several months after it was too late. I tell my full story in an hour long interview on Sheryl’s Break Free course. If you would like be in touch w me directly, let Sheryl know. Feeling for you and holding you in my heart. These feelings can definitely be worked through, and lead to a healthy, happy transition to parenthood.
Hi Clara, if you are up to it I would love to talk to you about your experience. Not sure if you will see this response as its been a while since you posted. Thanks so much!
Sheryl – thank you for you reply. I will definitely be taking the course. Your words have given me such comfort knowing that its normal to feel anxiety and depression in the first few weeks of pregnancy. At the moment, I’m in a constant state of panic and anxiety I feel I need the support of other women who have been through this. As you have frequently mentioned in one of your blogs, there is very little community support for expectant/new mothers. My own mother died when i was quite young and I have no other female family members/friends that I can turn to. Would it be possible to get in touch with Clara please?
Clara – thank you also for your reply. Your words have instantly lifted me. I thought I was the only one who has ever experienced this. I know I’m supposed to be happy, but at the moment i just feel intense anxiety and grief. I haven’t even told anyone I’m pregnant apart from my husband who is extremely worried about how I’m feeling to the point where he has said he will support me in having a termination if its what I really want. The trouble is that I don’t know what I want anymore because I cant see past the anxiety and depression. I would very much like to get in touch with you and have asked Sheryl for your details.
I’ve sent her contact info via email. I hope you connect with her soon. Sending love –
Thank you so much Sheryl. Already I am starting to feel a little calmer. I look forward to taking the course.
Sam, get in touch any time! I look forward to hearing from you. Hang in there!
I’ve checked my emails and I haven’t received Clara’s contact details. (I’ve also checked my junk folder).
I sent it to the email address associated with your comments. Please email me directly at [email protected] if you’d like to use a different email.
Hi Sheryl! I just signed up for your birthing a new mother course and was wondering how I can sign in to the message boards? I’m a little over 5 weeks pregnant and am struggling with pretty intense anxiety (which is leading to a lot of sadness). So far the course seems absolutely beautiful and so helpful. I really hope I can get through this.
Welcome to the course, Kim! Please contact my assistant at [email protected] and she will help you gain access to the message boards. Also, if you have the Break Free course, Clara’s story is contained in the interview section.
I have a friend who is due her 2nd child in a couple of weeks and her 1st child (now 2 yo) is struggling with extreme separation anxiety. Can you recommend me any articles to help them, please?
I cannot tell you how grateful I am that I have discovered your website. I am currently 7 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. Ever since finding out I was pregnant, I was immediately knocked down with intense anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. I am so anxious all of the time, which has impacted every aspect of my life. I am experiencing multiple panic attacks a day, and can’t stop the “what-ifs” and immense feelings of panic and regret, which then leads to guilt since I should be excited and joyful during this time. I have been constantly reaching out to my doctor and have been seeing a therapist, but it’s discouraging how “uncommon” my symptoms seem to others. I have been very confused because this is a PLANNED pregnancy and I have a very supportive family. I have felt very alone, and it seems that I am the only one who has gone through this, and I am terrified that I will never feel myself again. I am also struggling to understand why I would feel this way being my 3rd pregnancy, like why did I not feel this way the 1st two times. I already signed up for your free course and plan on signing up for the paid one as well. I am desperate to hear from someone else that has gone through this, and have someone who understands. Sam’s story really touched me, and I am praying I can be put in touch with someone to give me a glimmer of hope! I am truely desperate. I hope you can help me, as I don’t know where else to turn. Thank You.
I’m so sorry you’re struggling, and I want you to know that you’re not alone. Anxiety can hit at any time, and I’ve worked with many women whose pregnancy anxiety hit with the third child. I’ll try to get in touch with them and connect you.
Dear Sheryl, I wonder if this course addresses the question of whether I want to have a child or not. I get very confused about “how di I know if I want to have a child?” because while I was growing up it has never been a dream, I never had the “I want to be a mother” desire. It is a dilemma becauser I also never “didn’t want to be a mother”, It has ever been an open ended question.
I see some friends that have known for long that they wanted kids, to have a baby, and I wonder how I am going to know if I never had this feeling? Another friend told me: “At a certain point I felt I wanted to have babies”. And then I wonder if it wold be this way for me.
For my husband it has also been an open ended question. We are married for 8 year now and we never had a plan about having or not having kids.It is not something that we want or that we don’t want for our lives. We could just reply for the moment: now we don’t want to have a child.
