I’ve written a birthday blog post almost every year since I started this blog in 2009. I wrote about entering my 40s here, and in today’s very special Gathering Gold episode, Victoria and I reflect on aging as I cross the threshold into the next decade of life: my fifties!

Slowly, at the pace of soul, we talk about what it means to “age backwards,” and we consider the question: how can we become more curious, more open, softer and lighter as the years pass, rather than more rigid and calcified? Is it possible that aging is, in some ways, not as linear as we think?

We unpack some of the stories and perceptions about aging that can make it difficult for us to accept and embrace the changes that come with the passage of time. I share my thoughts on common messages about aging bodies and appearances, and how to let go of the “shoulds” we encounter in different stages of life.

I also share how I’ve been spending my time lately, moving from a Shmita year into a Jubilee year: slowing down, singing, learning Hebrew, and listening closely to my body. I share some of my intentions and hopes for the future, including a special note about reclaiming my voice and my name (notice the new name on my blog posts :)).

Thank you, all, for being on this journey alongside me. Thank you for sharing your stories and pain and joys with me through the years. Thank you for being on this blog: for reading, for commenting, for risking, for celebrating. My heart overflows with gratitude.

One more note: My family is returning from a weekend in the mountains where my husband and sons celebrated me so beautifully. My husband blew me away with the expression of his love for me. I can truly say that I’ve never felt so loved, so seen, so held, and so completely adored by anyone, ever.

For those of you struggling with relationship anxiety, hang on. The best stuff comes later. We’ve been together for more than two decades and I can honesty say, as I share in more depth in this podcast episode, that we’ve never experienced more joy, love, ease, and romance than we have in this part of our marriage. It didn’t happen by itself. We’ve had to work, separately and together, to soften our fear-walls and work through our childhood traumas. And we’re still working. But the more you address on the front-end, the more ease you experience on the other side. It’s the template of transitions that I speak of so frequently in my work, and it applies to marriage as well.

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