I'm a devoted wife, a grateful mother, a little sister to three big brothers, a lucky daughter, and a soulmate to my soul-sister friends. I pray at the temple of nature and open in the presence of poetry. I'm inspired by the challenges and gifts of being in a human body, and I feel most alive when I'm connected to gratitude, to the present moment and, mostly, to love.

I’m deeply passionate about every aspect of transitions – from teething to adolescence, becoming a wife or husband, becoming a parent, moving, changing careers, etc. I’m endlessly fascinated by the cycles of death-liminal-rebirth that transitions follow, from the changing of the seasons to the arc of our lives.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by the breaking and renewal points in a human life, the cycles of nature, even the beginning and end of a new day. Through my early research I learned that, while indigenous and traditional cultures have elaborate rituals designed to guide their members through every life change, our culture leaves its members alone and bereft of the simple yet time-honored information that can make the difference between stumbling through transitions blindly and emerging on the other side as a more authentic, compassionate, and wiser person.

Through Conscious Weddings and Conscious Motherhood I’ve attempted to fill the gap around two of the most significant transitions in a woman’s life; with this site I hope to fill the gap around transitions in general, from the more obvious life transitions like moving, changing jobs, ending a marriage, and midlife to the more subtle changes like passing through the seasons and holidays, showing how transformational each of these can be when we approach them with courage and consciousness.

Transitions are one of the primary lenses through which I view and understand the world. Personally and professionally, the context and language of transitions help me make sense of life. Whether it’s my sons’ teething or my clients feeling anxious during their engagement, when I remember to contextualize the event through the archetypal pattern of letting go-liminal-rebirth, the anxiety and challenges are eased and I guide us into a more harmonious alignment with the transition at hand. This is what it means to walk through a transition with grace; we don’t fight it or resist it, but allow for the necessary emotions to move through us until we arrive at the other side stronger and wiser than before.

If you’re unfamiliar with my work, please take a few moments to read the tab entitled, “An Overview of Transitions.” It will give you a basic context for every transition you’re going through as well as a vocabulary for understanding my posts.

I look forward to connecting with you here! And if you’re enduring a specific transition that you’d like me to address, please let me know through the contact page.

***

Sheryl Paul, M.A., pioneered the field of bridal counseling in 1998. She has since counseled thousands of people worldwide through her private practice, her bestselling books, “The Conscious Bride” and “The Conscious Bride’s Wedding Planner,” and her websites. She’s regarded as the international expert on the wedding transition and has appeared several times on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”, as well as on “Good Morning America” and other top television, radio, and newspapers around the globe. Phone and Skype sessions available internationally.

Alanis Morissette

The 2010 Interview

It was an honor and a joy to speak with Alanis Morissette back in August about her recent transitions into marriage and pregnancy.

Consistent with her musical style, Alanis spoke with honesty and courage about the challenges she encountered during her engagement.

I’m deeply grateful for her willingness to help break the taboo that the engagement is supposed to be only a happy time and talk about her commitment to, in her words, “barrel through the fear thoughts” so that she could evolve toward love. I’m sure you will derive immense comfort and inspiration from her story.

Click the Play button to listen to this hour-long interview now:

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Right-click here to download the interview to keep. (Choose Save Link As... or Save Target as…)

Learn from Alanis’ Lyrics about Relationship Transitions

Over the next three weeks I’ll be writing a series of “Alanis-inspired” posts. The seven topics will be on where one of Alanis’ songs intersects with the seven lessons of my Conscious Weddings E-Course: From Anxiety to Serenity.

For example, Lesson 2 of the E-Course is called “Why Is My Partner Driving Me Crazy?” or Understanding Projection, and her song will be Madness.

In other words, I’ll be writing about how each of the seven songs elucidates a key point of the wedding transition.

Here’s one of my favorite quotes from the interview (which dovetails beautifully with Lesson 4: What If These Feelings Mean I’m Making a Mistake? or Accepting Uncertainty):

“The challenge was to be about to discern between the loud voice saying, ‘No! Don’t! Stop!’ and the truth. For me, I had to be able to stop and discern where that voice was coming from. Is this actually true? Am I actually making a mistake? Or is that I’m outside of my jurisdiction and in new territory that’s terrifying and my ego wants me to go back to my old comfortable ways.

