Home Study Courses

BreakFreeLogo-200x133 Break Free From Relationship Anxiety E-Course

Based on nearly two decades of my work with clients and course members, this comprehensive course includes fourteen downloadable lessons of exclusive videos, MP3 interviews, articles, checklists, charts, and exercises that will help you transform your relationship anxiety into clarity and love.

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bird copyThe Conscious Weddings E-Course: From Anxiety to Serenity

If you’re in the wedding transition – engaged or newlywed – and struggling with relationship anxiety, this is the e-course for you. Through exclusive videos, articles, MP3 interviews, exercises, and effective tools you will learn to manage your anxiety and find the clarity you seek. Your peace of mind is worth it!

Click here to watch a free video, download samples and learn more about the program, including testimonials from Alanis Morissette and other satisfied women and men.

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sun shining through treeOpen Your Heart: A 30 Day Program to Feel More Love and Attraction for Your Partner

Are you longing to feel more love and attraction for your partner? Do you wish there was more connection and intimacy between you? Do you often worry that there’s something missing in your relationship? Whether you’re in a new relationship or a longterm marriage, you can grow your love and cultivate your connection. In this 30 day coaching program that I offer twice a year, I will personally teach you the Love Laws that will help you open your heart so that you can feel more love, connection, intimacy, and connection with your partner.

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Trust Yourself: A 30-Day Program to Help You Overcome Your Fear of Failure, Caring What Others Think, Perfectionism,  Difficulty Making Decisions, and Self-Doubt.

Over the years of working with clients and course members, I’ve discerned that one of the primary root causes of anxiety – from relationship anxiety to social anxiety to intrusive thoughts to fear of pursuing a dream career – is lack of self-trust. If you could repair your damaged self-trust, your life would change in dramatic and miraculous ways and you would experience a power, clarity, and freedom that you’ve only dreamed possible. That’s what this program will help you do.

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The Conscious Weddings Premarital E-Course: For Couples Who Want to Begin Their Marriage with the Best Chance for Success

The only non-denominational ecourse that offers you the information, guidance, and tools to create the healthiest foundation on which to begin your marriage in the privacy of your own home. Divorce-proof your marriage before it begins!

Click here to learn more

 

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Birthing a New Mother: A Roadmap From Preconception Through the Early Motherhood to Calm Your Anxiety, Prepare Your Marriage, and Become the Mother you Want to Be

A home study program to create the optimal environment for birthing your baby and yourself as a mother (and father). The eight downloadable lessons beginning in preconception and continuing through the first year of parenthood include videos, articles, and interviews with three psychotherapists, a midwife, a childbirth educator, and a postpartum doula who speak to the question, “How do you prepare for the transition of parenthood and learn to manage your anxiety, calm your fears, prevent postpartum depression, babyproof your marriage, and bond with your newborn?” (Hint: It has nothing to do with focusing on the externals of ovulation sticks, ultrasounds, and baby STUFF!)

 

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autumn.partnerWhen Your Partner is Struggling with Relationship Anxiety

Is your partner struggling with relationships anxiety? Are you wondering how to best support her/him and wondering how to handle your own feelings about it? Supporting an anxious partner is a challenging situation, and this short course (excerpted from the full premarital ecourse) will guide you with compassion and wisdom so that two of you have best chance of continuing to create a loving partnership. Whether you’re dating, engaged, or married, learn the tools you need to support your partner and yourself through this difficult experience.

 

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Video Courses Through MindBodyGreen.Com

sherylRelationships Course

In this course, I give you the tools to transform a good relationship into the best relationship of your life. This course is intended for people in any stage of a healthy, loving relationship who feel that something is missing and want to lay the foundation to create the relationship of their dreams. It can be taken on your own or with your partner.

 

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How to Heal from a Breakup 

In this course,I teach you the tools you need to heal from a painful breakup. Whether it’s been weeks, months, or years since you split with your partner, this course will help you move beyond the pain and learn valuable lessons that will prepare you to find healthy, lasting love in your next relationship. You don’t have to feel this way forever.

103 comments to Home Study Courses

  • Mary

    I ordered the eCourse, but it hasn’t arrived yet.

    Thanks so much,

    Mary Cobb

  • Please email me directly and we’ll figure out what happened. It’s an instant download so it should have arrived immediately in your inbox!

  • Caroline Weber

    Do you have a return policy if you’re not satisfied with the ecourse?

  • Kelly

    What is the major difference between the open your heart, wedding and wedding premarital course?

    • The Conscious Weddings ECourse is focused on relationship anxiety. Open Your Heart is a guided 30 day program to help you feel more love and attraction, and receive personal attention from me. The premarital course is for couples to help them learn the tools that will assist them in beginning their marriage on a healthy foundation.

  • Kelly

    Thank you! After finding this blog, I’m not as anxious about marriage – however, I would like a strong foundation and lessons on how we can communicate and maintain a strong relationship, while building our attraction toward one another. So maybe the Open Your Heart or premarital course would be best?

  • Lauren

    Which e-course would be best for me – the Relationship Course or pre-marital course. I am married 3 years and would love to learn more abouttips to keeping a strong,healthy marriage?

