It is High Time to Reclaim What is Rightfully Yours

by | Dec 24, 2023 | Sexuality | 9 comments

Among the many things that have been stolen from us as women, our pleasure and desire are perhaps two of the most harmful. Pleasure is our birthright. Desire is the pulse that links us to every living thing on the planet, and possibly the universe. When we’re disconnected from pleasure and desire, we lose access to our fire, our creative impulses, and our love of life.

Why has this been stolen from women? Why have we been brainwashed to believe that our bodies are shameful and our sexuality is sinful? Because men could see that our sexuality was intimately linked to our spirituality, and that it’s how we make worlds rumble and shake. They could see the power of our fire and they felt threatened by it, so they devised systems and theologies to convince us that were born in shame and sin.

We are not born in sin. We are born in beautiful connection to the miracles of our bodies.

We are not born in shame. We are born in love with the natural beauty of our bodies and their ability to bring delight.

Another way that the patriarchy had co-opted female sexuality is by convincing us that we can only allow our desire to unleash when we’re with a partner – and according to many theologies, that partner must be a man. Either way, this damaging and constrictive belief creates a system of ownership that leads women to believe that their sexuality is only valuable in relation to someone else.

Contrary to everything you’ve been conditioned to believe throughout centuries of brainwashing, you and you alone are the keeper of the flame of your pleasure and desire. You do not have an obligation to share your pleasure with anyone. Your sexuality is valuable simply because it exists, and any belief that attempts to convince you that you have a contract that says you owe it to someone else is wrong.

Your sexual-creative-spiritual energy (they’re all connected) originates inside of you and is a fire that either dies down to an ember or is fanned into flame depending on your relationship to it. Shame is a dampener; when you’re mired in shame about your body and your sexuality, desire dies down.

But there are ways to rekindle the fire. There is a roadmap to free yourself from shame’s shackles so that you con retrieve the pleasure that is rightfully yours. This is what I offer in my course, Sacred Sexuality: A 40-day course for women to heal body shame and ignite desire. The next live round will start on January 13, 2024, and I very much look forward to connecting with you there. The course includes a highly moderated forum and three live coaching calls, which will be held on the following dates. If you can’t make sure live calls, you will receive a recording afterward:

Call 1: Tuesday January 16th at 4pm ET
Call 2: Thursday Feb 1 at 1:30pm ET
Call 3: Tuesday Feb 13th at 3:30pm ET

** Note: This course is for anyone who identifies as female, whether single or in a relationship. **

To listen to last year’s Gathering Gold episode on Sexual Sovereignty, click here.

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9 Comments

  1. This course has been empowering beyond what I could imagine possible. I could heal so much during the course.
    Thank you always Sheryl 🤍

    Reply
    • That’s so good to hear, Georgina. Sending big hugs! ❤️❤️

      Reply
  2. I apologize as I feel like this could be a long comment, but I just wanted to share a significant experience I’ve had around this upcoming course. Yesterday I opened this post and felt immediately triggered (a lot of my OCD is focused in this area). Particularly parts that talk about “igniting desire”- i just immediately go “NO! That is the LAST thing I want to do!” I thought about journaling on why but it was Christmas Eve so it was really late when I finally got to bed so I figured it could wait. However, I ended up having an interesting dream:

    Something in the beginning involved Brian (a dear friend of mine that I also have a crush on- though we are not an item). Unfortunately I don’t remember details, I just know he was part of it. Then I was in this store- like at a mall- with my mom and my grandmother. They left the store and I stayed trying to look for make-up- Honeybee Gardens red lipstick to be exact. I was trying to hide the fact that I was looking for it from my grandmother, but somehow my mom sort of knew and was in support of me getting it. But even though there were tubes of it everywhere, when I opened them, they were all used. The only unused ones were the wrong brand. I even felt wrong for wanting red lipstick because it’s “too sexy.”