However, I’m 35 and many of my friends are having their kids recently, so the subject is continuously emerging. Menopause is something that is not so faraway anymore – in other words, I don’t have all the time ahead of me to decide anymore. I used to think “right now I don’t want it, maybe I’ll want it someday”. But now a few has strike: to get into menopause in my forties and found out that I want to get pregnant when my chances are very lower.
I wonder if this course addresses such feelings. If not, do you have any suggestion of book, or other resources?
I attended your TrustYourself and Open Your Heart programs and I’m thinking about going again through Trust YourSelf bearing the question of motherhood, but I think I need something more tailored for this specific doubt – that is so common nowadays that we have the choice.
Dear Marie: Yes, it’s such a common struggle these days now that we have the choice, and it touches directly on the place of self-trust. As such, I would encourage you to go through the self-trust course again, either on your own or with the group next time I offer it. In the meantime, while this course doesn’t necessarily cover this question in depth, it does touch on it in the first lesson on preconception, and many women have gone through the course with this exact question in mind. In other words, sometimes spending time with material that is directly focused on the motherhood transition can help bring some clarity. The course also relies heavily on journaling, and if you’re not going so already, I encourage you to start journaling daily as a way to find your clarity. If it’s available to you, you might also consider having a coaching session with me as these sessions can be transformational in terms of finding clarity:
Thank you for your valuable suggestions, Sheryl!
I’ve always been a journal person, even if not writing so regularly so to journal is a great reminder!
It’s great that the Trust YourSelf may help me, I’ll go through it on my won and probably take the Birthing a New Mother because I also think it could help me to understand issues related to pregnancy and motherhood, maybe help to vanish out some illusions or false expectations that could be preventing me of understanding if I want or not to be a mom.
I am doing therapy for a few years now and for me your coursers have been very complementary to the therapy work, helping me to address questions that maybe on my own would’t have emerged.
I think the coach session is a good idea for when I’ll have gone a little bit through this resources and have fed this question with healthy throuthful information and practice.
Thank you again for all that you share with us. All the best!
It sounds like you’re on the right path and I look forward to connecting down the road ;).
I am a long standing fan on yours and purchased your conscious transitions course. You have been a huge source of comfort for me.
I am now happily married and my transition into it (whilst at times) was rocky and I grieved for my ‘Single self’ I am now settled.
Onto my next big life transition – I am 7 weeks and 5 days pregnant – we’d been trying for 11 months and each month I felt let down by my body, I wanted to know that everything worked more than anything. To be clear, I wasn’t desperate for a child, but I knew ultimately that I wanted to experience motherhood. Now, I do suffer with anxiety (and that leads to feelings of depression) I know I have some sort of anxiety disorder but up until the pregnancy I’ve managed to self soothe and keep it at bay. Now being pregnant, it is OFF THE CHARTS. I am so terrified, absolutely terrified that something is growing inside me and I have zero control. My other fear is birth itself, I watched a truly horrific birthing video at school which scarred me for life. Hand on heart I know that I will not put myself through it, the thought of it could make me faint right here right now. So I will elect for a Caesar which I know has added complications – the whole pregnancy journey is just not for me but I have to get through it as best as I can. I will seek professional help through this but my question is – do you think this course is appropriate for me?
I am also intrigued as to how Sam got on with her pregnancy in the end! I need to know there is hope. Currently I feel queasy, not in control, anxious and wishing I didn’t have to do this.
Thanks so much and sorry to harp on
Sammy: My heart goes out to you as I know pregnancy anxiety can be debilitating, and yes the course will be a source of support Please read this article (where you can read Sam’s full story, including the happy ending):
Also, a woman who suffered from IMMENSE pregnancy anxiety just reached out to me to say that she would like to support women going through this (she now has a five month old). Would you like me to put you in touch with her?
Hi Sammy G,
I’m the woman Sheryl mentioned above who had the horrible pregnancy anxiety. I would bolt awake in the middle of the night sweating, shaking and in tears, waking my husband up and telling him I needed to have an abortion. I’m not sure if your anxiety is more around pregnancy, birth or motherhood itself, but I truly feel that if I could get to the other side of that soul-crushing anxiety, than anyone can.