  • Jamie

    Hello Sherly,

    I have been following your blog for about a 1 1/2 years now and still haven’t purchased a course to assist me with relationship anxiety. I am currently married. Yes, I was the anxious bride and read your book during my engagment and first year into marriage. I still struggle on and off and more so now that my husband and I are expecting our first child. (Both turning 30) this year. Anxiety has been through the roof of projections towards my husband that something is “wrong” with us or I wouldn’t be feeling this way kind of thoughts, (you know all of those things I’m talking about)
    As a professional (occupational therapist) who works with many children with disabilities have started to be anxious about all the things that could go wrong! Right? So I’m struggling to decide which course at this time would be best suiting for me. (I find that most of my anxiety stems from my projections about my relationship) which I have a keeper so I’m trying my hardest to cope and have decided its time to truly love myself enough to sign up for a course or two. I truly want my pregnancy to be such a beautiful experience as I believe how spiritual this transition is. It’s beyond and amazing blessing I dont want to “miss”. Like I felt through my wedding experience that I still wish I could go back and be more present for. As we all know, the wedding is a right of passage, which I am learning to slowly understand and let go of the fairy tale I thought it should have been. So I’m hoping you can direct me to the best course you perhaps feel would be best for me at this time. Thank you for your wisdom and truly am
    Grateful each week for your beautiful blog

    Sincerely,

    Jamie

    • Thank you for your lovely comment, Jamie. Truthfully, I would recommend that you give yourself, your marriage, and your baby the gift of both courses. The course on relationship anxiety will help you own your projections toward your husband and heal the root causes of your anxiety and the motherhood course will help you prepare emotionally so that you can birth yourself as a mother and receive your baby with open arms.

  • Jake

    How do I sign up for the open heart 30 course?
    Also I’m from Ireland is this ok?

  • Suzie

    i signed up for the trust yourself course yesterday, i didnt get an email receipt. Is this ok?

  • I would love to be on the list for the early bird registration for this course. Thanks so much!

  • Tina

    I’m currently suffering from ROCD or relationship anxiety as you call it, for 2 years with my partner of 4 years. It has since transferred to all of my close familial relationships, making me question my love, care for them and my capacity to love as a human being. This has spiraled me into a deep depression. Do you think any of your ecourses would help me in this situation?

  • Jeremy

    Hi Sheryl,

    Firstly I would like to thank you for the guidance and e-course has given me. I got engaged to my Fiancé last October and everything was going so well until I got struck down with pre wedding anxiety towards the end of June. I was so frightened when this happened to me and all of a sudden I feared that I was making a mistake in marrying my beautiful fiancé and best friend. I have been in a loving relationship with the last 7 years and during those 7 years I have had the time of my life and now all of a sudden I question if I’ll be happy when I get married and find myself looking at flaws in my fiancé and trying to find flaws in my relationship. As a result I am seeing a therapist and I purchased the wedding e-course about 2weeks ago. I know I’ll have to work through the course and that it will take time to get through this anxiety. The fear scares me so much but i have improved since I got the help both from your course and the therapist and I would recommend the wedding e-course to anyone going through the same. Should I keep working through the wedding e-course on its own or take up another course that you would recommend?
    Regards

  • Marijke

    Hello,

    Can you add me on the early bird list?

    Thank you very much!

    Marijke

  • Ann

    Hi Sheryl,
    I have been following your blog for some time and i find it very inspirational. I would like to do one of your e-courses but i’m no sure if any of them are right for me. I am not in a relationship at the moment, though i have started dating someone recently. I have had two long term relationships but have not had one for a number of years, i think in part due to the fact that i’ve developed somewhat of a relationship phobia. At first i told myself it was because i hadn’t met “the right person” but as the years have passed i’m wondering am i just walking away from good people because i’m scared. Your courses seem to be aimed at people in relationships, is there anything for someone struggling to find a meaningful relationship?
    Many thanks,
    Ann.

  • Amy

    Hi Sheryl!

    I’ve taken the Conscious weddings ecourse and loved it and loved the board—find it all super helpful. I’m currently trying to work on loving myself more and finding fulfillment for my own needs from myself, not from my partner. I’ve done some of the inner bonding work. Basically, I’m torn between taking your Trust Yourself course and your mother’s Love Yourself course. Which do you think would be more useful for learning to self-love, self-soothe and harness my LA a little more?

    Thanks!!

  • Have you ever considered certifying people to teach your mothering course? As a doula I’d love to offer your program to my clients as I do many of the things you discuss but a kit, access to the videos and articles and some formal training in your program would be awesome.

    • I’ve considered offering certification programs for a long time but my time hasn’t allowed creating them yet. Eventually! In the meantime, please contact me about how to offer the birthing program in a more feasible way to your clients.

  • Brianna

    Hello,

    Do you have a course suggestion for intrusive thought ocd?