    I even rejected one because it was called “risque” (which is an actual Honeybee Gardens color). At that moment a dad and two little kids were coming behind me trying to get to the register, and I was almost frantic trying to get away from them. Meanwhile, there was pressure that I was taking too long to follow my mom and my grandmother. The last thing I remember is opening a drawer that had a slightly less bright and red lip GLOSS, but it was still the wrong brand.

    I’ve been thinking about the dream off and on all day, because from listening to the most recent podcast, it is not lost on me the metaphor in searching for the red lipstick, combined with other dream elements such as Brian, hiding all this from my grandmother and the pressure to follow her so she didn’t suspect anything. Especially the fact that the looming cloud of my intrusive thoughts is very present in the dream.

    I know I’ve been on the fence about taking this course before because I thought it might be too triggering. Earlier this year I was discussing this with my OCD therapist, and talking about moving towards exposure therapy on this subject (most of my therapy this year has been addressing contamination and fears of throwing up). I told her about this course and that it could potentially be a good opportunity for exposure therapy, but then felt like I couldn’t do it after seeing the email. But after having that dream it makes me wonder if I should at least give it a try? Maybe take it slow and pause when and if I need to? I don’t know if this is important or not but it felt like I should mention that the only way I’ve made it okay with me to interact with Brian was to do it on the intellectual/emotional level and not focus on the other part at all. Any time it comes up I feel like I have to shoot it down. It was honestly sort of a relief even though I was disappointed when he said he wasn’t in a place to think of anyone as more than friend, cause I have no idea how I would’ve handled it if we had become an item.

    Reply
    • Riley, there’s much gold here! Thank you for sharing the dream, and I’m glad you made the association to the “red”, and I hope also to “Honeybee Gardens” :). It sounds like there is an invitation in the dream to explore your sexuality, and to do so separately from a man as I do think it’s significant that you can’t remember much about Brian in the dream. He’s not the most important part. The important part is to reclaim what is yours, what has been stolen by the patriarchy which, sadly, is often passed down through the mother line. And yes, if you do decide to take the course you can take is very slowly, at your own pace, pausing whenever necessary. That’s actually how I recommend taking all of my courses, but especially if there’s any trauma associated with the topic. And with sexuality, there almost always is, for everyone. Sending hugs.

      Reply
      • That’s a very interesting point, and I think you’re totally right. The trauma and intrusive thoughts around sexuality definitely started long before Brian, and I think the trauma probably even started before the intrusive thoughts. I do think, though, while absolutely not the most important part, there is that piece of it where I have felt a lot of shame for being attracted to or caring about a man because of things that my grandmother said to me and/or around me. But I’m sure that there’s a lot more going on that I might not even realize, so I think I will give the course a try and see how it goes.

        Reply
  3. What exactly do you mean when you say the course is for people who identify as female? If the course is aimed at anybody based only on identity, I think it might not be for me at this time. I won’t get into detail here but because of my trauma, I strongly prefer and feel safe with natal women only when it comes to discussing sexuality.

    I also know growing up in a female body brings about unique struggles regardless of identity. Does the course recognize the things that are highly anatomy-specific?

    I get that this is a VERY personal subject and taboo to bring up but I feel it’s important to clarify. I hope no one attacks me.

    Reply
    • It’s an excellent question, Ana, and I’m so glad you’re asking it. First let me say that this is a VERY safe community (it’s not social media!) and I’ve very rarely – if ever – seen someone get attacked here. It just doesn’t happen on my blog or in my courses. To answer your question: The first part of the course does cover things like shame about your body growing up, the menstrual cycle, and other anatomy specific topics – so yes, that part of the course is geared toward those who grew up in a female body. I never know who signs up for my courses, but I can assure you that you will feel safe.

      Reply
      • Thank you for your compassionate reply. I haven’t seen the roughness of social media on this page either but I’ve been ruthlessly shamed for my well thought-out views about femaleness before so the possibility is in the back of my mind. Thanks again – your blog and book alone have given a lot of comfort and practical tips when it comes to all kinds of anxiety. Regarding the previous post, I hope science will hop on board with these more “Jungian” views as well. I’ve seen many of them work in my own life.

        Reply

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