Time to Get on With One's Loving

In response to one of the assignments in my Sacred Sexuality course to watch the film “Enchanted April”, a member of the forum shared the following. I was so moved by her response that I asked permission to share it here. She wrote:

This film touched something deep inside me. After I watched it, I wrote the following in response to Lottie’s comment that “it is a wonderful thing to get on with one’s loving.”

Suddenly I thought, Oh my gosh, I have not been getting on with my loving! No, I have been hoarding my loving for myself, waiting for someone else to show their love first before I offered mine. My fear of rejection, my hurt feelings, my self-doubt that keep me forever asking what is wrong with me that more people do not flock to my door and leave baskets of their loving on my stoop, it … Click here to continue reading...

The Critical Moment to Break Free From Anxiety

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”  – Viktor E. Frankl

If we could slow life down to micro-moments, if we could literally alter time like a movie turning it into sloooooow moooooootiiiooon so that we could elongate the critical moment when our mind veers off like a runaway locomotive and instead redirect it to stay on the smooth track of clear thinking, everything would change. As challenging as it sounds, that’s exactly what we must do if we’re going to rewire the brain to respond to the stimulus that sends the anxious mind into overdrive.

Let’s break this down with a common example of how this shows up in relationship anxiety:

“I’ll receive a text with a loving gesture, maybe a flirty emoticon or something sexy, and I’ll feel … Click here to continue reading...

Season of the Fallen Flower

It’s the season of the fallen flower. It’s the season of heat when the rising temperatures cause the petals, so vibrant and alive just a few weeks ago, to wilt. It’s the season of paradox: we bask in summer light and longer days yet the hands of darkness are stealing away the light minute by minute; we revel in the heat yet when it reaches a crescendo and breaking point we seek shelter indoors. The winter of summer. The emotional paradox of this season is that when there’s heat there’s an expectation of joy – beer and BBQs, swimming pools and parties – and yet there’s an undercurrent of sadness because we sense, especially the highly sensitive ones, the loss of light that begins after the summer solstice, and we feel in our bones the interplay of life and death.

We live in a culture that desperately seeks to avoid … Click here to continue reading...

Love is Like Flying

It’s 2:20 am. We’re on a red-eye flight on our way back from a family vacation when the captain announces, in a very calm but urgent voice, that all passengers must fasten their seatbelt. Nearly everyone is asleep anyway. For the past three hours I’ve been nodding in and out of consciousness while sitting upright with a six-year old splayed across my lap. Not exactly the position most conducive to sleep. But now I’m wide awake.

The pilot did sound particularly urgent (or is that just my hyper-vigilant, highly sensitive mind reading into things?). And that’s a strange sound coming from the engines (or are those my highly sensitive ears crossing into fear territory?). And then the turbulence hits. It feels like the plane dropped about ten feet and we’re rocking side to side, like a roller coaster. But this is no roller coaster. We’re 33,000 feet above the ground … Click here to continue reading...

Living by Your North Star

When you live by your North Star, you care less about what other people think.

When live by your North Star, you rely on the well of wisdom inside to help you make decisions both big and small.

When you live by your North Star, you have a clear sense of direction that guides your daily and moment-by-moment actions. It’s like being on autopilot in the best possible way, trusting in the rhythm and wisdom of your body as you flow with a life force that you trust instead of resist.

What is a North Star? It’s the outgrowth of filling your well of Self with warm, clear waters. What is a well of Self? It’s the place inside that is nourished by turning inward and attending to your physical, emotional, cognitive and spiritual realms.

Everything in our culture encourages you turn outward and look to others for your … Click here to continue reading...