  • Eva

    Dear Sheryl,

    On the search of what is wrong with me and/or my relationship I found your webpage. I’m struggling to decide on which course would be suitable. Here a bit if background: with 25 (I’m 33 now) I moved to another (1,5 flight-h away from home) country to be with my partner. We had 1,5 years of long distance relationship and I was very much in love and trusted him to be my life partner. When I moved I didn’t speak the language or had a job, friends or my own family. I started doubting the relationship silently for myself as I always was weighing if all if that was worth it. I broke up with him in the end after seeing a relationship therapist who confirmed to me that my partner wasn’t emotionally available for me and couldn’t open up and meet my emotional needs. Soon after that I met a 10 yr younger man, I was totally in love for 1,5 years until he became anxiety, that our relationship would force him to miss out on travelling, friends and so on you have at his young age. I couldn’t stand his doubts and after 3-6 month including councelling I decided to leave the country and break up. Within one week I lost everything. My home (I lived in that country for 7,5 yrs), my job and my friends. I took my dog and went back to my home country to soon after leave to study half way around the world for my masters and figure out where I wanted to live as I didn’t feel home anywhere. I returned after my studies to my home country again, but had met someone during my studies. Long story short, I moved again, half way around the world, with high expectations on our relationship as we seemed to “connect” and understand each other better than I ever had experienced before on an adult level. I love his country and I have a great job here. But I am back to doubting my love, attraction and my decision to be with him. I do think he is the perfect for for me, but how can I actually start to enjoy my relationship? My mind plays tricks on me going back to my previous, yonger, crazy in love partner who wasn’t actually suitable for me. I know it’s fear driving this. Fear of never being able to have what my parents have, a “perfect” life partner. Which course would you recommend?

    • The Conscious Weddings ECourse would be ideal for you, Eva. I recommend that you sign up as soon as possible as the earlier you deal with the anxiety the easier it is to resolve it. I’m currently running my annual Black Friday sale through Monday. Enter GRATITUDE2014 at checkout to receive the discount.

  • Courtney

    I read your article/blog on MBG on the #1 reasons people “fall” out of love. The lead me to your website. I am in a big transition. And feel I have been for several years. In those years I closed a business, moved to another country, got engaged, married a year later, a baby a year later, moved 8 hours north of where we were living when our daughter was 6 months old (that was 3 years ago). In just those 3 years, we had a HUGE adjustment financially, I turned 30, husband turned 40, he left his business of 7 years, and most recently he got fired. In the last 3 years I have been “waking” up so to speak. Doing ALOT of inside work. After reading some stuff on your website I have realised I have a bit of relationship anxiety. We are going to see a counsellor and she is great and working on a more conscious approach to relationship counselling. I notice though that when we get in arguments I go from being very honest and open and that is met with defense, then I shut down and clam up, then I go through self doubt and relationship doubt then I get sad and lonely and confused and scared. I am exhausted in general as the last how many years have been extremely full of LOTS of change. I don’t have a lot of space for anything and notice its affecting not only me, but our daughter and obviously relationship as well. I feel like I am going crazy and know it takes 2 to tango but surely it can’t all be me like he so often seems to think. The only thing getting me through each day is knowing it can’t be like this forever and something has got to give. I writing as I am not to sure what E-course to do. The relationship one ( I used to thnk we had a great one) or the conscious wedding one or the 30 day program? Thank you.

    • Thank you for your comment, Courtney, and I’m glad to hear that you’re in counseling together. I would suggest that you start with Open Your Heart, which will open for registration on January 12th, and then consider Trust Yourself in March.

  • Liz

    Hi Sheryl,

    I’ve been struggling with ROCD and HOCD for the last two years. Would these e-courses help with those? If so, which ones?

    Thank you.

    • Hi Liz: The Conscious Weddings E-Course would help you enormously as it would help get to the root cause of your intrusive thoughts. Some of the language is geared toward engaged women, but most is relevant to anyone struggling with relationship anxiety and its offshoots, including ROCD and HOCD.

  • Seeking Shalom

    Hi Sheryl,
    I stumbled upon your blog a couple of days ago during a “google binge” as I’ve seen it called here. I think I have relationship anxiety and would greatly benefit from many of your e-courses, but am unsure which one is best suited for my situation. I’ll give you a bit of background so perhaps you can help me discern the best path to healing.

    -Wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship when I connected with my now boyfriend of one and a half years, I was content and fulfilled with singleness, he progressed too fast for me (and still does)
    -We have a 6 year age difference, race difference, and currently are undergoing a military long distance relationship (but still have ample communication)
    -Struggled with Perfectionism/fear of failure/not being good enough all of my life
    -History of extremely high stress levels
    -Overachiever that sacrificed self care (but in the past couple years I have been intentionally developing these skills)
    -Sometimes I am not attracted to my partner and/or not connected to him (before and during the long distance)
    -There are many foundational core values, visions, and traits that my partner and I share, but there are still some very major areas in which we differ. This is a major anxiety for me in conjunction with my previous life plan of singleness
    -My partner is not naturally inclined to express his thoughts and feelings like I am, but he incredibly supportive through everything and is committed both to me and working on our connection.
    -We are talking about getting engaged, married, and purchasing our first home sometimes soon after he gets back, so in other words, major life changes!

    Hopefully you can recommend which course you think is most fitting. Thanks!

    • I would suggest your start with the Conscious Weddings E-Course. It’s the most comprehensive course and addresses all of the issues you’re struggling with. You may also choose to continue with Trust Yourself after you’ve completed the course to address the perfectionism and fear of failure.

  • eva

    Hi Sheryl, I’m thinking about taking your 30day open heart course starting soon. My question would be, on which certain days and times would the conference calls be? Just to have an idea so I can schedule my work around it.

