Do you Feel Scared by the Phrase “Drop into Your Body”?

by | Jan 30, 2022 | Intrusive Thoughts, Relationships | 21 comments

Let me start by saying that this episode of Gathering Gold was one of our favorite to record. Victoria and I were able to drop a particularly rich and fruitful space together, one that guided us into places that even we weren’t expecting.

If you’ve been on my calls and courses, you know that I often invite people to “drop into their body”. And you’ve heard me say many times, “Healing doesn’t happen in our heads.” So if we know that we need to try to shift out of the ever-compelling headspace and drop into the body’s wisdom in order to find more freedom and ease, why do we resist it? This is what we explore in this episode of Gathering Gold.

If the phrase “drop into your body” brings up an automatic reaction of fear, frustration, or drawing a blank, you are not alone. Throughout the episode, we discuss some of the reasons that we might have blocked off awareness of our body or connection to our emotions early on, and why we might now be afraid or frustrated when we try to reconnect.

Through trusting our bodies and taking the risk to be vulnerable, Victoria and I arrived at so many golden gems of wisdom, largely because of Victoria’s brave willingness to offer her psyche to the Jungian way of delving underneath presenting thoughts like, “What if I drop into my body and discover that I’m meant to leave my relationship and live in a forest?” Trusting in the wisdom of the moment (the body’s wisdom), we went off-script and traveled non-linearly, spiraling into rich layers of memory, fears, and, ultimately precious moments of freedom (that don’t involve leaving your loving partner ;)).

We also discuss other fearful thoughts that arise around “What might my body tell me about my truth?” I expand upon the multiplicity that the body holds, and how we can slowly and gently tap into that multiplicity with a sense of curiosity and creativity.

Victoria shares about her struggle with dropping into her body, and some of the small, gentle moments that have helped her to get back into relationship with less fear, more compassion and even some joy.

What comes up for you when you hear an invitation to drop into your body? As always, we look forward to hearing your comments, and we very much appreciate your reviews on Apple. Thank you for listening. 🙏🏽

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21 Comments

  1. Wow! Perfect timing! This phrase has been scaring me a bit over the last few weeks.

    I think about this a lot and have been trying to drop into the body more. As I face a new possible relationship, the first one after a slightly toxic one, I am fearful. I’m nit-picky. I’m scared I’m not enough. I’ve been dropping into my body more and more.

    I have been worried about some things the person I’ve been dating has said. We were discussing sex and she said something that hurt me a bit, or made me feel embarrassed. Is it normal to be hurt by a new partner’s comment? I’m sure she didn’t have bad intentions given she’s so kind and I’m very sensitive but it worries me.

    Reply
    • Yes, we can be hurt by anyone at any time! The work of vulnerability is to take the risk of communicating the hurt in a responsible way as long as you trust that the person can hear it and receive it.

      Reply
  2. This is such a precious episode. I can’t thank you both enough for recording it.

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  3. I loved this episode. So grateful to Victoria for sharing her vulnerability and fears around what she might discover dropping into the body, and to you, Sheryl, for being such a gentle and compassionate guide for Victoria and for us listeners.

    The first bit of the podcast was very comforting to me. Almost like you were giving me permission to not chase after each fantasy vision of a life that I have. It actually felt like quite a relief, like I could choose to stick with my current life (one of many possible lives) and that’s okay. And in doing so, I can fully enjoy everything it has to offer.

    I’m curious about the idea of living some things out imaginally or in creative ways which don’t interfere with things that I love about my life right now. That’s both a relieving and scary thought (if I let myself indulge the fantasy, even just in my mind, I’ll realize that I want it so much that I need to make it happen in real life and in doing so, leave my partner). But I guess that comes back to holding multiplicities and moving away from black-and-white thinking.

    Later parts of the podcast were pretty spiky for me for reasons I won’t get into. But I’m trying to go back and re-listen and jot down what spoke to me so that it can percolate in my psyche and I can come back to it later.

    Reply
    • Thank you, Julia! We’ll be talking more about the imaginal and creative realms, and your comment will help guide our conversation. I’m so glad that the first part was comforting and I’m also glad that you’re going to go back and re-listen to jot down what spoke to you. I would also encourage you to re-listen to the parts that spiked you and see if you can become curious about the spikes while gently bringing your loving inner parent to the dialogue.

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      • Thank you for your reply Sheryl, I’m looking forward to those coversations! 🙂

        That’s a good idea (and scary!). My instinct, of course, is to avoid it, haha. The second time I was listening and noticed that spike I tried to tell myself: I wonder if you can bring some of the insight from the first part of the podcast to bear here?

        I have also been trying to remind myself that when I am washed over by a wave of panic, I’m basically never seeing the full picture and although it feels so abosulte and real in the moment, that version of reality rarely ever is. There’s a real element of trust that I feel needs to come in in the moment, which feels really difficult sometimes. I think part of it feels like learning to trust the inner parent when she says: “I know this feels so real and so catastrophic but that doesn’t mean that it is.” And try to remember that life is multiplicities, not black-and-white, and trust that.

        I will try to go back and sit with it some more when I feel like I can.

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  4. Thanks for this one, Sheryl. I have been enjoying listening to the podcasts! It’s always so great to hear your voice-I find it so comforting/familiar during anxious times.

    Hearing the term “drop into your body” is really,really scary. Often, I fear what I will find out if I do. It is so easy to fall prey to the belief that you can just get your answers by staying in the mind rather than dropping into your body. Being in your body requires you to feel safe enough to be present and trusting of your interpretations of your body’s messages. In the context of relationships, my body “talks” to me through tight squeezing, knots, racing heart, spaced out, but trying to discern the message feels scarier than the feeling itself.

