4 Extraordinary Relationship Anxiety Stories to Bring You Hope

by | Feb 19, 2023 | Alanis Morissette, Break Free From Relationship Anxiety, Relationships | 15 comments

Many of you have found your way to my work through the portal of relationship anxiety. From there, we’ve traveled into deeper realms together, including health anxiety, friendship anxiety, parenting anxiety, career anxiety, and generalized anxiety – but relationship anxiety still arises as one of the top battle zones for the anxious mind.

Which is why is somewhat surprising that it’s taken Victoria and I two years to do a podcast episode on this topic! And which is why, even though I’ve been writing about relationship anxiety for over twenty years, it’s also interesting that I’ve never shared my full relationship anxiety story… until now (see link and clip below). In this month’s Patreon bonus episode, Victoria and I share the details of our very different journeys through relationship anxiety: our triggers, symptoms, stuck points, insights, and what ultimately helped us to break free. We also sing the praises of our beloved partners ❤️.

You can learn about joining our Patreon community and listen to the full episode at patreon.com/gatheringgold.

Here’s a clip:

 

In this week’s Gathering Gold episode, we’re talking to Katie, asking her to share her story in the same style as the ten popular course member interviews included at the end of the Break Free from Relationship Anxiety course. Katie graciously agreed to share her story as a way to give back to this community for all that she received that allowed her to break free from her debilitating symptoms and joyfully marry her beloved husband just last month.

Katie talks about so much in this interview, including:

• The intrusive thoughts, “What if I’m just staying in this relationship because I feel safe?” and “What if I’m not attracted to my partner?”
• Her pattern of running away from relationships when things started to get serious
• Her somatic symptoms of anxiety including stomach issues and insomnia
• Coming to a new understanding of infatuation, attraction, and interdependence

Oooooh… Victoria and I were weeping by the end of this very special Gathering Gold episode! Her words of hope and wisdom – and her beautiful wedding vows – broke us open completely.

Finally, here’s a clip from Sara’s 1-hour interview at the end of the Break Free From Relationship Anxiety course. I recently checked in with Sara and she shared that she and her husband will be celebrating their 10-year wedding anniversary this spring:

 

Katie, Sara, and all of the course members that I interviewed talk about how the Break Free From Relationship Anxiety course – and especially the ten interviews at the end – was pivotal in helping them find freedom. The next LIVE round of the course, which includes four group coaching calls with me, starts on February 26th, and I only lead it live once a year. I look forward to meeting you and guiding you there.

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Here are the call times. If you can’t make the live event, you can listen to the recording afterwards and still benefit from hearing other course members’ stories and struggles and how I work with them. Also, if you’ve already taken the course but are still struggling, you can join this live round and the four calls at a reduced fee using the third button on this page

Call 1: March 2 at 1:30pm ET
Call 2: March 14th at 2:30pm ET
Call 3: March 23 at 4pm ET
Call 4: April 13th at 12:15pm ET

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Is my doubt about my relationship an offshoot of my own anxiety or is it a warning that I’m with the wrong person?

Many people wonder what “relationship anxiety” is and if they are, indeed, suffering from it. They also desperately want an answer to that million-dollar question.

The answer to this question is contained in the assessment. Fill in your information to receive an immediate answer (and a lot of reassurance just from going through the material).

15 Comments

  1. I will definitely be listening to this! When I first joined the course (6 years ago I think!!) the interviews were a lifeline for me. At one point, when I was in the darkest part of my anxiety, I would listen to the interviews at night to help me fall asleep, and ease the intrusive thoughts that were keeping me awake in fear every night. It was such a relief to hear others voice how I was feeling and knowing that if they could get through it, I could too. It was interesting to hear the different ways everyone experienced their anxiety and the different triggers they had – it helped me unpack mine! I’ll forever be grateful for this course – if anyone reading this is hesitating on it and is struggling, I couldnt reccomend this course enough, it literally changed my life and has made my relationship so much stronger. (We’ve just celebrated our 8 year anniversary!).

    Reply
    • I fully agree with Worrier96. It has hands down been the best money I’ve ever spent. The course was literally life changing and life affirming to me. I was 24/25 years into my relationship when RA really hit me, although I now recognise I had some minor bubblings of RA at other earlier times in our relationship.
      The teachings and learning from the course has fed into and benefitted other areas of my life not only my romantic relationship, but how I parent and how I manage my familial and friend relationships. Mostly it’s helped me understand me and understanding me has made me more self assured and self aware.
      I’m now more able to manage anxious thoughts and feelings because I recognise what they are and what they try to tell me. I no longer fear them.
      I’m now happily into my 31st year of my romantic relationship (into my 17th year of marriage) and I’m embracing the changes as we transition into a new season of life together.
      You won’t regret the purchase.

      Reply
  2. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart for your supportive and generous comments. It always warms my heart to see familiar screennames in the comments and, most especially, to hear how you’re doing!

    Reply
    • Thank YOU Sheryl, I wouldn’t be where I am if I hadn’t found my way to you and your work.