    Thank you & have a good night
    Eva

    • Hi Eva: Here are the call times for the Feb 2015 round of Open Your Heart. Keep in mind that all calls are recorded and available for download following the call and you will always have a chance to ask your questions on the forum:

      Monday Feb 2 at 8:15pm EST
      Monday Feb 9 at 5pm EST
      Tuesday Feb 17 at 1:15pm EST
      Monday Feb 23 at 8:15pm EST

  • Magda

    Hi Sheryl!

    Ive had 8 months of hell since I woke up one day in August feeling something wasnt right with my relationship. If I could just wind the clock back to that time – I would do anything to do so. I’m so unsure of what to do – It didn’t happen to me during a transition like engagement and yet I’m obsessing. So how does work on transitions help me with my relationship anxiety? Ive had BDD and bulimia (still have bulimia) – a LOT of selfhatred and so on for years and years. My relationship has no red flags, but we had only been dating for a year (he was very hard to get but when he got there after 6 months of dating I was in a bliss and very much thought about marrying him) before my anxiety hit me over night. He doesn’t understand me, but he knows Im hurting from doubts amd tries to help me. But he gets frustrated that It never seems to end. Just bought your e course a month ago but 8 MONTHS – why am I not the slightest better? I think Im a lost case, maybe Im ruining his and my life by not letting him go…

    • Hi Magda: I’m so sorry you’re suffering. There is no magic pill when it comes to relationship anxiety or any kind of self-healing work, especially when it’s compounded by years of self-hatred, but what I can say is that if you consistently do the work that I suggest in the course you will start to feel better. DAILY practice is the key, as well as receiving extra support for your other struggles (bulimia).

  • Magda

    Oh, and also – is there some way I could pay for private sessions with you?

    • My counseling practice is full but given your other comment I STRONGLY recommend that you find a local counselor who can support you toward your healing. I can also highly recommend my friend and colleague, Carrie Dinow. She works in a very similar way that I work and is a highly skilled, compassionate, and licensed therapist with twenty years experience. You can learn more about her here:

      http://carriedinowcounseling.com

  • Siren

    Sheryl after reading the article about most stressful transitions I came to realise that I’m going through several transitions this year. Mid-twenties, moving to other town and getting married. I feel like a baby kicked out of stroller and being told that it should know how to walk but is just rolling on the ground helpless. The year started demotivated which lead to strong anxiety including relationship anxiety (which lead me to your lovely website). I’ve learned a lot here but now I am feeling more depresswd and apathic than ever anf it’s a horrible feeling. I feel like crying but no tears are coming. I am constantly reading articles and comments on this website for a month and am desperately seeking a way to get out of this depression but nothing is happening. I know that eating, sleeping and excersising right is very important but I cannot find enough motivation to be disciplinef because I feel so lifeless. I feel useles, hopeless and I do not know what to do anymore! :( Is there a course that would benefit me? Any advice? I do not know what to do with myself. For a short period of time it was comfronting to know that I’m not the only one but it’s not enough anymore. I want to break free… Please help

  • BP

    Dear Sheryl, I’m concidering joining a course but I’m having trouble deciding which one. I am going through transition and I feel so lost, it’s crazy. I am about to start living with my fiance some time during this year and I cannot focus on anythimg else. I started feeling anxious about everything to the point where I couldn’t sleep, but now I feel a bit better although my anxiety has begun to influence my relationship and my fiance said that je doesn’t know what to tell me, how to confort me and how ro criticize me anymore because whatever he says or do to make me feel better I still feel the same way – scared, depressed and like I don’t know who I am and what I want anymore. He even mentioned a couple of months of separation and it scared me so bad…
    Do you have any suggestion? I feel like a lost case. Would I be able to follow and benefit from the course/programm since I am not religious and the whole holistic approach is so foreign to me as well as the “spiritual language” that I’ve been seing along this website?! Do you think I could understand and relate since I’m so left-hemisphere-dominant? Looking forward to hearing your oppinion. Thank you

    • The Conscious Weddings E-course would be ideal for you. It’s not religiously-based. It teaches you how to work with fear effectively, which, for some people, means connecting with a higher guidance, but that’s not an essential component of the work.

  • Uma

    Dear Sheryl,
    Is it normal for anxiously engaged to start thinking about death? I am going through a transition and thinking about things I never tought about before, so I am very curious could the transition be a reason. Thanx!

    • Yes it’s quite normal. As transitions are essential death and rebirth experiences, you’re aligning with the archetypal and psychological aspects of this time. Instead of thinking about actual physical death, ask yourself what part or parts of you are dying right now.

      • Uma

        Yes, it really does feel like parts of me are dying. I feel like a daughter-part, a protected-child is dying in order for me to be born as a grown woman and a wife. It´s rather painful because I am so very much connected to my parents and I always deeply cared about their opinions (sometimes too much!) so it´s hard to let go of that and focus on how to make my own living and make them, and myself proud doing that. Do you have any articles covering that topic of growing up, leaving parents? Or a film/book recommendation? Thank you so much, Sheryl!