    I would be curious to hear you expand on feeling into the body for those who tend to not feel very safe in general and/or trust their discernment. In the past, the bodily sensations have been present when there are actual red flags and sometimes when I can’t see any red flags- the sensations can feel the same way, creating a feeling of something is not right. I find it challenging to discern the messages. Are they alerting me of something not being right in relationship (even if no red flags) or is it leading me to something that lives within me? Often, my response is always the same-I need to leave. Keeping one foot out the door feels much safer than being present to my body.

    I am sure that I am not the only person on this forum who experiences that challenge! It remains to be a bit of a mystery to me, but something I’d like to know more about.

    Reply
    • Julia, I can definitely relate and couldn’t have said this any better!!!
      I too, am very scared to drop into my body for the same reasons as you- not being able to discern the bodily messages. I can’t wait to listen to this podcast and to see if Sheryl can elaborate on our comments.

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      • I feel you, Kim! It’s really scary and really hard sometimes! And in general, just darn right confusing to discern the messages in the mind-confusion soup. Sending love.

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    • Yes, Julia, interpreting the messages if often the most challenging and triggering part. Sometimes it’s enough to say, “I’m scared” and do your best to hold off on trying to interpret. I know it’s tempting, but that’s ultimately the work: to feel the sensations, name the emotion as best you can, and bring tenderness to them. Sending big hugs. ❤️

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      • This is reassuring to hear. Usually, it feels like you need to just “figure it all out” in the moment, which leads to even more confusion/anxiety. What I can say for certain is that getting anxious about interpreting the message isn’t coming from a place of love, but rather from fear. It’s nice to hear that just feeling and acknowledging the fear can be enough 💓

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        • Hey Sheryl!

          As usual, thanks for your wise words nad the invitation to share 🙂

          There is alot going on in my life currently (preparing to move house in 2 weeks, worrying about finances, a second child on the way (due date may 17th) – which is all proceeding the highly stressful Xmas time with family dramas and my first borns’ birthday.

          Lately, whenever I try to slow down and do some inner work, I find myself getting frustrated, and feeling angry. Really angry. I don’t know where most of the anger comes from, but some of it definitely comes from a place of, “why can’t I move past this and feel what’s underneath”, a feeling of frustration that I can’t do it, or don’t know what I’m doing, etc.

          After writing this out, and seeing the amount of transitions happening in my life at the moment – it kind of makes sense i don’t feel connected to myself at the moment. But it becomes harder when the act of trying creates even more stress.

          By the way – I’m a huge dan of the podcast! Have been since day 1 🙂

          Thanks Sheryl!

          Reply
          • I’m glad that writing this out helped you to bring more compassion to yourself. Yes, when we’re in transition overload, it can be difficult to access the more vulnerable feelings that live in the body. But since anger is showing up first, you might try getting into relationship with the anger by becoming curious about what it wants to say.

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  5. Love love loved this episode! Victoria’s poem was so beautiful and I loved how all her safe spaces were intruded upon by scary thoughts! Oh the anxious mind! This is how I feel right now working with my intrusive thoughts, but I trust my body way more than I did months ago, thanks to the relationship anxiety course I am currently working through. I have been able to slowly pry my literal interpretation free and drop underneath at times and I never find my truth to be my intrusive thoughts, but I still get hooked in at times. I can feel the hook and how it feels different from my soothing, wisdom states. But the intrusive thoughts and anxiety around them have such a strong pull, my muscle to not hook in still needs many reps to grow stronger! Again, thank you so much for this episode. I look forward to listening again and listening when I trust my body even more and once I have broken free from my anxiety!

    Reply
    • Amber: I’m so glad to hear that you’ve been able to drop underneath the intrusive thoughts at times since working through the relationship anxiety course. Great news! And yes: it’s a muscle, which means the more you practice, the easier and more automatic it will become. Many reps, indeed! Sending hugs to you on your continued journey to freedom. ❤️

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  6. Love this! I’ve been working on this more and more!

    I do have a question that arose while practicing this. I’ve been suffering from two main ideas/anxiety provoking thoughts that come up when I try to work into myself/body,

    1) “My partner doesn’t understand me/thinks I’m weird/Can I feel safe with them?” Is that a normal thought? I think a lot about being weird or too silly or too awkward and I feel judged. Not actually judged, but I overthink it.

    2) “Who even am I? Am I myself around my partner?” Is that also a normal thought for RA?

    Reply
    • These are both thoughts, and thoughts lives in the head, not the body. I encourage you to keep practicing dropping into the body, going underneath these thoughts and becoming curious about what lives there.

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  7. Hi Sheryl,

    This was my first time listening to your podcast. Wow. I was crying. Like ugly crying, but it was so, soo good. I did what you said and dropped into my body, I immediately felt a tightness in my throat, which you noted can represent grief. This is meaningful to me. I’m under a whole lot of change right now (new business, looking for a new home and I recently became a parent – all after more than 10 years of stability), so I think that is where that is coming from.

    Also, the part about Victoria’s massage/reiki experience was very relatable. I had my first reiki session several years ago. The practitioner told me after the session that she noticed something in my head. Between my ears. I’m still waiting to figure out what that is. But I do know that I am a highly sensitive person I have been struggling with noise sensitivity for most of my adult life. That was a powerful validation, I still don’t know why I’m like that though. I’m really hoping to overcome it…

    Anyway, thank you. Those are some small tidbits I’ll be adding to my journal as I continue to work on getting unstuck…

    Reply
    • I’m so glad this episode spoke to you, April, and that it will offer tidbits to mull upon in your inner work. ❤️❤️❤️

      Reply

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