“I had to not be reactive and say, ‘Okay, because I’m freaking out I’m calling it off’ or hit the pause button. Sometimes the pause button is great but for me I just wanted to barrel through the fear thoughts knowing that there were going to be a lot of voices that were attached to me being an individualistic person.”

∼ Alanis Morissette

Thank you, Alanis, for your willingness to be honest and vulnerable, for your commitment to your own healing, and the healing of the planet. Let us all barrel through the fear and evolve in love.

Are you anxiously engaged and feeling scared about getting married?

Tired of feeling anxious about getting married? Wishing that you could feel close to your partner again?

The Conscious Weddings E-Course is the anti-anxiety medication for your soul.

It’s an instant download of comfort, inspiration, and practical tools for managing your anxiety and realizing your clarity and love.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. Here’s what Alanis Morissette said:

“Sheryl’s work was indispensable in helping me soothe and address my fears and anxieties around my engagement and approaching wedding day. Without her guidance, wisdom and assurances, my overwhelm may have clouded what turned out to be one of the calmest and most incredible days of my life.”

∼ Alanis Morissette

This is the only e-course available to help you transform your engagement anxiety and marriage fear into clarity and serenity.

It includes seven downloadable lessons of exclusive videos, MP3 interviews, articles, checklists, and exercises.

Click here to find out more about The Conscious Weddings E-Course…

Don’t miss out on the upcoming Alanis-inspired series!

The seven new blog posts about Alanis’ songs will appear here (below the “Sign Up” button) as they’re published, but you don’t have to worry about remembering to come back here every few days.

Just sign up here for the Conscious Transitions eZine to have them delivered straight to your email inbox for free.

You will continue to be notified weekly after this Alanis series about other posts on life’s transitions.

You will also receive my new 78-page eBook Conscious Transitions: The Seven Most Common (and Traumatic) Life Changes absolutely free, as a Thank You gift.

You can unsubscribe at any time, there are no strings attached, and I will never sell or share your email address.

Live Interview with Alanis Morissette
I'm delighted to announce that on Friday, September 16th at 7pm EST (4pm PST), I'll be interviewing Alanis Morissette LIVE! As most people know, Alanis speaks with honesty and wisdom and isn't afraid to delve into the deeper aspects of her life, ...
Alanis and the E-Course: Lesson 7 (Incomplete)
“I’m redefining for myself what a marriage is.” - Alanis from The Interview Lesson Seven of The Conscious Weddings E-Course is "What Does Marriage Mean Today?" The short answer, as Alanis states above, is that marriage today is whatever you wa...
Alanis and the E-Course: Lesson 6 (Ironic)
“It was a huge existential crisis and there was no way to slither out of it.” - Alanis in the Interview on her engagement transition Embedded in every transition is the opportunity to practice letting go. When we become adolescents, we let go of...
Alanis and the E-Course: Lesson 5 (Thank U)
“Every morning I had the luxury of carving out two hours to be alone and I would just sob. I would read The Conscious Bride or The Conscious Bride’s Wedding Planner”, sometimes I would talk to friends, but mostly I did a lot of journaling. I was ...
Alanis and the E-Course: Lesson 4 (You Learn)
“Perfectionism came in as well [during the engagement]. But if my number one priority is to evolve then there are no mistakes.” - Alanis from the Interview Lesson Four of the Conscious Weddings E-Course is "What if These Feelings Mean I'm Making...
Alanis and the E-Course: Lesson 3 (In Praise of the Vulnerable Man)
Lesson Three of the Conscious Weddings E-Course is "What If I Don't Love My Partner Enough?" or "Real Love versus Infatuation". I'll say it bluntly: Our culture is dangerously deluded when it comes to ideas of real love. From the time we're old enough ...
Alanis and the E-Course: Lesson 2 (Madness)
Lesson Two of The Conscious Weddings E-Course is "Why Is My Partner Driving Me Crazy?" or "Understanding Projection". One of the scariest experiences to have during an engagement - or any time in a relationship - is feeling angry, annoyed, disconnected...
Alanis and the E-Course: Lesson 1 (Limbo No More)
“All of my unconscious fears were in my face about letting go of the current identity. A lot of the thoughts that came up were fear-based and false, so I had to work to let them go.” - Alanis Morissette from her Interview Alanis Morissette, as ...