  • Germa

    Dear Sheryl,

    any advice on how to “fill my well” while in transition? I am working with therapist to reduce my anxiety and I want to feel more love and passion toward my fiance as well toward myself. I appreciate you advice!
    Lots of love

  • Lex

    I need a little bit of help. I can’t seem to find article(s) about “now that I don’t have anxiety does it mean that I really don’t care?” And what to do to get through without creating anxiety about not having anxiety? Ugh, the brain is so weird!
    Thanx in advance

    • Yes the brain is quite interesting ;). When the intensity of the anxiety dissipates, that’s when the true work can begin of turning inward and giving attention to your own well of Self.

  • Glica

    Dear Sheryl,
    thanx to your blog and my therapy, my anxiety has decreased. I’ve realised that I always cared about my boyfriend. He’s always been my best friend and I can talk to him about everything and anything any time. I just got scared whether it is ok… is it normal to feel that way… more like friends and less like butterflies and fireworks (I realize that’s the infatuation but still…). I am a bit afraid because I am anxious to start a family with him although he’s wonderful. Why is that? What do you think, am I making a deal out of nothing? Thanx

  • Nao

    Dear Sheryl,
    I am struggling with the relationship anxiety but also I beleive that a huge part of it comes from not trusting myself. One of the biggest issues is orientation: my parents say that it is just a social influence and that sooner or later I will understand I will need a man and I myself started doubting it not long ago parents knew. Now I can’t understand what is true anymore. Was that really just an influence of modern culture? Does my anxiety occur because I actually don’t like to be with woman? Or am I doubting it because my parents do? What do I actually want?
    What my biggest fear about it is that once I will suddenly understand that I am not as happy with my girlfriend as I would be with a guy and as parents say, that nature will get me. But she is just the preson I always dreamt about, I don’t want to loose her!
    I also experience anxiety over the future of our relationship especially when I hear the stories of others, I start to project them onto our future. What if we don’t make it? What if I will fall in love with another person? What if we will argue over something too much? What if we will find some red-flag issue that will torn us apart? Everything is too good to be true!
    I really want to be happy with my girlfriend but all those fears just don’t allow me. What course should I choose?

  • Patricia

    Hi Sheryl,

    My name is Patricia and I am 21 years old. I have been dealing with ROCD and severe anxiety for about a year now. January 2014 I entered my first serious relationship, it was also my first sexual relationship with my boyfriend. We were friends for about a year and a half before we began dating, he always had a thing for me and I never really payed it any mind until I started to see him in another light. I fell in love with who he was and shared myself with him. Our first few months were almost perfect besides my trust issues that I’ve always had even before him. I never doubted my love for him or our relationship. About 7 months in my mother and I got into a huge argument surrounding my relationship and how I didn’t know what love was and since then nothing has been the same. In august 2014 I fell into a deep depression, I was bombarded with horrible thoughts, constantly questioning: “if i loved him” “was this really love or just attachment because I didn’t want to be alone” “was our relationship right” “am i making a mistake” “i am no good” “i’m a horrible person”. The depression and unwanted thoughts took over and I became suicidal. Thankfully my boyfriend never left my side, although he didn’t understand what was happening he stood by my side. I got on medication to help with my depression and was starting to feel a bit better. I decided to do a semester abroad, although I wasn’t sure it was right because I still had the thoughts and anxiety. My boyfriend and I agreed I would regret it if I did not go so I did. While abroad we argued a lot mostly communication and time and space. Long distance is hard, I went to therapy abroad and I was doing alright. A month before I cam home my anxiety spiked again and I had a huge anxiety attack. I was nervous to see him, wondering if i would still love him, if things would be the same. Since we’ve been back I’ve been very hostile and feeling disconnected its hard for me to engage in sexual relations with him because of my thoughts. I know he doesn’t deserve this. I just want to be better for me and for him. I don’t want to lose him. I want us to be happy like when we first started before all these stupid thoughts came to be. Please help.

  • Kristin

    Hi Sheryl,

    I am in the process of starting a new relationship. This guy is different from many other guys I have been interested in. He really wants to pursue me and is kind. He lives in another state from me, so there is the long distance relationship dynamic. For the first couple weeks it was really exciting and fun. I felt like he and I were really into each other. I don’t think I’ve been able to flirt to this extent, naturally, with many guys. Eventually though, I started really analyzing the relationship. He tends to be comfortable with silence and I like to converse. I started feeling like I couldn’t be in the relationship because if he didn’t like to talk, eventually I would feel alone and wouldn’t be happy in the relationship. (We’ve only been getting to know each other more in depth for a month. I realize that with my other friendships, it took time for me to build comfort and intimacy with them. And the truth isn’t that he doesn’t like to talk, it’s just that he has less to say than I do at times.) In the past I have walked through severe anxiety and have tools that I can use to help me to walk through this. The thing is though, I want to be capable of having intimate relationships. I was considering taking your Wedding e-course, but am wondering if that would be the best one for me to take?

