What You Choose Determines What Comes Next

Transitions, as breaking and renewal points, offer choice-points that determine how we unfold into the next stage of our lives. Many people find me during their wedding transition when when they’re broken open not only by relationship anxiety but also by the earthquake of feelings that erupt because of the transition itself. The same is true for the transition into parenthood, career changes, moves, and deaths. Because we’re not schooled in the language of transitions and we’re terrified of big feelings, people tend to feel burdened by what feels like an unfair onslaught of anxiety: “Why does everyone else seem to happy when I’m so sad and anxious?” My response, as I’ve shared many times here and in my courses, is, “You’re one of the lucky ones. You’re being shown your core stories, and the seeds you plant now toward healing the flawed stories will serve you in your next … Click here to continue reading...

The Truth about New Motherhood

Over the past several years, many of the women who I helped midwife emotionally across the threshold of the marriage transition have birthed themselves as new mothers. And just like our culture doesn’t tell the truth about the challenges of intimate relationships, it also fails us when it comes to offering accurate information and effective support so that women and their partners can traverse the terrain of this next transition with consciousness and joy.

We know it’s going to be hard, but we have no idea how hard it’s going to be. We know that we might be sleep-deprived or have trouble breastfeeding, but we have no idea how these challenges will effect the emotional terrain of our experience, how deeply breastfeeding, for example, is linked to self-worth as a mother and how, if it doesn’t happen easily or at all, we feel that we’ve failed.

Because I’m privy to … Click here to continue reading...

Free Teleclass: “What Nobody Tells You To Expect When You’re Expecting”


This morning I hosted a FREE teleclass on the topic of addressing your expectations regarding trying to conceive, pregnancy, and early motherhood. To listen to the replay, click on this link:


Remember when Brooke Shields broke the taboo on talking about postpartum depression? In this teleclass, together with a circle of experts, we broke the taboo on preconception, pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood and talked about topics that people simply don’t discuss anywhere else.

When people find my work on transitions, one of the most common questions I hear is, “How come no one talks about this?” The answer is that, when it comes to transitions, we live in a culture that propagates glossy-paged fantasies of unilateral bliss. We do not tell the truth, which leaves women and their partners feeling alone, inadequate and crazy, and prone to anxiety and depression.

In this free teleclass, we told the … Click here to continue reading...

Trying to Conceive, Pregnant, or a New Mother? Free Video Training Now Available!

Most women who are trying to conceive, pregnant, or new mothers believe that if they eat the right foods, read the right books, and take the right classes, they’ll be able to manage their fertility or pregnancy anxiety, prevent postpartum depression, and be prepared to bond with their newborn.

I was one of these women, struggling either emotionally or physically at every stage of becoming a new mother. Although I had counseled thousands of women through transitions and had appeared several times as an expert on Oprah, nothing prepared for me for the emotional and spiritual earthquake of my own transition.

When my son was a year old, I threw myself into researching the motherhood transition, and that’s when I discovered the MISSING LINK.


Since offering my clients this missing link, I’ve watched every single one of them manage their fertility anxiety and calm their pregnancy … Click here to continue reading...

A Symphony of Contradictions

As brisk autumn brushes lips with hot summer, I become aware, as I always do this time of year, of the interplay of opposites and the symphony of contradictions that are inherent to life and are amplified during transitions. The bride is simultaneously grieving and exultant; the new mother longs for her old life as she celebrates the miracle in her arms; the parents ache in their empty nest while wondering what new possibilities will fill the spaces.

Lately, the urge to have another child has risen up in me. Deep down, I’m quite certain that we’re ready to close the door on childbearing, but as Asher grows into little boyhood and Everest into big boyhood, I’m left with the longing to start the process again with another baby. Is it my grief at watching them grow up that’s igniting this longing? Probably. Is there a part of me that … Click here to continue reading...