I love your outlook on the subject of consciousness. I started studying in this field back in 1981.
Through out my life I’ve gone through many trnsistions and had the tools from my ‘tool box’.
the transition I’m in right now though, none of my tools seem to be working. I’m 61, divorced, family member shave died, changing careers (age related) and honestly going through a very deep anxiety. Do you have any recomendations. Peers doen’t seem tohelp the situation… they don’t want to talk about it ina a healing way.
Or so it seems to me… it’s more comlicated than chosing between mauve or purple napkins.
I would suggest you sign up for my free ebook on Conscious Transitions. It’s a good starting point for my work. And please read “Transitions” by William Bridges.
I just got engaged to a wonderful man who treats me with the greatest respect. Although he is more serious than I thought I would end up with – his loving, calm and very patient personality is very easy to be around. We do laugh and have fun too. He is really everything I could hope for- and a day after I recieved the most beautiful ring my heart was thrown into a severe panic!!! Do I know him enough?? Am I really in love- or is this just a good match?? (Seriously- I don’t feel IN LOVE! I thought I did once- maybe) Is he too serious?? Am I too immature?? What if I get to a week before and I panic like I am now?? Maybe I should NEVER get married– Maybe I can’t do it?? We are also Christian and so have not been with each other intimately- and then thoughts come– Maybe he won’t be any good at sex– Maybe I won’t be any good at sex!! I have been filled with anxiety on and off for a few weeks. I have prayed – and tried to talk to friends– but I’m so afraid people will think I am crazy. My family thinks he is wonderful. My friends think he is wonderful. I know his deep goodness– and here I am terrified!!!!! My parents had a horrible marriage- and so that hasn’t helped me much. But all of my friends are in very healthy and happy marriages– my sister thinks he is a dimond in the rough- a real treasure. Anyway…I am going on and on. I’m sure you can see the fear. I just want to say that I happened upon this blog and I am so grateful!! I feel for the first time in weeks– more normal!! I have wanted to get married for so long- and here I have finally arrived at the gate- and I’m learning I am afraid of flying!! I love my life- I love what I do- my friends- my free time- I want my life to move on- but I am just afraid!! Bla!
I hope you’ve read more of my blog to know that you’re in the right place and every single worry-what-if question you’ve shared above has been shared by everyone who finds their way here! I urge you to sign up for the free e-course sampler and consider the entire course as it will help you move through your fear and choose love:
Hello – thank you for your website and all the posts, it is already helping me so much! I’m going through a rough anxiety period – it has been going on for ten days. I have been with my partner for ten years and things are going well – we get on well, he is caring, he makes me laugh and vice versa. We talk about engagement and I feel scared, I feel like I can’t breathe. But I have moment where I feel fine. I also have some issues as I seem to have this hollywood movie vision of relationship at times and then worry. The anxiety come from a meeting I had last week with a kinesiologue (supposed to be) and she basically told me after asking me a few questions that I should leave my boyfriend, that I am with him for convenience, that I am lying to myself. I feel that she played with my fear and doubts. As you can imagine, I felt terrible during and after the meeting with that woman (i had gone to see her for a health condition i have and it derived on the relationship issue). As soon as I left, I told everything to my partner as I felt I had betrayed him. That lady also told me that I should listen to that fear and leave. Although I am convinced that this is all rubbish, I feel terrible, I feel numb, I feel empty and I don’t know if I love him anymore. I also have been crying a lot. He feels terrible seeing me like this and is starting to wonder if I do love him. He is away for 8 days and want to get over this and truely understand what I want. Everytime I feel I miss him or something, I have this inner voice telling me that I am convincing myself, that it is all a lie. I feel so lost and scared. Furthermore, I am not employed at the moment and therefore have too much time to think and I am at the same time stressed about my career. I thank you so dearly for your help – I am already grateful for your website and articles. Kind regards from Switzerland.
Floriane, I don´t give to much credit to a person who tells you what to do, less when you have seen this person only once. I believe that everyone has its free will… and you could go deeper inside you because you know what you want and who you are.
Leave fears aside because they only wants us to be confused and sad.
I am so grateful I stumbled across this blog when I searched “falling out of love”. Everything I have been feeling the last few months (while dating a wonderful, calm and intelligent man for almost 2 years now), is iterated by so many other women here! I’ve wanted a man just like my boyfriend for over a decade and now that we are settling into a “comfortable” relationship with the stresses of everyday life and talking about marriage and children, I am scared I can’t do it. I wonder if he will be happier with someone else or if I’ll be happier single for the rest of my life. But it’s so assuring to see that I am not alone and reacting normally given the stress and trauma from my past relationships. I can’t wait to read more and find tools to use in my efforts to work on my relationship anxiety and learn how to be emotionally intimate with him and unafraid of commitment. Thank you for this resource!!!
You’re welcome. I’m glad you found your way here.
I have been dating a guy for the past 5 years our whole relationship has been a wonderful experience. He is caring kind and loves me more than i think anyone else could. I loved him incredibly until i started having doubts a couple months ago. I woke up one morning and something was different i couldn’t look at him in his eyes and i felt this anxiety come over me. The thought of me not loving him has broken my heart. My feelings tend to fluctuate a lot one minute i do love him the next i dont and then i think maybe i am just trying to convince my self that i love him. Everyone tells me maybe its time to move on and break up with him but something doesnt let me !!! Theres times where i find myself hysterically crying at the thought that i might have to end things with him because the last thing i want to do in this world is hurt him. I just want things to go back to normal ughhhh
You’re in the right place, Diana. Read through my site and consider the Conscious Weddings E-Course, and you’ll see that there’s no reason to walk away from your wonderful man. It’s fear creating the wall and you can learn tools to work through the fear.