  • Hello,
    I am interested in signing up for the Open your heart course. How do I do this?
    Thanks

  • BEngaged

    Dear Sheryl,
    I just wanted to ask a quick question. Is it a red flag if my fiance wants a totally different career from me?! He is an artist and getting more and more famous. It is his life, passion… He talks about that almost whole day long. I do love that he is passionate and willing to make a living out of art but I, myself, am not drawn towards money and success as much. To me, it is more important that we love each other and spend time together which is also limited since he has to work/paint most of the time to pursue his goals. Could we make it work in the long run? (We’ve been dating for 6 years but most of that time we were students and he wasn’t engaged in art as much as he is now (timewise)).
    Really would appreciate your answer!
    Thank you

    • Yes, this could be a red flag. It’s not him wanting a different career from you that’s the problem; it’s the difference in how you want to spend your time and your vision for your lifestyle. It sounds like his priority is work and yours is partnership.

      • BEngaged

        This is really making me cry! After all the anxiety that I’ve had lately, to hear this is heartbreaking… Is there an advice? Could this change since I still don’t have a career (unemployed) and I cannot speak about the business and I have all the free time in the world and naturally want to spend it with him. Maybe I’ll be passionate about my job as well after I finish school and won’t demand as much attention?
        He loves spending time with me and we have great time being with each other every day, no doubt about that… I am just worried about the future since I know that he must work a lot in order to make a living out of art (which is always hard) and I have never worked and cannot imagine how it looks.
        Please please please, your opinion?

        • Yes, of course it’s possible that this could shift over time. I’m simply suggesting that you keep your eye on it and not get married until you see how it pans out.

          • BEngaged

            Dear Sheryl,
            here’s a little update on my situation. I asked you if it could be a problem that my fiance is career/work oriented and I’m partnership-focused and you said I should watch the situation. Now I’m working too and I’ve talked about it ALL with my fiance… According to him, the most important thing for him is our relationship and he keeps reminding me of that very often (that WE are the reason he’s working so much). Work will always be on the close 2nd place just because he wants to secure us a good and safe financially safe life. I was relieved to see his point and it made sense, yet I’m still hit with anxiety and what ifs from time to time. How does it all sound now to you? Is the course for me? Thank you so much for your help!

          • Quite honestly the course is for anyone who suffers from anxiety, relationship or otherwise. You won’t regret learning the tools and information that will serve you for the rest of your life, in your relationship and beyond.

  • Clingy

    Dear Sheryl, I’m considering joining the E-course! I’m having a little bit of trouble figuring out am really demanding too much attention and then feel mad/sad/rejected when I do not get what I think I need. Could this appear because I’ve shut down all the sources of filling myself with joy such as social life, sports and hobbies and now I’m observing my partner through magnifying glass and seeing his flaws more than ever and am afraid of making a mistake of marrying him because he is not making me feel as happy as I would like/think I deserve?! Quick thoughts? Thank you very much!

    • It’s essential to fill your own well of Self and approach your relationship as an opportunity to give, not take. It’s not your partner’s job to fill you up.

      • Clingy

        I understand. But I feel like I’m the one who’s giving and giving but I don’t feel like I’m getting much in return. So when I consider the e-course the thought “see, again it is ME who is doing the work” rings in my head. How do I know whether I’m obsessing much and not seeing the bigger picture or my anxiety stems from a real “red flag”?? Thank you in advance, it means a lot to me.

  • Hello,

    I just purchased the e course and received an email to go to the forum. However, I am not sure if the forum or the online course is in the same email? Just a tad confused. Help! Thank you!

  • Bec

    Hi Sheryl,
    When or where is your course available for those of us who aren’t engaged? I just took the test and really think it’s me. I’ve developed depression as a result of my relationship anxiety and looking for help!
    Thanks in advance.

  • Bee

    Dear Sheryl,
    just a quick question. I am considering joining the e-course but I’m having doubts. I was in a happy relationship but now that I’m engaged and the wedding is coming into the picture I have developed such relationship anxiety that I don’t know what to do. I have read through this site, I have gone to a therapy but still I allow myself to get overwhelmed with the “what if”-s and now I’m just wondering if we’re just convincing ourselves to stay in a relationship even if we don’t love our partners anymore. I know my boyfriend is loving, kind, gentle and cares about me very much but still I’m like “so what”, I don’t feel as excited about him anymore. Yet I am not that kind of person to let go of things without trying to fix them, yet I do not know what more can I do because in the end I always end up believing the voices in my head that say maybe he’s just not the one and you shouldn’t be keeping him any longer. I feel like I’m not able to fix this because it’s been almost 10 months of trying different things and I somehow end up at the same point. Is it possible that I’ve changed and don’t love him anymore or is it anxiety and something that I can work through for good? I appreciate your help!

  • Bee

    Dear Sheryl,
    Thank you so much! I did some more pondering (while I’m saving money for the course) and realized that I do sound like a textbook. That gets me even more confused. My anxiety goes away when I let go of the constant urge to control everything that I feel but then I get sad because I literally feel NOTHING… not just towards my fiance. Isn’t it possible to just grow apart??? I don’t know whether his idea of our future is MY idea of our future anymore. He’s ambitious and I just want to curl in the bed and avoid responsibilities. My therapist told me to stop resisting and to go that path with him, the path of personal development and growth because I have the mental capacity and I could learn so much from him (about going after my goals and working hard to reach them) but I’m resisting all that – hence thinking we’re not the right match. Any advice on what to do while I’m saving $? I’m running out of constructive ideas and nothing seems to work.
    Thank you once again!

