I’m touching down into another layer of self-trust, listening closely to my Yeses and Nos, to the signals in my inner landscapes that let me know which aqueduct valves to close so that the underground waters are redirected from elements of outward service to inner well. With a few simple yet significant Nos, I can feel the well replenishing. My intention at this layer is to pay attention to my rhythm, to notice when I override my rhythm then course correct when possible.
It’s subtle, the language of the body. It’s a language that has been steamrolled and subjugated for centuries. I believe that we are all being asked to recover the nearly lost art and skill of listening to our bodies, remembering that the body is the bridge between earth and sky, between matter and spirit, and that along its bloodlines of vein and lineage of bone we are guided back to Self. Breath is an anchor. Belly is a compass. These bodies – these magnificent, miraculous bodies – are a map that can lead us to the buried treasure of self-trust that lives at the center of our beings.
Each of us is born with a unique rhythm, a soulprint that, when listened to, becomes the only North star we need in order to know how to live in alignment with our true self. Due to a variety of reasons, from parenting models that are rooted in overriding a child’s needs and rhythms to medical, religious, and educational paradigms that are predicated on the assumption that everyone knows better than you do, we learn very early on, often pre-verbally, how to distrust ourselves and hand over our sense of self to be approved of by others.
So here we are, a year and a half into what feels like an endless pandemic, where our lives as we’ve known them have been upended, and as I listen to my global audience I hear that self-doubt, world anxiety, career anxiety, health anxiety, relationship anxiety, and intrusive thoughts attached to all themes are at an all-time high. In light of this time of flux and heightened anxiety, it’s normal to have a flight response, which might look like anything from perseverating over small decisions to the impulse to make a drastic change. We might, as I’m experiencing, be receiving guidance to make changes in the rhythms of our lives, including our work lives. But when self-doubt is magnified, it can be challenging to make even small decisions and answer the #1 question when it comes to intrusive thoughts: Is this coming from clarity or is it coming from fear?
As I’ve written about extensively, transitions can be illuminating, which means that we’re being given an opportunity to see the habits, patterns, and beliefs that may not be serving us in high relief. And when we see the places that aren’t serving in high relief we might be called, from a place of clarity, to make change. But we can also misunderstand the clear-seeing and projected outwards, which might cause us to believe that something external needs to be changed; a job, a city, a house, a relationship.
Once again, the most important question becomes: Is the desire for change coming from flight/fear or from clarity? Being able to answer this question depends on self-trust.
Self-trust is the North Star. When self-trust intact and reclaimed, we step back into the center of ourselves and are able to trust our bodies, the messengers of truth. From this place of centered and trusting wisdom, we know how to move forward. We know how to make decisions both for ourselves and our children. And we trust that, contrary to the dominant cultural message that plays into an already loud inner perfectionist, there aren’t “right” or “wrong” decisions; there’s only learning and growing.
For those of you who struggle with relationship anxiety, the phrase “trusting your body” might trigger anxiety, for it’s often the body that registers doubt, irritation, lack of attraction, and all of the hallmark signs of relationship anxiety. And yet it’s exactly the process of learning to trust your body and yourself that allows you to turn the magnifying glass that over-focuses on your partner to the mirror that allows you to take responsibility for your own pain and wounds and heal the intrusive thoughts at the root.
As defenses continue to fall away during this time of heightened flux, we have a potent opportunity to explore, grow, and heal this ever-pressing topic and skill of self-trust. This is what my Trust Yourself program offers: a 30-day roadmap that guides you into the root of your self-doubt, attachment to approval, perfectionism, and difficulty making decisions so that you can retrieve the self-trust that was overridden long ago. This course has helped thousands of people reclaim the self-trust that is rightfully theirs, and I’m excited for it to guide you back to yours. The 16th round will start on October 16th, 2021, and I look forward to meeting you there.