My first thought reading your post was how excited I am for you. While my anxiety centred more around giving birth and being a mom than the pregnancy itself, having a baby has truly been the greatest joy and blessing. More than that, the anxiety itself has been the greatest blessing. It forced me to grow in ways that I am still reaping the benefits from – more sure of myself, more confident, more self-love and self-trust. It expanded me in ways that allowed me to become the best mother I can be for my baby – and I truly feel that now as a mother I am a more expanded version of my pre-motherhood self. Anxiety is always a call for growth, and as such it is a blessing.
I too suffered from anxiety my whole life, but always managed to keep it at bay. There’s something about getting pregnant and knowing that there is TRULY no escape from the situation that forces you to finally face your anxiety and learn its lessons. I also think part of pregnancy anxiety is hormones, especially in the first trimester!
I also want to mention that I too was terrified of birth and thought I’d have an elective C-Section. Happy to say I gave birth naturally and survived it ? I would really recommend checking out Hypnobirthing, as well as some positive birth podcasts. They totally changed my mindset and I was actually excited to give birth toward the end of my pregnancy. You can find some hypnobirthing videos on YouTube, which will show you that birth doesn’t have to be the “horror” that we see in movies and on TV. Your body was built for it and knows how to do it quite well.
If you want to contact me directly, feel free! Good luck on your journey ?
I was wondering if this course was appropriate for mother’s that think they have post partum depression. I have dealt with anxiety for a very long time but seemed to keep it at bay. When I got pregnant and the doctors told me I was more prone to postpartum depression, I spiraled. I was constantly worried about getting it and sure enough about 4 weeks in I started fixating on the symptoms and I’m not sure if I actually have postpartum depression or not or if I’m making many of these symptoms appear because of how anxious I was to get it. I’ve talked with the doctor about it and agreed that I would go back to therapy if I needed too but I was curious about this course because I would really like to figure out why I feel anxious and not be given techniques to mask it more. Thank you!
As it sounds like your anxiety pre-dates becoming a mother and has been with you for a long time, I recommend starting with my book The Wisdom of Anxiety.
I ordered the book yesterday and it’s arriving today! Thank you!
Hello Sheryl, I am wondering what course will be most adequate for me. I was very interested in trust yourself, as I am aware this is one of the roots of my anxiety (I did your relationship anxiety course and found it profoundly valuable). But I am also 8 weeks pregnant, veeery happy and also starting to anticipate in my head anxious situations for me related with the aéreas where I feel less confident myself and having a new responsibility I get scared, becarse of my anxiety experiences in the past, also at times I get back into relationship anxiety looops in my head. I am 39 years old so don’t feel so much grief about letting go the past but get anxious about the future, wondering if I made the right choice, if the relationship is going to be ok, how perfectionist I could be as a mum… what course would you recommend me?
I recommend this one :).
Hello Sheryl! I took your course on relationship anxiety before getting married and it helped a ton. I am now having an unplanned pregnancy and having feelings of sadness for this sudden unexpected unplanned change in my life. Wondering if this course covers this.
Yes, it does.
Hi there Sheryl, I always find such solace in your work. Thank you 🙏 I’m very interested in this course. I just found out that I’m pregnant and have been struggling daily over the fears I have around unhealthy choices I made prior to knowing that I’m pregnant. Does this course go into helpful exercises around those fears? Many thanks
Yes, it does.
I am no stranger to your work–your Conscious Weddings and BFFRA courses saved my life. I have been married for 6 years now and while our marriage isn’t perfect (and isn’t that the point?) I do not doubt my decision and know that I am with a good, loving partner. Somehow though, even with all of that work I was not expecting the level of anxiety I currently feel being 6+ weeks pregnant. My pregnancy journey has been a bit atypical and that is why I am emailing to see if this course is still appropriate for me–after 5 failed rounds of IVF my husband and I made the decision to pursue pregnancy through an egg donor. I was elated when I initially found out I was pregnant but over the past month my anxiety has been steadily increasing. Things have been complicated by the fact that we also decided to purchase a home which has been an exciting and terrifying process. I thought my anxiety would go down once the home purchase was finalized and we had the 6 week ultrasound but if anything my anxiety is only increasing. I don’t want to go back to my old life, I want both of these transitions, I just don’t know how to get through them with this level of soul-crushing anxiety.
So my question is: have you had women go through your course who have gotten pregnant through egg-donorship and do you think this course is appropriate for me?
Thank you for all that you do, your work is truly a gift,
Christie: It sounds like the course would be incredibly supportive for you. The work applies no matter how you conceived (and it sounds like it’s anxious mind telling you that you’re the exception because of how you conceived; that’s textbook anxious mind ;)).