  • SoSad

    Dear Sheryl,
    Please tell me have you had this case before – My fiance had shared with me that he’s been having thoughts that he’s not sure whether I’d do anything for him like he would for me and that he has a strange feeling like I’m not 100% ready to commit and do whatever it takes for him, as he would do for me. And the problem is that I’ve been struggling with ROCD since march last year and I have the thought that I don’t love him enough and now I feel that his words just confirm what I’ve been fearing all along. I have built up a wall and I have this strange distance to him that is driving me mad! Could a course help find my clarity?! I’ve been to therapy and it has helped but not resolved the issue. Is there a solution or are our similar thoughts an indicator, that is’s just not “it”? We’re 7 years together and I loved him dearly until certain events appeared few years ago, after which I was not 100% sure that I could trust him/do anything for him/love him like before, although he has changed completely (for the better) and is at times basically the sweetest fiance there is.
    Thank you in advance! And a happy new year to you!

  • SoSad

    Thank you for your quick answer and support! I just wanted to ask whether living with one’s parents when married could be a red flag because I see it as a potential problem-bringer and I really don’t need any more confusion although we have no better option at the moment. Thank you

  • Mel

    I would really like to do this as I believe I have engagement anxiety but its just too expensive for me as we are saving every penny for our wedding and saving for a house. Which this could have been cheaper as i really would have like to see if this could help me :(

  • Sarah

    I’m married with 3 children and I don’t know if I love my husband. We hardly talk anymore. We just go through the motions of raising our family. My daughter asks why we never kiss. I’m afraid I’m setting a bad example of what my children should see in a loving relationship. What should I do.

  • BiD

    Dear Sheryl, I’m begging you for an advice. I read an article by a psychologist Linda Young called “You’re just not that into him” and my anxiety spiked so bad! She states that when there’s one partner who’s less in love, the best thing is a separation but people usually push themselves in marriages which almost always end up in divorce because the specific needs of the less-in-love partner are not being met. I feel horrible and I’m mad that I’ve read that article.
    Do you have anyone to recommend for online counseling/coaching regarding this subject? How do you feel about Michele Weiner Davis and her “Divorce buster” concept? Thank you in advance! I hate struggling like this :(

    • Cardinal rule #1 for relationship anxiety: NO GOOGLING! I completely disagree with that article. Please read Sue Johnson’s “Hold Me Tight” to understand why there’s almost always one partner who’s “less in love”. And have you taken the Break Free course?

      http://conscious-transitions.com/break-free-from-relationship-anxiety-e-course/

      • BiD

        Thank you, thank you, thank you for replying! I agree that many prople end up divorcing BUT most of that could be preventet if only people were more open to talk about these things! I still haven’t taken the course, I’m saving for it and was looking for a good material to read when I bumped into that horrible anxiety trigger of an article! I’ve been to therapy and it has helped but not entirely, I’m finding it so hard to work with anxious thoughts, they are too convincing and make me feel miserable and hopeless.

  • Bianca

    Hello, Sheryl,
    I need help deciding which course I should take as I feel all of them have at least one thing I need help with.
    I met this amazing guy in my freshman year in college we are both very playful, witty, and are not afraid to be loud and open with each other (in a fun and cute way). When we were just friends I remember there was a day that I sincerely knew that I really liked him. However, I quickly turned away from those feelings because he came from a violent and unsafe neighborhood and dressed in very loose clothes. I was raised and always told to never involve myself with men like this since I was born, basically, and therefore made the stupid decision to assume that he too was violent. That being said Ignored him for the rest of the fall semester and the beginning of the spring one as well. I quickly realized that I was being incredibly ignorant and allowed myself to act normally again with him and we began having fun again. I remember being excited every morning to see him for class and feeling weird if he wasn’t there. I was completely myself with him, more than I had been with anybody else. At that time I remember thinking “why don’t I like him anymore” when looking back at it it’s obvious I did I just kept thinking that I had to force even when the feelings were always there and I just needed to relax to feel them again. Jumping to the end of the semester on a day that we were being extra flirty and hanging out and literally dragging each other around (playfully) and hugging every chance we got, he asked me out and I remember just shutting down thinking “oh no not me, this is a prank, he must like someone else and is asking for advice”. I said yes because I knew something was there and kept wondering “why I was freaking out so much when I wanted this”. Literally, in a split second I immediately started getting annoyed with him, thinking that he was immature, and not smart enough. As our relationship continued we grew closer and I wasn’t as annoyed but it was still there. I began accepting him and loving him more and more. I would get excited to see him and would want to look pretty for him but that annoyance and my judging him was still there. He is nothing but supportive, faithful, and accepting towards me he has even helped me with past anxiety I’ve had and accepted me for it without hesitation, my family hasn’t even done that for me. This is why I cannot understand why my anxiety hit so hard two months ago. I feel horrible because he has been nothing but loving and has been there for me through it all even when I opened up to him about my relationship anxiety. He still was patient and letting me talk through whatever I had on my mind. Yet, I continue with all these doubts like “is he too immature”, ” I never felt like I had a honeymoon stage”, “did I even like him before we went out”, “I don’t really get butterflies or did”, “am I only staying because he is an amazing guy”. Iv’e been crying and feeling horrible for the past couple months without control. I felt like I was constantly depressed but now I just feel numb. I am hopefully going to start therapy next week but am tired of feeling like I can’t control my own emotions. I want to have a loving and joyful relationship, because I know I love him, and it would devastate me too leave him ( just thinking about that makes me want to cry). What should I do!?