      Reply
    • Thank you Sheryl for your work!

      Reply
  3. Dear Sheryl,
    I am forever in your debt.
    When my anxiety grabbed me by the neck three years ago, first thing I did is the first thing you shouldn’t do: I googled.
    I had to find some sense in what was happening to me.
    I was mentally a complete mess, unable to function, dissecting my relationship with my soulmate to pieces. None of it made sense on its own. I found you and your blog. I remember the first thing I read was a list of symptoms and feelings. Each and every one on the list was mine.
    I felt relieved and normal for the first time in months. Slowly, with your guidance, you kind words and your wisdom, I started to put all the pieces of puzzle together. I felt like I died and was simultaneously born again.

    A year later, I got to the other side of love – the real side, the real kind of love, mature love, based on things much deeper than I ever knew existed.
    three years later and here we are now – about to get married. In love. Happy. Certain. Secure. No matter what life brings. I ask my soon to be husband often: Is this real? Sometimes it seems so surreal to live this life on this level that YOU introduced me to. Your words and the way you combine both spiritual and what is of this world is incredible. I can hardly remember what it felt to be in such agony, even though fear still sometimes shows up. And so do my compulsions, but to much, much lesser degree. But now I understand them, and treat them as messengers, instead of enemies, or bowing down to everything they say. I am reconnected to my true intuition again. I am growing into what I always was, but was too afraid to tap into.

    To say thank you is not enough.
    You healed so many people just by being kind enough to post you knowledge here.

    Thank you.

    Reply
    • Thank you for sharing your story and your gratitude, Keeks. I have tears in my eyes 🙏🏽. I’m honored to have been a part of your journey from fear to love, and also from drowning to self-awareness. Sometimes Google comes to the rescue!

      Reply
  4. ​​​​​​​​​​Hi Sheryl,

    Thank you, as always. 

    I feel like I’m in the midst of a Dark Night after betraying my partner’s trust and the reoccurrence of RA after a decade. I’ve been questioning my relationship (and just about everything else). It’s been compounded by experiences with psychedelics that have caused me more anxiety and questioning, and worse – I feel like I can’t share any of it with my partner. 

    Is this course similar to Conscious Brides? I have CB already. I want to take this course, but my husband supports me financially at the moment and I feel I can’t ask for it (as I’ve already taken several of your courses).

    Reply
    • It’s quite different from the Conscious Wedding Course, and I’m delighted to share that we’ve just received a very generous donation from an angel donor who would like to help people take this course who can’t afford it. Check your email!

      Reply
      • I would really like to take this course but I’m struggling for money

        Reply
  5. Sheryl,

    I, too, found you when I was experiencing the most painful relationship anxiety but oh my goodness– VERY quickly my focus shifted from that relationship anxiety to my experience of life in general as someone who is sensitive and was especially sensitive as a child. Your writings and podcast with Victoria have been the greatest gift to me in the past couple of years. There is a part of me that feels I was “meant” to have that relationship anxiety so I could find your work, the Gathering Gold podcast, and learn more about myself. I have so much gratitude for you, for Victoria, for this community. I only wish the compassionate messages that were shared here were far more prevalent in society!

    P.S. My partner and I are getting married in June. Do I still get anxious sometimes about our relationship? Of course! But now I think, “Ah. This is uncomfortable but very normal and very okay” rather than feel terrorized by that anxiety and ashamed of it.

    -Olivia

    Reply
    • Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, Olivia. My heart is so warm from reading this. Sending love and blessings as you walk toward your wedding day with consciousness!

      Reply
  6. Wow! Sara’s story really resonated. Anxiety started before our 1st date. 3.5 years of anxiety (capital H) Hell while we dated (with 2+ of those years being on different continents). Hanging on only because I recognized that a) he was a good man, b) he would be heartbroken, and c) I would regret not seeing this through, even though the fear of having to break up to was a constant drone in the dark corners of my brain.
    But I found Sheryl and marinated myself in the work, and now my man and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary in a month. There’s hardly a day that goes by where I’m not acutely conscious of the deep gratitude in me for this beautiful man I get to call my husband – maybe a deeper gratitude than most because I know how close I came to throwing this treasure away. The journey has been unspeakably worth it – the light has more than compensated for the dark.
    Someday I hope to tell Sheryl thank you in person, but in the meantime I send much love from NZ (but at no distance in spirit). <3

    Reply
    • Thank you for sharing your story and your gratitude. I feel it deeply all the across the seas. ❤️🙏🏽

      Reply
  7. I have been scrolling for a couple of days and keep coming back to this post. I woke up two nights ago with the most horrible intrusive thoughts about my amazing loving boyfriend. I’m hoping to save up some money to try the course but right now my therapist is putting me on anxiety medication. the issues I have stem way past my relationship but my anxiety attacks are all encompassing and last days. I don’t want to lose the love of my life. He checks all my boxes. I’m so scared of feeling like this and ruining the beautiful life we have together. If there is any opportunity for a discount for the course, please let me know

    Reply

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