I’m newly pregnant (5 weeks!), from a planned pregnancy, and am FREAKING OUT. I was nervous the whole time we were trying, as I had such bad relationship anxiety during our marriage transition, and the awareness of more transitions terrified me, but I decided to move forward anyway because I did not want fear to choose my future for me. SO, now I am indeed pregnant, but it’s hit me reallly hard. I cry daily and feel incredible anxiety. I thought about termination, but again, I’m not letting fear choose for me. So, for now I’m moving forward but feeling very unsteady, and mainly afraid that I will feel numb throughout the child’s life and it will ruin their life and my own. I want nothing more than to be connected to my child, and for them to know how special they are, but currently I just feel paralyzed. I’m going to sign up for your course, and it would also be lovely to be in touch with previous suffers to hear how things have unfolded! Thank you!!
I’m glad you signed up for the course, and this article should help:
My wife and I have begun the family planning process. We are a same-sex coupIe, and I will be the non-biological and non-gestational parent. I’m not comfortable being pregnant due to gender identity, however I’ve been having anxiety and intrusive thoughts around connection with our future child due to not having a “biological connection”. I have had pretty intense relationship anxiety and have already taken the break-free course, and truly have grown so much from it. I was wondering if this pregnancy/birth course would be applicable for my particular situation, as I feel the anxiety is coming up for me similarly to other relationship anxiety that I’ve had. Thanks!
Hi! While the course is more geared toward the gestational parent, there is plenty of information that is applicable to the transition itself and the anxiety it can unleash. I think you would get a lot out of it :).
I read Your great Wisdom of Anxiety book which was recommended in Sheva Rajaee´s book on ROCD.
two weeks ago my wife and me found out that we are having a baby!
My wife always wanted one and I for a long time said, I couldn´t handle it, because of my long history with Depression and Relationship Anxiety.
We had a huge crisis eventually and almost separated but came back together and got married in July.
I love her very deeply and we have a great relationship, but now that we are pregnant, I can feel anxiety, if I really wanted this, if it´s going to affect my work, if I can really be a good father etc.
Do You think the course could be helpful for me as well?
Thanks so much for Your answer.
Thanks for reaching out. I wish I could say that this course would be relevant for dads, but it’s really oriented toward mothers. I recommend this book:
I am recently married and have been thinking about being a mom for over a year now. I’m still a little ambivalent but leaning more towards a yes. I feel deeply that I’m meant to be a mom and create a family, I think my fears are just that – fears. Wondering if the Birthing a New Mother Course also helps with women who are only contemplating pregnancy? Thanks so much!
Yes, there’s a section on preconception that addresses the fears that arise during this stage.
I am expecting with our very wanted second child and realizing that, while I’m not becoming a mother for the first time — I am struggling a bit with the transition. Our first is 5 and will be 6 when the baby is born. Because I have had so much time with him – we have such a strong bond that I never take for granted. The first trimester has hit me hard – with exhaustion and nauseous and I already see how I am not able to ‘show up’ at the level I always have for him. I just don’t have the energy right now to do all the things at the level I always have. I’m starting to experience some anxiety and grief over how our relationship might change with another. I’m also having a bit of health anxiety (though I am healthy), as a result of the physical changes / demands of the first trimester and just not feeling up to my normal energetic self. Would this course still be good for me or would you recommend another. Many thanks! Jessica
Hi Jessica: Congratulations on number two. The course is geared toward first time mothers, but it’s also a roadmap for walking through the grief and fears that arise around motherhood. However, given the other work that you’ve done on yourself, you likely already have this roadmap :). Everything you’re describing is textbook normal when one becomes two. The anxiety is a cover-up for the grief, so the more you allow yourself to grieve, the quieter the anxiety will become.
Awe! You remember me:) I didn’t know if you would! I appreciate your response so much. And really reminds me that while I always want to dive into the more ‘heady’ work … because it feels more comfortable for me when I am having anxiety — that instead it is time to really put all the work I have done into practice ‘being with’ and ‘going through’.
Hi Sheryl, I had a baby 6 months ago and the transition to new motherhood was very tough. I’m doing a lot better now, but I’m wondering if this course would still help in the adjustment to my new life, or would it have been better for me to do it before my son was born.
Hi Natasha: Yes, this course can be worked through retroactively and it will offer containment and comfort for the transition.