  • Bianca

    Adding on, we just had our one year anniversary last month and even through the anxiety I was thinking how happy I was with him and couldn’t wait to hopefully spend many more years with him. This is also my first relationship, never had a father figure or guy friends until college because I went to an all girls school in high school and was heavily bullied in middle school by boys especially. So maybe my anxiety also stems from me not being experienced with men or never learning what they’re like, even outside a romantic relationship. Sorry for the lengthy story but I just wanted to make sure which course would be best for me.

  • Bianca

    Hello Sheryl,
    I wanted to ask for which course you could recommend for me because I feel like a lot of them have something that I need help on. I met my ,now, boyfriend of 1 year in my freshman year of college. We are both very witty, playful, and loud (in a funny way). There was a day in the fall semester of my freshman year that I knew that I truly liked him but I pushed away those feelings because he came from an unsafe and violent neighborhood and wore loose clothing. Therefore, I automatically and stupidly assumed that he was violent too because my family always told me never to involve myself with men who dress loosely or come from neighborhoods like that because they’re dangerous. Yet, now I know that he would literally never hurt a fly (he has a phobia of insects and runs away from them on sight lol). I began ignoring him. I realized I was being ignorant and let myself relax and act like normal with him again. Yet, looking back now it’s obvious I did even after I pushed away the feelings, because I would get excited when I saw him and only him, was extra bubbly with him, and felt like something was missing if he was ever absent. A week before he asked me out we even began texting and face timing 24/7 and I would even leave my living room where I would hang out with my roommates and go to my room to be in private to just talk to him. He makse me laugh so much and is the first guy I’ve felt that I could be my complete self with. Needless to say I said yes to the date but began freaking out immediately even though I knew something was there and automatically began thinking “he’s too immature”, “he isn’t smart enough”, “he’s too silly”, and even “he’s too affectionate”. When none of these things bothered me before they were the things that actually made me like him. I began falling in love with, however, yet I still had that nagging voice in the back of my head saying “are you sure you even love him”, “You didn’t even know if you liked him when he asked you out”, “you never felt like you had a honeymoon stage” and “what if you are only with him because he’s an amazing guy and don’t want to hurt him”. My major anxiety over this started 2 months ago and was so sad that I wanted to cry every day but now I just feel numb. My boyfriend is nothing but patient, loving, caring, and accepting. He listens to me and what I have to say without judgment and is always there for me. I know I do not want to break up with him because the thought of it makes me feel even more depressed than the anxiety. What should I do!?

  • Elizabeth

    Hi I’ve recently found your website and it has been extremely helpful. I took the relationship anxiety quiz and it said I have relationship anxiety which I already knew (I was recently diagnosed with OCD). Is there someone who I could message to ask a question to that I haven’t found an answer to on your website? Also, even when I read the articles or take the quiz, etc, I would still question and doubt like “do I really have it? “Maybe it just seems like I have relationship anxiety and it’s a “red flag?” I would appreciate your input. Thank you.

  • Pascale

    Hi Sheryl,
    I stumbled across your website as I was googling separation anxiety and fear of death. It’s the first time I read something that actually makes sense to me and that answered some of my questions. So first I want to thank you for that article.
    I would like your guidance.
    I had SEVERE separation anxiety as a child. I held onto my mother crying as I left home, and then held onto my father crying as he left me in the classroom. And I experienced every other shape and form: waking at night wanting to sleep with my parents, sneaking in their bedroom to smell their clothes when I was left with a babysitter… ALWAYS hating school. Wishing I was homeschooled etc.
    Later when I was about 8 my mother had a miscarriage and I became completely phobic, unable to leave her side and afraid to die.
    When I became an adult I had separation anxiety in relationships.
    Then i met my husband and moved to a different country.
    I had never experienced severe anxiety until my wedding day. It was horrible. I couldn’t eat. I felt like I was going to be sick. And during the wedding, I almost fainted.
    My first panic attack occurred in an airplane with my first newborn child when i said goodbye to my parents (gave birth in my county of origin) and went back home.
    Now every time I travel I suffer from severe anxiety.
    My parents were just visiting for the first time and they left yesterday. Ever since, I am having mad anxiety and the fear of dying is back!!!
    I need to deal with this and resolve it. It’s too terrifying and depressing.
    I have young children at home (full time). I practice attachment parenting. I cosleep with my children. I don’t want them to feel the way I felt as a child.
    Can you recommend something to help deal with this and understand it please?!!
    Thank you!
    Pascale

    • My heart goes out to you as I know both professionally and personally exactly what you’re feeling. I would recommend that you take my Break Free From Relationship Anxiety E-Course. Even though it doesn’t sound like you’re suffering from relationship anxiety, the course goes into great depth into the root causes of anxiety in general, and I have a strong feeling that you will benefit enormously from it.

      • Pascale

        Hi Sheryl,
        I have been trying to purchase the course but no matter he many times I click purchase, my cart is always empty.
        Can you please help, maybe send me a direct link to PayPal payment?
        Can’t wait!
        Thank you!
        Xoxo

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