Loss and Uncertainty
One of the core spokes of the wheel of anxiety and intrusive thoughts in the need for certainty. The fear-and-control-based ego believes that if it can just answer this one question (and that question shifts), it will hedge its bets and find the certainty it desperately seeks.
Yet, in our constantly shifting inner and outer worlds, the attempt to find irrefutable certainty is a losing endeavor which only creates more anxiety. The healing path is to learn how to drop into the flow of life – which largely means learning to feel and tolerate loss – and create healthy anchors and islands to ground you up as you swim along the ever-changing currents of life.
To delve deeply into this topic and receive a powerful roadmap for how to remain grounded amidst the uncertainty of life, please see my course Grace Through Uncertainty
In the Flow of this Uncertain Life
Last weekend was a challenging one for my family. The week of unrelenting rain here in Colorado created overflow in the creeks, and we were faced with a situation that was frighteningly close to the floods of 2013 as the normally gentle waters behind our house surged...
The Escape Hatch of Perfection
There are so many ways that we can avoid pain. We can choose denial. We can self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. We can fall prey to fear/ego's insidiously convincing beliefs that to turn inward is "selfish, indulgent, and will get you nowhere." We avoid pain because...
Living with Uncertainty
I grew up on a safe, tree-lined street on the West side of Los Angeles. We lived two blocks from the 405 freeway, one block from a strip mall that included a bank, Marie Calendars restaurant, McDonald's, and Kentucky Fried Chicken, and across a busy street was Pic...
Health Anxiety and the Fear of Loss
As highly sensitive people we're physiologically wired to look for what's wrong or amiss. While this hypervigilence once served us and our community extremely well when we were living in the outback or jungle and we were the first to scan the horizon to notice the...
Grace Through Uncertainty
“Whether through birds in snow, or geese honking in the dark, or through the brilliant wet leaf that hits your face the moment you are questioning your worth, the quiet teachers are everywhere. When we think we are in charge, their lessons dissolve as accidents or...
The Fear of Losing Control
When we spiral down into the deeper layers of anxiety - whether relationship anxiety or any other form that anxiety takes - we find some universal root causes that live at the center. These exist on both the emotional and psychological/spiritual planes, and they all...
You Can’t Stop the Waves but You Can Learn to Surf
At the core of anxiety - whether health anxiety, death anxiety, relationship anxiety, or generalized anxiety - is the need for safety. As I've been writing about in my last few posts, left to our own unguided minds, the ego will latch onto our stories to try to gain a...
The Need for Certainty
Last Tuesday we were riding our bikes in gorgeous, 70-degree spring weather. On Wednesday we woke up to a foot of snow and a power outage. There's a saying in Colorado that goes, "If you don't like the weather, just wait fifteen minutes." This is true every day of the...