Click here to read more articles about dealing with transitions in life…

Sheryl on Oprah Sheryl Paul, M.A., pioneered the field of bridal counseling in 1998. She has since counseled thousands of people worldwide through her private practice, her bestselling books, “The Conscious Bride” and “The Conscious Bride’s Wedding Planner,” and her websites, www.consciousweddings.com and www.consciousmotherhood.com.

She’s regarded as an international expert on the wedding transition and has appeared several times on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”, as well as on “Good Morning America” and other top television, radio, and newspapers around the globe. Phone and Skype sessions are available internationally for all types of transitions and ongoing counseling. Sheryl lives in Boulder, Colorado with her husband and two young sons.

7 comments

link to this post

email a friend

TAL - December 2, 2010 - 2:52 pm

What a tremendous quote from Alanis Morrisette on (not) listening to that loud “NO!” voice. That was the first thing I had to learn how to do to be able to discern what I was really going through during my own engagement terrors (I’ve now been very happily married for almost two years and haven’t regretted it for a second). Thanks for this!

Maya - December 3, 2010 - 12:16 pm

What an amazing interview! And what an awesome feeling to be in the same “club” as someone like Alanis Morissette! This will be such an inspiration to so many. I especially loved what she said about making mistakes…how she had to remember that her goal in life was to evolve and not be perfect. Similarly, I believe that whether or not something is a “mistake” depends completely on how you choose to view it.

Dana - December 4, 2010 - 7:42 am

Wonderful interview! Inspired a post on our blog http://www.depositagift.com/blog/weddings/interview-with-alanis-morissette/

Cody - December 21, 2010 - 9:22 am

Always appreciate an Alanis interview–someone who doesn’t play word games and tells everyone, this time Sheryl, exactly how she feels. I sure hope the new year greets her with even more success than she has currently achieved!

p.h. - December 26, 2010 - 7:50 am

the day my now-husband and i filed our application for a wedding license, i sat in my car alone and bawled, utterly grief-stricken. i did this several more times, and i spent the first many months of my marriage feeling sad and resentful without any sense of why. thank you for this.

Alejandro L.A - December 26, 2010 - 7:09 pm

hi, i want to asf you something: i am a single-gay man i am 27 years old i spent last 10 years with a kind of “soulmate” but our relationship is over. after 8 months i feel overwhelmed because i cant overcome this situation, i miss him so mucho, he is in my dreams every night and the worst part is that he is happy with other person now. i scream to God with my prayers but he never answers me….what can i do now?

thank u very much for your advice.

A.L.A

Sheryl Paul - December 27, 2010 - 9:21 am

It can take a long time to move through the grief and anger activated by a break up. If you haven’t done so already, please download my free eBook on Conscious Transitions, as there’s a chapter on Breaking Up. You can access it through subscribing to my eZine on this site. The pain of a break up is real and intense and requires vast amounts of time to grieve. The pain also often triggers old pain from childhood around situations where you felt abandoned or replaced. God is answering you, but perhaps not the way you think it “should” come. When I work with clients enduring extreme pain and anger, I teach them a powerful six step process for attending to your feelings called Inner Bonding (Alanis is familiar with Inner Bonding as well). Check out the site at http://www.innerbonding.com. I think you’ll respond to it and start to find some answers and pathways to healing.

Sheryl on Oprah

"This is why I was so excited to do this show!" - Oprah
Conscious Weddings eCourse

"This course was the best thing that ever could have happened!" Anne Harman Solheim, Chicago
Sheryl Interviews Alanis

“Sheryl’s work was indispensable in helping me soothe my fears."
Birthing a New Mother Home Study Course

"What every pregnant woman and new mother urgently needs." - Dr. Christiane Northrup
Conscious Weddings eCourse

"Thank you for everything!" - Giuliana Montenegro, New Jersey
Recent Comments
- Janelle on The Architecture of Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts
- Michelle on Doubt and the Drug of Happiness
- Scottish Bride on The Architecture of Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts
- Sheryl Paul on The Architecture of Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts
- Sheryl Paul on The Architecture of Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts
Categories
Archives